• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Talking to dad about respite care

NickP

Registered User
Feb 23, 2021
30
0
Hi, my dad has Alzheimer's and mum cares for him. Recently it has been agreed by mum, the family, social care, the GP and mental health team that mum needs a break, and that dad should have a couple of weeks in a home for some respite. The social worker talked to dad about this, telling him he needed to go somewhere so they could sort out his meds - he didn't like it but accepted it in the end. Social care have been unable to find him a placement, but I have found somewhere near me (about an hour from their home).
Those of you who have experience of using respite - how did you 'sell it' to your person with dementia? The care manager is coming out tomorrow to do a pre-assessment, and mum is very worried about explaining to dad what its all about. I think we just do the 'sorting your meds' thing again and maybe say mum is going away with a (girl)friend for a few days?? He doesn't think he needs anyone to look after him and he says she can go where she likes as he can just look after himself (he can't!)
Any advice about how to deal with this, very gratefully received! Thank you.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,528
0
South coast
Hi @NickP
The best way to "sell" respite is to make it all about him and find some way of making it for his benefit. People have used telling him its a little holiday, that the doctor wants to improve something, that work needs doing on his house and it would be far better for him to get away from the noise and disruption .............
Never make it about giving the carer a break, or that they are going away. They are unable to understand that they can no longer do the things they used to and just see it as rejection and abandonment.

If telling him that its to sort out his meds worked before, then Id just carry on saying the same thing
 

NickP

Registered User
Feb 23, 2021
30
0
Thank you Canary. The meeting was a disaster... I'm adding a new post about it in the hope that I can get some advice and, if I'm honest, so I can just offload a bit!