1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. joyportsmouth

    joyportsmouth Registered User

    Mar 26, 2007
    31
    HI ALL

    First id like to say thank you to all that replied to my last post 'doesnt get easier' have just read the replies,means a lot.

    Went to see mum thursday,and every time i see her she seems to have deteriated so much.When we got to the home we couldnt find her and even the staff were panicking then we found her in the garden,shed managed to move a chair into the furthest corner behind a bush and she looked so sad,not crying or even unhappy just really sad.
    And though she has not made a lot of sense in the last few months,she seems to be talking complete nonsense {sorry if that sounds harsh}this was one of the sentances she said
    'If you look in the bottom drawer,there are about 6 flowers you can have,sure the kids will eat them with some soup,and that horrid man i live with phoned Dr glanville last night because the cat was ill and the Dr said i should get the boat tonight so i had to bury the dandelions in the back garden so they wouldnt take them.Can you get them?
    All of that was said in one sentance and said with such sincerity that i just nodded and said i would.
    Now im thinking that since shes been in this home shes gone down hill so fast,she only went in in march and though she was very confused ect there was a glimpse of some normality every now and then but now theres nothing.
    Also she seems so much more fraglie she cant walk very far without tripping up,though she looks better in the sense that she putting bit of weight on,being bathed ect.
    I feel that maybe i should have left her ,not pushed for a assesment on her but at the time it felt like the right thing to do.I know the good thing is that she has absolutly no idear where she is which is easier for her.

    Reading that sentance now it seems funny,but at the time i was just dumbstruck and was thinking my mums gone mad!

    joy
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london


    Its Just what she is thinking , her thoughts in her mind sound right to her , the message is not coming out Viably right , so to her she making sense , but to the listener it does not
     
  3. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Joy

    Its hard isnt it to see them going down hill, but take heart, it would have been much harder for everyone if she had still been in her own home. At least she is safe, and you say is putting on weight, and thats all to the good.

    Please dont doubt your decision, it was the right one.

    Love
    Cate xx
     
  4. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Not long ago one of the very wise TPers posted that the deterioration that seems to take place after a move into care might be more noticeable because the person is in new surroundings and coping with new things, which highlights the losses even more than when they were at home.


    Remember that this deterioration could have taken place if she was still at home, too. Imagine how much worse off she would be if that were the case!! At least you know she is safe and being physically cared for in the home.

    I do feel for you so much because there is always guilt about the care situation, even when we know it is really the only thing to do. Sending you caring wishes.
     
  5. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    I find with my mum that changes of any kind are upsetting and major change is very hard for her to handle and this always results in mum been very confused and she can't cope, her memories seem to get shuffled like a deck of cards and then what she says makes no sense, but your right to go along with your mum. It's such a sad miserable disease and I wish you and your mum well. Taffy.:)
     

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