Talk about kicked when you are down!

[robertjohnmills]

Oh my TP friends is there no end to the depths we have to fall into despair

Since Thursday I have had Social Services Kidnap my Partner and slap a Deprivation of Liberty order on. Though they insist it is a Voluntary stay. How you can be detained against your will voluntarily is beyond me. Maybe I'm just simple minded, but don't understand! They have put him in a hospital with no idea about his medication and as we speak they still have not got it fully sorted out. I have been Arrested, thrown in cell. I only know where he is because he rang me to ask me to get him and come home! I have been treated like common criminal and until yesterday nobody would talk to me they all said same "we cant discuss with you"

Now I know a bit more the from the Police who tell me there is allegation of ABH from Mark in that on 16th at 2am I attacked him causing him bruising and that at various times I have tried to strangle him, suffocate him and drown him. If were his words then after this episode I probably would do this to him, but I know that these are other peoples words, leading questions, poor interviewing and the promise of cigarettes.

My darling has Dementia with a personality disorder unable to understand consequences or make judgements. This combined with the juggernaught of Social Services and Police and collusion by a useless Day Centre has ripped us apart. This is just the last straw. I am going to Instruct Solicitor on Tuesday and I'll sue them for Breach of Duty of Care toward Mark.

I know one thing I don't think I will ever trust anyone again. Just want to be alone Mark and me and screw Social Services, Day Centre and Police.

Neither of us have ever done even the most trivial thing. Now we both have Police records and I know Social Services are Power Mad with very little restriction and they are only interested in covering their backside even at our expense.

What a life

 

[Amy]

Oh Robert, what a terrible mess. Please be cautious though what you write on here if the police are making allegations. See a solicitor on Tuesday, can AS be of any assistance. Are you able to see/have contact with Mark? Hope that things can be resolved for you quickly. You mention bruising....is Mark on any blood thinners warfarin, aspirin, clopidogrel which contribute to easy bruising?
I hope things can be resolved quickly for both of you.

Amyx

 

[Grannie G]

I do understand what is happening Robert. It scared me silly when my husband used to say he was frightened of me. I worried he would say it to someone else and he would be believed.

I can only suggest you seek advice, either from the AS Helpline, the Samaritans who have a listening service and may be able to point you in the right direction, from AgeUK or the CAB.

 

[Izzy]

Oh Robert, I'm so sorry to read about this. It is beyond words. I hope you can get some good advice and help on Tuesday. Take care. x

 

[lin1]

Oh Robert I an so sorry to hear this
I do hope this can be sorted out soon

I wonder if your MP could help

 

[SWMBO1950]

Robert I am very sorry to read your post. Must be very distressing for you both.

A solicitor 1st thing on Tuesday sounds a good plan to me.

Unfortunately the suggestion of your MP is not going to be easy as they all scuttle away this time of year during recess but you could give it a try.

Please let us know how you get on.

Best Wishes

 

[Isabella41]

This is so sad. Its beyond me how those in authority take what someone with dementia says as if it were 100% truth. I've walked a simliar path to you in that my mum has through her own story telling played a very large part in alienating my own daughters from me. Its very very hard.

I can hear from the tone of your message that you are in the depths of despair. Please be so very careful what you type on places like these that anyone can access. You do not want to make an awful suituation even worse.

I agree with others and think you must take legal advice as soon as you possibly can. If you partner is on any medication to thin the blood then make sure this is raised as soon as possible as one of the side effects of this medication is that it causes bruising very easily.

I think that because they have made a deprivation of liberty order they are in fact saying Mark lacks capacity to make informed decisions. A good solicitor would raise the point that if someone has a confirmed dementia diagnosis and is deemed to lack capacity then it is reasonable to assume that their allegations (whether persuaded to make them by others or not) can not really be judged as reliable. I'm no legal brain but I'm reasonably sure that unless you've actually been charged or cautioned with an offence then there is no record as such that you ever came to the attention of police.


Isabella

 

[meme]

legal advice as has been mentioned is going to help you, and will provide some clarity and someone on your side, which you badly need in this dreadful situation...

 

[mrjelly]

You have helped me already

Dear Robert,

I am so appalled by how you have been treated. In a way it has helped me to put my own little problems into perspective. I don't know how to advise you, but I just wanted you to know you have my full support and best wishes.

Pete

 

[Loopiloo]

Dear Robert

I am also appalled about the sitution you find yourself in, also Mark. You definitely need legal advice as soon as possible. Also as has been said, to be cautious what you write on a forum open to anyone to read. (unless posted in the Tea Room, and even that can be accessed if someone takes the trouble to register as a TP member)

Your depths of despair comes over so clearly, I do hope it can all be resolved as soon as possible.

Best wishes and good luck

Loo x

 

[jan1962]

Hi Robert,

i have just read your post and find your situation frightening to say the least. please be careful what you say as this could be read and used against you. as others have said please take legal advice first thing on Tuesday. please keep us update so that we can continue to offer support to the both of you.

keep strong

jan1962

 

[NeverGiveUp]

I echo what others say, be careful who reads this. Would it be an idea to edit your post just a tiny little bit?

Solicitor is 100% good idea. Also speak to whatever organisation specialises in your partners health challenges, MIND would probably be appropriate, they would be able to interpret what is really going on.

The police are not experts in this, they act on information given either by partner, SS or whoever. Have you actually told the police he is on warfarin and the link to bruising? They may not know.

We have our own problems, you have 100% my sympathy, just chip away at things slowly, good luck.

 

[rjm]

Robert,
So sorry to hear about this situation, how terrible for you both. I hope you can get the help you need to sort it out quickly.
Best wishes to you and Mark

 

[alex]

Hi Robert

I’m sure you are probably busy trying to get things sorted out and get Mark back home, but as you understandably seemed very upset in your post.........and before my vivid imagination starts running away with me and I start worrying your locked up in a cell somewhere, can you just let us know your ok?

There are people here who do care Robert.

Alex x

 

[NeverGiveUp]

I echo Alex post, are you alright ?

 

[chris53]

Hello Robert, am so very sorry for all the problems you are going through, my thoughts are with you and please let us know when you can, that you and Mark are OK.

Best wishes - Chris x