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Taking mum out for walks

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
81
0
52
Liverpool
Mums been in the care home for 7 weeks now and is settled. She doesn’t ask me to take her home now. Her conversations are very muddled and I don’t really know what she’s on about a lot of the time but I let her happily jabber on. Every time I go she has clothes on that are covered in stains or dry food. Her nails are always filthy too. I take her out when I go but, she looks a mess. Today she said that she felt sore underneath so when I took her back I asked to speak to the manager but she was on meds round so she rang me when I got home. She’s asked was it ok to check her and she did and rang me back. Mum had a heat rash between her legs so she washed her and put a barrier cream on much to mums relief apparently! She has winter clothes on every time me or my aunties go so I said please stop putting thick clothes on her it’s very hot at the
Moment and she has loads of lovely thinner, summer tops and loose linen trousers. I took her to get her hair cut and I cut her nails really short. Am I being too fussy in wanting her to look nice when I take her out? It’s horrible that I can’t get in to see her room because then I’d know if all her stuffs been unpacked. She must have been boiling today as she had a jacket on, a long sleeved top, thick jeans and a pair of black socks and trainers on. My auntie has said she’s going to ring ahead on her next visit to ask that she has clean clothes on. I appreciate they are very busy but when I asked about the stains today the manager said oh it’ll be from her dinner. Sorry if I’m jabbering on but I hate seeing her unkempt she was always so well turned out. I’m not asking them to make her look like she’s going to a wedding just to look clean and tidy.
 

PJ

Registered User
Jan 26, 2017
359
0
54
Bristol
Mums been in the care home for 7 weeks now and is settled. She doesn’t ask me to take her home now. Her conversations are very muddled and I don’t really know what she’s on about a lot of the time but I let her happily jabber on. Every time I go she has clothes on that are covered in stains or dry food. Her nails are always filthy too. I take her out when I go but, she looks a mess. Today she said that she felt sore underneath so when I took her back I asked to speak to the manager but she was on meds round so she rang me when I got home. She’s asked was it ok to check her and she did and rang me back. Mum had a heat rash between her legs so she washed her and put a barrier cream on much to mums relief apparently! She has winter clothes on every time me or my aunties go so I said please stop putting thick clothes on her it’s very hot at the
Moment and she has loads of lovely thinner, summer tops and loose linen trousers. I took her to get her hair cut and I cut her nails really short. Am I being too fussy in wanting her to look nice when I take her out? It’s horrible that I can’t get in to see her room because then I’d know if all her stuffs been unpacked. She must have been boiling today as she had a jacket on, a long sleeved top, thick jeans and a pair of black socks and trainers on. My auntie has said she’s going to ring ahead on her next visit to ask that she has clean clothes on. I appreciate they are very busy but when I asked about the stains today the manager said oh it’ll be from her dinner. Sorry if I’m jabbering on but I hate seeing her unkempt she was always so well turned out. I’m not asking them to make her look like she’s going to a wedding just to look clean and tidy.
I completely understand and agree that you should tell them it’s important your mum is well kept and dressed appropriately for the weather. I hope they support your wishes for yours and your mums sake ❤️
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,627
0
@Nannyslittlechip I would feel exactly as you do but I remember spending many evenings with dad during heatwaves and I would be feeling that I was going to die of the heat while dad would be sitting there quite happily in his woolly jumper and insisting that all the windows and curtains were closed. Sometimes dementia messes with peoples internal thermometer. It certainly did with my dad.

I wouldn't be happy about dirty nails and mucky clothes but my dad couldn't see stains on his clothes even when I showed them to him. It can be just another aspect of the disease or it could be that they are not taking the care that they should in keeping your mum clean.

I would definitely try to see her room if you can and I would hope that they have unpacked her things and made it as nice as possible for her. It would at least give you an indication of whether they have tried or not. The heat rash sounds nasty and if your mum has been uncomfortable then she is likely to be miserable and maybe she has been a bit resistant to interference from staff. I agree that you need to speak to someone to find out about these things and they should be happy to speak to you about it. I hope you get some answers.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,685
0
High Peak
You may find just taking the manager to task about these things does the trick. Yes, they are busy, yes, they are understaffed but what you describe is down to basic lack of care. Not completely, but maybe skimping on things here and there.

I found that once they know you're keeping a close eye on things, they pull their socks up! To be honest, your mum should look smart, clean and appropriately dressed whether she's going out or not so you are right to show concern. If things don't improve you'd need to consider whether your mum is in the right place...
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
81
0
52
Liverpool
@Nannyslittlechip I would feel exactly as you do but I remember spending many evenings with dad during heatwaves and I would be feeling that I was going to die of the heat while dad would be sitting there quite happily in his woolly jumper and insisting that all the windows and curtains were closed. Sometimes dementia messes with peoples internal thermometer. It certainly did with my dad.

I wouldn't be happy about dirty nails and mucky clothes but my dad couldn't see stains on his clothes even when I showed them to him. It can be just another aspect of the disease or it could be that they are not taking the care that they should in keeping your mum clean.

I would definitely try to see her room if you can and I would hope that they have unpacked her things and made it as nice as possible for her. It would at least give you an indication of whether they have tried or not. The heat rash sounds nasty and if your mum has been uncomfortable then she is likely to be miserable and maybe she has been a bit resistant to interference from staff. I agree that you need to speak to someone to find out about these things and they should be happy to speak to you about it. I hope you get some answers.
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
81
0
52
Liverpool
You may find just taking the manager to task about these things does the trick. Yes, they are busy, yes, they are understaffed but what you describe is down to basic lack of care. Not completely, but maybe skimping on things here and there.

I found that once they know you're keeping a close eye on things, they pull their socks up! To be honest, your mum should look smart, clean and appropriately dressed whether she's going out or not so you are right to show concern. If things don't improve you'd need to consider whether your mum is in the right place...
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️