Hi,
I came to seek for help and advice.
I am a 25 y.o living in Manchester and I visit my family in Cambridge every 2 months. I have a single mother who currently lives with my grandma with dementia. They live in the same house. My mom moved in last November, originally taking care of my grandma and granddad but sadly my granddad passed away. My mom only recently (2 months now) hired a day and night carer for my grandma but it's not 24hour care. The time my granddad passed away, my mom has been taking care of my grandma alone and finally reached her breaking point long ago. I think my grandma is stage 6(?) -- she forgets things even after telling her, she doesn't recognise anyone apart from my mom (sometimes), she calls out for my granddad but she forgot who he is, she can walk a bit but is in a wheelchair, she can talk, read a bit but she has forgotten how to write, she has bowel problems (she poops and pees everywhere) and lastly she can get really confused and scared.
Anyway, I'm writing this more about my mom who is disabled and also has an illness herself. It can get worse if she is in a lot of stress. She has already reached her limit with my grandma, shouting at her and it's going on everyday. It looks like she's coming to a point where maybe she hates her. Even if we have carers, the time between when the carers are not here my mom has to take care of my grandma and it frustrates her because she's fed up. I always tell her that "we can't do anything because it's the dementia that's controlling her" but my mom has already given up... I mean, with the symptoms she has I can see why my mom has given up, having to look after and clean up my grandma everyday without any help... And yes, she has siblings but they are USELESS. I always help when I visit, taking care both my mom and my grandma.
I'm still young, moving on with life but I am worried about my mom. I think one day her illness will come back and I've seen what it does to her. I was thinking of moving near Cambridge temporarily only to take care of my mother or (as one of the carer advised me) hire a carer for my mom. My mom knows I have my own life and doesn't want me to worry about her but I do. Thankfully I have a partner who is understanding and my workplace allows remote work, so at this point I don't know whether to move back to Cambridge, hire a carer for my mom or maybe my mom could hire another carer that can fill in the gap between when the day and nigh carers are not around?
Looking forward to any advice, thanks!
I came to seek for help and advice.
I am a 25 y.o living in Manchester and I visit my family in Cambridge every 2 months. I have a single mother who currently lives with my grandma with dementia. They live in the same house. My mom moved in last November, originally taking care of my grandma and granddad but sadly my granddad passed away. My mom only recently (2 months now) hired a day and night carer for my grandma but it's not 24hour care. The time my granddad passed away, my mom has been taking care of my grandma alone and finally reached her breaking point long ago. I think my grandma is stage 6(?) -- she forgets things even after telling her, she doesn't recognise anyone apart from my mom (sometimes), she calls out for my granddad but she forgot who he is, she can walk a bit but is in a wheelchair, she can talk, read a bit but she has forgotten how to write, she has bowel problems (she poops and pees everywhere) and lastly she can get really confused and scared.
Anyway, I'm writing this more about my mom who is disabled and also has an illness herself. It can get worse if she is in a lot of stress. She has already reached her limit with my grandma, shouting at her and it's going on everyday. It looks like she's coming to a point where maybe she hates her. Even if we have carers, the time between when the carers are not here my mom has to take care of my grandma and it frustrates her because she's fed up. I always tell her that "we can't do anything because it's the dementia that's controlling her" but my mom has already given up... I mean, with the symptoms she has I can see why my mom has given up, having to look after and clean up my grandma everyday without any help... And yes, she has siblings but they are USELESS. I always help when I visit, taking care both my mom and my grandma.
I'm still young, moving on with life but I am worried about my mom. I think one day her illness will come back and I've seen what it does to her. I was thinking of moving near Cambridge temporarily only to take care of my mother or (as one of the carer advised me) hire a carer for my mom. My mom knows I have my own life and doesn't want me to worry about her but I do. Thankfully I have a partner who is understanding and my workplace allows remote work, so at this point I don't know whether to move back to Cambridge, hire a carer for my mom or maybe my mom could hire another carer that can fill in the gap between when the day and nigh carers are not around?
Looking forward to any advice, thanks!
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