• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Taking Advantage of Person with Dementia


Registered User
Oct 25, 2014
Being Taken Advantage Of

I am sure my mother is in early stages of Alz or Dementia, but no diagnosis has been made as she is not admitting a problem. As none of the family live near we cannot monitor the situation regularly enough. We as a family have noticed strange things to do with memory. She will insist that something that happened only two years ago never did. Latest is that she can't even remember who she is talking about and when corrected still continues to say the wrong family members name. None of this is too serious at this stage.

However, there is a family member who has more to do with her than anyone else, and even admitted over a year ago that he thought there was a problem, which he is now denying. Since this he has attempted and succeed to alienate her from most other family members at the same time making her think he is great. He has in the past had financial help from her and she has always made excuses as to why he needs the help and believes everything he tells her, even though the rest of us question what he says she always defends him. She confides in him and no one else especially on matters concerning her finances. We are all extremely worried as she is now talking of selling her house and therefore increasing her disposable assets. We think this family member is taking advantage of her mental problems and influencing her into making decisions which in the long run would benefit him. He is known for manipulating and devious behaviour.

We are at a loss to know what to do. My mother will not have a word said against him and falls out with anyone who tries to advise her or make her see what ulterior motives there are concerning him. Several family members have tried and the result is for her to fall out with them and exclude them. We do realise that legally this could be seen as fraud on an elderly sick person, but if the person insists that this is not going on and can not see what his happening what can we do? Has anyone else experience of this and can they advise us if there is anything we can do.


Registered User
May 2, 2015
Grief carrie, things are sounding bad there. My family had a similar situation many years ago. My mother had Parkinsons and my dad was in good health but struggled with coping with her. He had reached the end of his tether with being able to cope with her ar home and was looking for a care home to get her into. To do this, the family house would need to be sold and he was going to look for a smaller property near to her. The situation was complex as he and my mother lived abroad and their eldest son lived in the same house rent-free and made no financial contribution and myself and my other brother lived in UK. My mother also throught that the eldest son was wonderful and would not allow anyone to say/do anything against him - he also poisoned my mopther's mins against the rest of the family. Also, the house was owned by my mother, rather than my father. This brother actually threatened my parents, saying they could not sell the house as it would leave him homeless, unless he was given a very large portion of the sale proceeds; if this was done my father would not have enough to pay for the placement for my mother and buy himself a small cottage. I nkow the situation was finally resolved and the family home was sold, my mother moved into a care home and my father did get a cottage and the eldest brother moved away but there was a lot of bitter recriminations all round. So, I very much understand the horrors that you and the rest of the family are going through.

Is there a power of attorney for your mother's affairs - and if so, who are the people who are supposed to be looking after your mother's finances and property - I think they are done as two separate settlements these days? It may be worth seeking some legal advise, to see if enforcing this power could help stop the other family member from forcing your mother into decisions that she does not want, so that he is the only beneficiary to the detriment of others. A very difficult situation to be in.