Taken its toll this week.....

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by keegan2, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. keegan2

    keegan2 Registered User

    Jan 11, 2015
    190
    For the past week o/h has driven me to despair. Every morning when he realises I am going to work starts having a tantrum and this week decided it would be a good idea to leave the house in his pyjamas. I have had to beg him to come back in calm him down then get ready for work and go only for him to ring every 20 minutes or so the whole morning. Have not been able to concentrate at work and when your colleagues keep asking whats wrong well obviously the water works start (cannot deal with sympathy at all). This carried on for 3 mornings on the trot Saturday was the final straw he ran out no slippers rain pouring and in his pyjamas. Managed to get him back in after I told him I would not go to work, calmed the situation and he was a different person. Rang work and have been off now 4 days but hope to go back on Wednesday. Doctor had prescribed mirtazapine depression tablets a month ago but I had not given them to him but on Saturday night thought enough is enough and have started him on the course 7.5g for 2 weeks then 15g after. Don't know if this a good idea, he had been moody prior to last week and things have not changed yet (expecting some kind of miracle). Have I done the right thing? Don't know what I am going to do if he starts kicking off again on Wenesday, I only work 10 to 2, 4 hours a day 5 days. However he just doesn't want me to go and won't have anyone sitting with him
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    We had to wait about a week before noticing a difference in my mum. Mirtazapine was the 3rd anti depressant mum tried and it did help. The first two we tried just made her anxious and more confused. Its hit and miss, but once you find one that works and the right time of day to take it, things do improve. Mum took Mirtazapine for about 8 months, last March I noticed anxiety and confusion building in her again and first we upped the dose, but this did not help so her consultant prescribed Fluoxetine 20mg. Within days of taking it things improved, it certainly helped ease some of her obsessions.
     
  3. keegan2

    keegan2 Registered User

    Jan 11, 2015
    190
    Hopefully the medicine will kick in quickly. Think I am going to have trouble wtih him in the morning. If I could afford to leave work I would but I can't so lets just hope this phase does not last to long........
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Good luck tomorrow xx So sorry you are having so much difficulty. Will be thinking of you x
    Would he not even accept a friend popping in for a tea and then popping in again at lunchtime? It would break up the 4 hours and he might get used to it?
     
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Everything crossed for you Keegan.
     
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Keegan2 would your husband consider going to day care if that is available? Alternatively wonder if you could get a carer who your husband thinks is helping you by doing housework, ironing or whatever who could keep an eye on him. Have you had a carers assessment from social services?


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  7. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    My husband doesn't like me out of his sight. On the plus side, I am retired; on the negative side, I feel resentful towards the illness and at times towards him because I feel like a prisoner.
    I am waiting for a SS assessment and a visit from someone from Alzheimer's society. I am hoping they will help me find a way of leaving him safely a few hours now and again for both our sakes.
    So, understanding and empathy from me but no solutions yet x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  8. keegan2

    keegan2 Registered User

    Jan 11, 2015
    190
    Thanks for your comments. Today was not so bad he was feeling very low so I had to reassure him I loved him and would be back quick. He was quite vulnerable and I felt bad but I left for work as usual. Come back and he is quite subdued and making comments about how I left him. Another battle tomorrow.........It is so tiring trying to be nice all the time.....
     
  9. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    Mirtazapine just really just messed up OH, he was a complete mess and we ended up in hospital. Non specific viral infection that went to a cold, but OH says no no to the anti depressants. It was helping his appetite but now after that set him back............he won't try any other now.

    BTW OH has Parkinson's.
     
  10. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Well done today xx keep going and keep pestering for that carers assessment - i was exhausted and it made all the difference, add in a dose of daycare (didn't want to go but settled in the end) and suddenly i felt so much better. There really is light at the end of this tunnel xxx keep posting x
     

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