Sympathy needed

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
My husband has just jiggered up the radiators - says they are not working but that is because the timing has been adjusted!! I had just got everything organised for the cold spell!

Now after half an hour of fiddling he is exhausted.
My husband sleeps alot! I asked the GP if this was normal with AD and he just shrugged it off - I think he meant 'no'. Does this happen to anyone else?
 

twink

Registered User
Oct 28, 2005
265
0
71
Cambridgeshire UK
tiredness

Hi Beckyjan,

My husband Steve is on Exelon, 3mgs twice a day and I read the possible side effects and it says, 'fatigue' amongst many others such as agitation, confusion and weakness. Maybe I'm dim but AD drugs cause confusion? Steve has been sleeping a lot in the day and many hours during the night but he's been on quuite strong painkillers for his rheumatoid arthritis. I've stopped those now but he still sleeps if he sits down. He was a really busy, acitve man and I can only assume that because he does nothing now that as soon as he sits down, he dozes off. Steve went to bed at 11pm the other night and got up at 2:20 the next afternoon! I was scared to go in not knowing what I'd find! Funny you mention radiators, Steve has just said he wants his turning up in the bedroom as he's cold up there, he was about to go up and do it and then said "I can't think where it is". It's under the window where it's always been. I will have to check that it's not on full blast tonight!!!

Twink/Sue
 

blue sea

Registered User
Aug 24, 2005
270
0
England
Hi Beckyjan

it's so annoying when doctors just shrug - what sort of help is that to us!!!! I think you'll find (and I'm sure other TP members will give their experiences) that some AD sufferers sleep more and some less then normal and that this can change as the illness progresses. Having said that, obviously medication will affect sleep patterns, as Twink suggests.

best of luck- keep posting as everyone will help if they can.

blue sea
 
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Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
801
0
Buckinghamshire
Dear Beckyjan,
My husband spent a lot of time asleep or dozing off, and I assumed it was partly because he actually needed more sleep, and also because there was so much less stimulation and purpose in his life. He often slept for 10-12 hours during the night, and would still nap throughout the day.
However, he was taken off Aricept in August, and seems to be needing much less sleep now, which makes me wonder whether the drugs tired him out .....
 

daughter

Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
824
0
Hi BeckyJan,

I replied to this post in the 'Hi A intro' thread but in case you miss it:

daughter said:
Hi BeckyJan,

My Dad used to sleep a lot when he was at home, but he would also get up in the middle of the night, get fully dressed and sit in the armchair.

There have been a couple of threads with reference to this lately ('sleeping' is highlighted in red):

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=1514&page=1&highlight=sleeping

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=2400&page=1&highlight=sleeping

I'm not sure what to suggest about the radiators though, hope you can reset them. :(

Best wishes,
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
Sleeping

Thanks for all your comments - it is good to air these points with 'experienced' folk.
I think you are right - probably a combination of tablets and less to stimulate. Perhaps this lack of brain power is in itself a sedative.

I have typed out a beautiful tabled list for Christmas cards - and today he has spent cutting up the old one making up his own table and sticking it all together - this man was once a very successful businessman - how things change.

This facility is great as it is making me feel more normal when I have bizarre thoughts of my own. BeckJan
 
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Rosalind

Registered User
Jul 2, 2005
203
0
Wiltshire
Hello BeckyJan. I wonder if the sleeping is similar to what happens if people are put in a room without natural light, clocks etc for a long period. I think they then sleep far more than when out in the world, so perhaps the befuddled brain just wants out rather more.
As for radiators, how I sympathise. We have just had a boiler crisis (and thinking back to a thread a few months back about What I Miss the Most, I think what I miss is someone who is any good in a crisis). When finally the man had been, twice, we mentioned that one radiator did not seem to be working properly. 'Take off the thermostat' said boilerman, as they can jam apparently. He said leave it off for two hours. Husband was right beside me and boilerman when this was suggested, and saw thermostat bit being taken off. I went off to do something else, came back, and found thermostat neatly replaced, and Husband had no memory whatsoever of instruction.
Drives you mad.
 

JANICE

Registered User
Jun 28, 2005
23
0
75
SOUTHAMPTON
This all sounds so familiar, it must be something about boilers and central heating and AD. My husband, Keith, is just the same. We have just had a new boiler put in and he seems to think that he has to keep bleeding the radiators every 5 minutes. He wont leave them alone and then the pressure on the boiler needs adjusting because the heating isn't working properly so I get the pressure up and then he decides he's got to bleed the radiators again!! and its a vicious circle. I could scream.

With regard to sleeping, Keith could sleep for England. He sleeps all evening in the chair and then he's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow when he goes to bed. He probably sleeps all day as well but I wouldn't know as I am at work but I know when I have phoned him a couple of times during the day I have woken him up. He is on Aricept so maybe it is something to do with that.


Janice
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
0
Talking of radiators. We set Mum's radiators at a certain level, but she then changes them back to 'maximum'. When you first enter her house, you can smell the paint burning off them!! It's a wonder the whole system doesn't blow up!
 

MichelleE

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
14
0
64
Bedford UK
Radiators

Don't talk to me about the heating system. Mum can't fathom how a thermostat works so when the radiator is cold I get "it's not working" I have already had the engineer remover the timer as she kept telling me the battery was going and was always fiddling with it!
I expect I shall get home from work to find the radiator in my sitting room turned off :)
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
0
Frinton-on-Sea
Seems to me that 'sleeping a lot' and feeling the cold, are quite common symptoms of dementia.
Unless I keep Lionel fully occupied he will sleep, and as for the cold, everything has to be warmed before he will put clothes on. His latest saying is "you can never be too warm". How times change eh! Connie
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
sleeping and feeling the cold!

I now feel like one of a gang - how unfortunate we are. We now live in a hothouse and I thought I was always the cold one. D used to keep all the heating off and I was perished and now I can hardly breathe for the heat!! He says thermostats dont work - and we have a w.burning stove on day and night so unless they are fixed at around 30 degrees they are not likely to respond!

Everyone keep up the good work - I think we are the chosen ones!
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
0
Beckyjan
My mum was exactly the same. We practically had to burn the furniture to keep her warm. The house was like the tropics, I nearly passed out cooking once!
 

pansypotter

Registered User
Dec 1, 2005
8
0
Scotland
Hi Becky Jan
I do feel such sympathy for you - but sorry I am so happy to have read your problem. No you are not alone. You are the first person to have made me feel human for three years!. My husband goes around and messes up all the things I have done to make things safe, comfortanble etc. He always used to lock up, set the alarm, make sure the house was secure when we went out. Would not let me even rewire a plug because it was not to his exacting standards. Now he will leave the front door open, leave the fire on - the list is endless. Yes he does sleep alot too - but maybe that just makes up for me not sleeping!
 

PurplePoppy

Registered User
Oct 3, 2005
53
0
My mum sleeps a lot of the time. She's not on medication for her Vascular Dementia though. Her doctor reckons the side effects wouldn't be worth what little help they'd be.
 

Rosalind

Registered User
Jul 2, 2005
203
0
Wiltshire
Hello pansy

Hi - I joined TP because I read a posting that I really related to. While it can be depressing reading about people further along the road, it is a huge relief to learn there are others in the same boat. And it is easier to moan here, than to keep being a pain to friends, who should really be your lifeline when it comes to having time off, rather than a punch bag.

I feel I relate best of all to other people with husbands who are sufferers - it changes a relationship SO much, and it is comforting to know there are others who have awful, sometimes murderous, thoughts.

I've just snapped at my husband, which upset him, so then I felt awful. So as penance am about to go outside in rain to help him move a huge pile of logs that were delivered on Wednesday and, thanks to the rain, have now created a sort of dam.
 

twink

Registered User
Oct 28, 2005
265
0
71
Cambridgeshire UK
husbands AD

Hi Rosalind,

I could have written that myself! I snapped and swore at my husband last night because he wound me up and he had fiddled around with my computer - my lifeline - and something had gone wrong but somehow I've fixed it. No idea how! He and I haven't had the most wonderful marriage in the world, far from it, he was very active, hobbies and work, ALL the time, hardly anytime at home and now he is here ALL the time and relies on me and although I hate to say it, I get angry about it. He's had his life and I've sat at home for all those years waiting for him and now he has this awful AD and I think, I'm 53, what about me now but, you can't think like that, you have to get on with it don't you and take what life throws at you. He is very happy and very forgetful and can't do the most simple things - sometimes - and this morning told me "I'd be lost without you wouldn't I".

What can you do or say, just have to get on with it. He's not bad at all at the moment compared to some people I've read about on TP so, we are quite lucky really for now.

Love Twink/Sue
 

JANICE

Registered User
Jun 28, 2005
23
0
75
SOUTHAMPTON
Hi Rosalind & Twink

Your posts sound very familiar. You just can't stop them fiddling and interfering with things can you! My husband used to be able to do all sorts of diy jobs in the house and now can't put a nail in but he still thinks he can do everything. I appreciate this must be very frustrating for him but I find myself really loosing my temper with him and then comes the associated guilt afterwards. I get very resentful and annoyed with him because he can't do things which of course is silly because he doesn't do it intentionally but oh it is so so difficult to cope with at times.

At the moment I have a very bad cold and cough and I am feeling very very low and he has chosen this time to start loosing/hiding things, in particular his camera. He then gets very angry with everyone accusing us all of taking his things. I lost it with him this morning before I came to work and in fact I think I probably should have had a day off sick but preferred the option of coming to work feeling like death to staying at home with him! How awful is that but sometimes I find I have just got to get away from him.

Janice
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
0
Suffolk,England
JANICE said:
... this morning before I came to work and in fact I think I probably should have had a day off sick but preferred the option of coming to work feeling like death to staying at home with him! How awful is that but sometimes I find I have just got to get away from him.

Janice I really identify with that feeling of needing to get away from it (AD) for a while, but here's an ironic little tale of how that can rebound on you. (My mum is still OK to be by herself in her own home, with a bit of support from me - the tale is about me!)
A few weeks ago I had been out to spend a few hours with my friend, and drove home to Mum's at about 9.30pm. As always, I had the radio on, and as I pulled up onto the driveway I thought "I'll just sit here for a few minutes and listen to the end of this play" so I put the lights off, sat back and closed my eyes ... Yes, you've guessed it; over an HOUR later I woke up, stiff and freezing cold, and I had STILL missed the end of the play.
I wonder what the neighbours thought :eek:
 

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