Dear all, I just went to visit my mum today who has very advanced vascular dementia and who is an excellent care home in the north-west. She cannot swallow AT ALL - her drinks (squash and tea) are thickened to make them go down easier but even then she chokes and coughs. Tea today was soup and sandwiches - neither of which went down - at all - half a sandwich maybe. She has a nibble, stores it in her mouth and then splutters or chokes coughing up lots of really thick white mucus. This mucus is ever-present and makes her gurgle when talking - though her power of speech is almost nil. The care home staff say it is because she has lost the ability to swallow. I currently have lots of interesting career opportunities in West Africa where I feel more at home - I have worked in Mali and Senegal for 20+ years on collaborative cultural projects around music mainly and mum (and late dad - whom I adored) have always supported that - but how can I leave her now ? On the other hand I can get back in less than 24 hours and on the 'other' other hand I thought in August she would not be around by Christmas and it is now May so who knows ?? .. but not being able to swallow ??? She is all skin and bones and has no cognitive function at all, although she did recognise me today . Home staff say GP will not prescribe Complan or fortifying drink as it comes back to the question of swallowing.
What to do ? Should I go away for, in principle, 6 months - tho I can come back at short notice. My career /short-term happiness dictates I should, plus I love being in West Africa more than here..but I feel i can't leave her even tho i have every confidence in the home..however, there is noone else to help out really. That is the problem.
What to do , please advise !! Please be brutally honest as to whether I should go or not. I would really appreciate that. Many thanks.
S x
What to do ? Should I go away for, in principle, 6 months - tho I can come back at short notice. My career /short-term happiness dictates I should, plus I love being in West Africa more than here..but I feel i can't leave her even tho i have every confidence in the home..however, there is noone else to help out really. That is the problem.
What to do , please advise !! Please be brutally honest as to whether I should go or not. I would really appreciate that. Many thanks.
S x
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