Sw visit

[monty14]

hi all

i have a sw visit tomorrow for the first time.

what type of things should i be asking for cos im sure they wont offer anything until we say we cxant cope.

my mum is to scared to stay on her own so we are all going to hers and covering a 24 .7 period obviously we can not continue this but i have no idea whay they could offer us

this site has been a life saver so far for me

 

[chris53]

Hello Monty, good luck with your meeting tomorrow, can only suggest make lots of notes before this meeting, think of mum on her "bad days" rather then the good ones,you are right in saying they will not offer much or anything if you let it be known you and your family are coping well, having help installed now even if it is a few hours per week will be a godsend in the future, and also get mum used to having outside help, the SS do monitor any help provided and the care agency will need to report back to them on a regular basis, please request a written copy of what has been agreed, just so you know what services will be provided
Take care and let us know how the meeting went
Chris x

 

[kingmidas1962]

I think you have to be brutally, upsettingly honest. Tell it like it is - at its worst, as if every day was a bad day. Mention words like 'carer breakdown' (you) and 'vulnerable' (mum) and make it perfectly clear that neither you nor she can continue this way.

I've often heard it said that no adult can be expected or required to care for another and I would simply state that if help is not forthcoming you will be forced into crisis and will not be able to continue - this of course need not be true - or rather imminent, but you do have to lay it on thick!

Very, very best of luck. A good social worker, if you get one, is priceless. I've dealt with three - one very good, one who was OK (but hard to get hold of) and the third useless. Luckily the useless one came first to be replaced by the very good one!

 

[monty14]

thanks for the replies, my daughter who is a social worker but works with youth offenders will be with me so im sure as soon as he finds out shes in the business so to speak im hoping he will tell us everything and not hold back. i will tell how it is on bad days and also a few white lies as im sure they will give us nothing if we let them.
i quite a stubborn person and used to getting what i want so hopefully this will be usefull tomorrow ha ha

 

[Nebiroth]

Yep, tell it how it is. You are right, they won't offer anything if they think you can "manage" with how things are. If you give the slightest indication that you can manage to keep on doing the 24/7 bit then they'll grab it with both hands and let you get on with it.

squeakiest wheels get most grease. Also, stick up for yourselves and make it plain there are things you can't or won;t do. The expectation is that you'll be willing and able to do everything and anything, either with or without help. Don't let the assumption that "you are family, therefore there is nothing you will not do" ride, and don;t be guilted into taking on things you feel you can't manage or don't want to do.

Don't worry about thinking you'll be seen as demanding, un-coperative or even in some way letting the side down by not offering to take everything on. Remember, you're not there to make their job easier, they are there to help you.

Also ask for a carer's assessment. This is a legal right and it means an assessment that focusses on your needs.

 

[monty14]

oh my goodness its such a huge thing. one minute mum is forgetful and funny the next day she is frightend to be on her own in her own home how terrible this awful disease is.

i will =tell it how it is tomorrow on her really bad days and hope he has a few solutions for us.

 

[sistermillicent]

It is useful to be able to provide specific examples, if you can say for instance that yesterday mum put a pan on and it burned because she forgot it rather than just saying she is forgetful. It is also useful to write things down to jog your own memory. And have something nice planned for after because it can be quite soul destroying looking at the worst of it.