Suspect husband has dementia or alzeimer

[Marysusan]

My husband aged 67 has been retired 15 years. For some years now he just sits on sofa watching tv all day. Earlier this year his leg just snapped, osteoporosis was diagnosed he had not fallen, just sat about. He has been doing less and less for years. But fir quite some time it is clear he is no longer capable of doing anything. He can wash and shave and that is he days work. I have begged. Pleaded with him to do a job that needs doing that i cannot. I do absolutely everything, even if dangerous. Cant afford to pay someone for everything.
He will say will do it tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. His memory is terrible, he will watch a programme over and over saying not seen it. I have a struggle to get him to change trousers. Total apathy etc. How do i get him to dr

 

[Louise7]

Hello @Marysusan welcome, you will find this a friendly and supportive place. There could be a number of reasons why your husband's behaviour is how it is, such as depression or other health issues, not necessarily dementia. You are right to think about getting him to see the doctor - could you perhaps try contacting/writing to the GP including the things that you've posted here? They could then arrange for him to be called in for a general 'check up' - this method has worked well for other forum members. I'm sure that others will be along soon with some suggestions but keep posting as you are not alone.

 

[Grannie G]

Too many people don`t know what to do with themselves when they retire @Marysusan and can easily sink into depression.

If you can`t get your husband to see the doctor, perhaps you can contact them and express your concerns. It`s what I did when I was worried about my husband.

I know it`s difficult now surgeries are not open. I once phoned my GP using my mobile when I went for a walk.

 

[Marysusan]

I have long suspected my husband may have dementia. Started off with memory it is very bad, short term memory. Also what i have thought to be laziness is now far beyond that. He has total apathy for anything other than watching TV. I mean he does nothing, his job for the day is a bath. He sits in a dark, damp shed to cut his nails. His behaviour can no longer be passed off as maybe personality. He retired at 52, 15 years ago. Strangely if he does not drink enough and eat something m8d morning i can tell by glancing at him. I really need to talk about him to someone its driving me mad now.

 

[Marysusan]

Too many people don`t know what to do with themselves when they retire @Marysusan and can easily sink into depression.

If you can`t get your husband to see the doctor, perhaps you can contact them and express your concerns. It`s what I did when I was worried about my husband.

I know it`s difficult now surgeries are not open. I once phoned my GP using my mobile when I went for a walk.

Yes people have often said depression. But i dont think so at all he is quite content, will actually say that. I myself have had depression made worse by having my husband as he is. He refused to go to drs even if they ring him last year his tibia snapped for no reason, no accident. Just too much sitting.

 

[canary]

Apathy can be a symptom of dementia too.
When OH started with problems I was told that he was just depressed, although now his problems are becoming more obvious. He too just sits all day on the sofa - in his case scrolling through his android. He has gradually lost the ability to do anything else - I have watched over the years as he has floundered with tasks that he has done for years and is no longer capable of doing. Now he can no longer even wash and dress himself without prompting about what he has to do next.
Nevertheless its important to rule out any other problems first before deciding that its dementia. I think you are going to have to get him to the doctor by stealth.

 

[Veritas]

My husband aged 67 has been retired 15 years. For some years now he just sits on sofa watching tv all day. Earlier this year his leg just snapped, osteoporosis was diagnosed he had not fallen, just sat about. He has been doing less and less for years. But fir quite some time it is clear he is no longer capable of doing anything. He can wash and shave and that is he days work. I have begged. Pleaded with him to do a job that needs doing that i cannot. I do absolutely everything, even if dangerous. Cant afford to pay someone for everything.
He will say will do it tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. His memory is terrible, he will watch a programme over and over saying not seen it. I have a struggle to get him to change trousers. Total apathy etc. How do i get him to dr

I have to say it does sound like dementia, but it could also be depression. He really needs a proper assessment, and soon. Unfortunately his generally very low level of physical activity will be making the osteoporosis worse (I assume he has been prescribed appropriate medication for this?). Perhaps the way to get him in front of the GP is to go under the osteoporosis/fracture follow-up banner, having primed the GP first so that s/he can ask some key questions. This will give you the opportunity to mention some of the things you've noticed - or to 'add to' the answers your husband gives.

I'm afraid that many of us are in the situation where we have long given up on the idea that our husbands will be able to help with household jobs, and have switched into managing for ourselves, getting someone in where there is no alternative. I have found accepting this is helpful, rather than being constantly disappointed by things not happening or (worse) having to sort out muddles.

 

[Cat27]

TP is the perfect place to talk @Marysusan.
I would contact the GP explaining exactly what’s happening & ask them to get him in for a check up.