I have never posted anything on here, but have taken great comfort from reading all sorts of things, knowing that it’s not just me going through what feels like the worst thing in the world sometimes. So just to say thank you for your posts, and thank you if you are still reading on....
My precious Dad passed away on Sunday after his brave two-year fight with Myeloma. He had become very confused, now I think due to the myeloma, yet all of the health care professionals were convinced he had dementia. We had an appointment at the memory clinic next week.... That is another story which isn’t sitting quite right with me - I have started to feel that everyone is assumed to have dementia if they exhibit some form of cognitive impairment - yet there’s lots of other causes.
Anyway.... My Mum is now living alone and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s (early stage) in November 2019. Before and during Dad’s illness Dad definitely covered for Mum. During the last 6 months Mum was reacting in the moment to the day to day things that were happening, and as Dad could do less, Mum had to do more but her way was very impatient with him sadly, and it feels as though Mum has become quite self-centred.
I’m staying with Mum but I’m finding it hard to process my own grief and I’m getting quite frustrated because she has become very quiet and keeps repeating a very limited number of stories about her childhood in great depth yet doesn’t seem very interested in anything else. I think my Dad had the patience of a saint!
I’ve tried to get mum to talk about how she feels - she says nothing more than she can’t believe it and that she doesn’t want to be on her own and asking what has she done to deserve this. When I suggest alternatives/ways to be involved with friends/family in a positive manner she says she will just have to put up with being alone, doesn’t want to impose on people in couples. She says there’s nothing wrong with her when I suggest a support call etc from a charity, so I genuinely don’t think she thinks she is diagnosed. Should I remind her??? I have suggested little tasks each day this week, but she’s not done any of them without me being there and pretty much getting the task going and saying we need to do something.
Any ideas welcomed - I’m struggling and wondering what’s going to start to happen when I step away again, which I need to do (I’m 200 miles away, but my brother with Mum’s grandchildren is 6 miles away).... I’m worried this shock and stress might progress Mum’s illness - does that actually happen?
Sorry there’s a lot of different things there but some coping strategies would be very well received please
Thanks
My precious Dad passed away on Sunday after his brave two-year fight with Myeloma. He had become very confused, now I think due to the myeloma, yet all of the health care professionals were convinced he had dementia. We had an appointment at the memory clinic next week.... That is another story which isn’t sitting quite right with me - I have started to feel that everyone is assumed to have dementia if they exhibit some form of cognitive impairment - yet there’s lots of other causes.
Anyway.... My Mum is now living alone and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s (early stage) in November 2019. Before and during Dad’s illness Dad definitely covered for Mum. During the last 6 months Mum was reacting in the moment to the day to day things that were happening, and as Dad could do less, Mum had to do more but her way was very impatient with him sadly, and it feels as though Mum has become quite self-centred.
I’m staying with Mum but I’m finding it hard to process my own grief and I’m getting quite frustrated because she has become very quiet and keeps repeating a very limited number of stories about her childhood in great depth yet doesn’t seem very interested in anything else. I think my Dad had the patience of a saint!
I’ve tried to get mum to talk about how she feels - she says nothing more than she can’t believe it and that she doesn’t want to be on her own and asking what has she done to deserve this. When I suggest alternatives/ways to be involved with friends/family in a positive manner she says she will just have to put up with being alone, doesn’t want to impose on people in couples. She says there’s nothing wrong with her when I suggest a support call etc from a charity, so I genuinely don’t think she thinks she is diagnosed. Should I remind her??? I have suggested little tasks each day this week, but she’s not done any of them without me being there and pretty much getting the task going and saying we need to do something.
Any ideas welcomed - I’m struggling and wondering what’s going to start to happen when I step away again, which I need to do (I’m 200 miles away, but my brother with Mum’s grandchildren is 6 miles away).... I’m worried this shock and stress might progress Mum’s illness - does that actually happen?
Sorry there’s a lot of different things there but some coping strategies would be very well received please
Thanks
