Does anyone else find their lives have now been totally taken over by being a carer thankfully we can go to bed at 7.30 and he sleeps all night but getting up earlier and getting dressed. Won't have carers yet nobody allowed in bathroom just had urine infection so is he getting washed also makes confusion worse.sorry to moan new member what do u do.
Support
- Thread starter Nandi
- Start date
Hi @Nandi ,
my husband is still independent, can dress, wash, drive locally..
But his memory is poor, his reasoning even poorer.
He relies on me for anything. I spend most of my day looking for things he can't find , answering the same questions , trying to explain to him what he will never understand ( my fault, I know I should give up).
He is also clingy..nearly impossible to go to the supermarket on my own.
We have been living in the country since he retired. Not a soul to have a chat with.
Despite him being still quite independent I have become a full time carer.
We sleep in separate rooms (mine is downstairs, his is upstairs), so I am not on duty at night.
Everyone seems to be looking forward to longer spring and summer days. I dread to think of those nights coming so late to set me free.
What do you do ? You ask.
Nothing at the moment. I'm waiting for the moment when his dementia is more advanced and I can make decisions to safeguard both of us
my husband is still independent, can dress, wash, drive locally..
But his memory is poor, his reasoning even poorer.
He relies on me for anything. I spend most of my day looking for things he can't find , answering the same questions , trying to explain to him what he will never understand ( my fault, I know I should give up).
He is also clingy..nearly impossible to go to the supermarket on my own.
We have been living in the country since he retired. Not a soul to have a chat with.
Despite him being still quite independent I have become a full time carer.
We sleep in separate rooms (mine is downstairs, his is upstairs), so I am not on duty at night.
Everyone seems to be looking forward to longer spring and summer days. I dread to think of those nights coming so late to set me free.
What do you do ? You ask.
Nothing at the moment. I'm waiting for the moment when his dementia is more advanced and I can make decisions to safeguard both of us
@Nandi this is the very place to vent your feelings. My husband has declined rapidly in a short time and is very dependent for memory things although he can look after himself otherwise. My situation is very similar to @margherita but it is the normal companionship that I miss. That’s gone and it’s like living with a new person. I feel totally deprived of my previous life. I just carry on at the moment and make the best of it. Vent away because it makes you feel better.
A new person who has retained all the characteristics I didn't like in the old person , while the ones I appreciated have disappeared.
@margherita absolutely the truth. I have had a nightmare evening and it had to happen after about 10 days of calm. I dread coming home when I do get out these days especially because when he has a good phase I hope. A big mistake.
My husband is probably better off than most of the PWD that people on TP care for but like many older people he does have other health issues that must be dealt with along with the Alzheimer's.
In the last four years, he has had a cardiac arrest, prostate surgery, two hernia repairs, two major nose bleeds that both required hospitalisation and an internal bleed. Now he has cellulitis and has required three visits to the doctor in under a week.
So yes, caring does take over your life and resolving this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I think everybody's situation is different but I do know that having a little time to yourself is very important. I also think you need to remember that any care and respite you get is for your benefit too, and you may have to take stand with your person with dementia. Needs and wants are very different things and sometimes you are going to have be the bossy one and be insistent.
I am sure someone else will have good advice but I just wanted to say that we all understand where you are coming from.
In the last four years, he has had a cardiac arrest, prostate surgery, two hernia repairs, two major nose bleeds that both required hospitalisation and an internal bleed. Now he has cellulitis and has required three visits to the doctor in under a week.
So yes, caring does take over your life and resolving this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I think everybody's situation is different but I do know that having a little time to yourself is very important. I also think you need to remember that any care and respite you get is for your benefit too, and you may have to take stand with your person with dementia. Needs and wants are very different things and sometimes you are going to have be the bossy one and be insistent.
I am sure someone else will have good advice but I just wanted to say that we all understand where you are coming from.
