Hi liz, just from my own experience, if the state are now involved, you should have access to a social worker or a CPN, if not, ask for one.They are your first link to an appropriate care package for your Mum. You need to discuss with them and the rest of your Mum's care team, (by that I mean GP, Specialist who made diagnoses, hospital etc), how to arrange a package that caters for your Mum's needs.
When you discuss this, it is important that you dwell more on the downs than the ups, that way you will be covered on a bad day with any luck. If the team feel that your Mum is capable of living alone, it is up to them, (with you pointing out the problems faced) to organise a care plan that fits her needs.
This package could include help at home with dressing, undressing, personal hygene, meals etc. It may also include day centres and respite weeks.
You will need to say how much commitment you can give to this and how much help you will need for the times you cannot be with her.
From these inputs, they can then work out how best to help.
Having said that, the help they say you need is not always the help you get!!
If your Mum is self financing, you are more likely to get what is required as you (she) will foot the bill. If not, it will be what the local council can afford I am afraid. It is an awful situation, but one that you need to get to grips with. If you have a Crossroads or an Alz. Soc. in your area, they may be able to help. Some of this is paid for and some will be free or subsidised, depending on what is available and your Mum needs. My Mum went to a Crossroads day care centre on Mondays, cost her just the lunch, about £3. A council run day centre would be much more than this. For a few weeks, she also went to an Alz. Soc. Saturday club, cost £2.50, sadly this folded through lack of use, I cannot understand why it was not used, it was wonderful, safe and almost one to one, what more could you ask? If this sort of package is set up, it will give you a breathing space. Sadly, your Mum's needs will be more as the illness progresses. You need to think long and hard about what you will need to do when she can no longer live alone. What ever you decide, we will be there every step of the way, non judgemental and hopefully of help. Thinking of you, love She. XX
