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Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Jul 20, 2010.
thinking of past times and wishing you well
Thinking of John and you,take care Marian xx
I've just got home from Bournmouth and popped on the Computer for a quick look to see your news. I'm so very sorry that John is so poorly and can only send you my love and a big hug. It is a truely hard time for you both and I hope that John and yourself continue to be treated with kindness and understanding.
All my love TinaT
Very concerned for you, Hazel. If you catch a moment to drop by TP, just wanted you to know you are constantly in my thoughts,
Love, Karen, x
Echo what Karen has said,thinking of you,take care Marian xx
Thinking of you both
Just a line to say that I am thinking of you both.
You have been such a great support to me when I was looking after Dad (John). My John and your John seemed to have gone through so much of the same.
Keep strong and know that all your "virtual friends" on TP are thinking of you
Love to you both
I am relatively new to this forum but you are surely blessed by all the wonderful heart felt messages I have read tonight. I can only offer my deepest commiseration and prayers for John.
Love Jancis xxx
Thank you for all your lovely messages of support. I’m sorry I haven’t replied sooner, but as Karen put it, I have been camped out at the hospital all week.
My lovely John left me this morning. No, he didn’t leave me; his body is now an empty shell, but no-one can take the real John from me, he is in my heart for ever.
John was too strong for his own good, and the projected 48 hours stretched and stretched. But he was so patient, so dignified, never a murmur of complaint, only the ineffable sadness in his eyes.
I spent some of my time during the long nights writing his eulogy, and a poem for him. Does that seem strange, writing a eulogy while he was still alive? But I had the need to write about John, and that was the form it took. But the eulogy is for elsewhere. This is a paean of praise for our glorious NHS. I’ve complained about them so often, but I can’t praise too highly the palliative care we both received.
John had a private en suite room, and so did I, just along the corridor from him, as well as a fully reclining chair in John’s room. The nurses did everything possible to keep John comfortable, even bringing in a consultant from the cancer unit to monitor his cocktail of drugs. He was suctioned and turned regularly, and checked for pressure marks. Every single nurse was kindness itself to us both.
I had clean sheets, towels and nightie in my room every night, and toiletries supplied I could lie down whenever I needed, knowing I was within call. Tea and coffee on tap, and meals from the food trolley or from the staff canteen. We could not have had better treatment if we had been paying for it. I even had a dispensation to use my mobile phone, and a nurse came and checked John’s syringe driver every time I had used it.
Death from pneumonia is far from an easy option, but they made it as pain-free as possible for us both. Naturally I shall be writing to the Director of Nursing. I do realise that this might not be possible in a busy city hospital, or even at busy times here, but I do hope this sort of care will become more widespread.
Thank you all once again for your wonderful support. I will update John’s thread, and will post his poem when I am satisfied with it.
Love to all,
Dear, dear Hazel, I don't know what to say, except I am thinking of you xxx
thoughts and prayers are with you xxxxxx
I am so very sorry Hazel - my thoughts are with you.
Dear dear Hazel,
I was so sorry to read your post and am sitting here in tears. But so glad that you were both so very well looked after at the hospital and that everything possible was done to keep your dear John comfortable.
Thinking of you and sending lots and lots of love and a huge hug.
Love, Nan XXX
So sorry to hear of John's passing. So nice to see that you were both looked after and that you were both given all the care and attention that was needed.
Please accept my sincere condolences.
I am sorry to hear your news Hazel.
hazel thinking of you at this sad time milly
Hello Hazel, we are all so so sorry to hear your sad news and everybody in my family sends their condolances. be strong my good friend, praying for you and your family tonight, goodnight Godbless, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
Please accept my condolences.
You are in my thoughts.
How absolutely fitting that someone who has done so much to champion improvements in care should meet with this standard at the time you and John needed it most.
Expecting this sad news for the last few days, I have been pondering what words could possibly give you any comfort, Hazel, after yours and John’s journey and have reflected on how John’s legacy will live on – through your work and efforts – to bring improvements about. In that sense he will continue, always, to touch many more lives than just those of us who have been privileged to learn of his journey here.
Thank you to both of you for your inspiration and example.
You have, of course, my deepest condolences at this time.
Much love, Karen, x
Please accept my very sincere condolences. Somehow it seems the end of an era.
I`m so glad you and John were treated so well.
I am so sorry to hear your news, I feel as if I have lost one of my own family.
It`s good that you were both looked after so well.
Take your time now and look after your self this next few weeks and you know where we are when you need us.
Much love Roseann xx