Superwoman has left the building

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Margaret79, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    MIL returned from a week’s respite on Wednesday and I have struggled with her return ever since. It’s not as though she’s been too bad more that she is in the back of my mind all the time and I’m finding it very draining at the moment.

    Physically my fibromyalgia is not good and I’m taking morphine for the pain and am exhausted most of the time.

    I feel drained emotionally, my two children’s step sister was killed crossing the road last week, knocked into the path of an oncoming car by an uninsured mini cab driver. My daughter is not coping well but is unable to talk to me, she has finally texted after a week of me texting and calling. My son on the other hand has been communicating and it’s so hard to listen to him, he is being extraordinarily strong in supporting the family but is struggling himself and is very tired. I’m glad that he went home yesterday for a few days with his wife and daughter to recharge his batteries. I just want to make it all better for them and I can’t.

    Respite is great whilst it's happening but getting used to her returning is not so great.
     
  2. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,491
    Female
    Near Southampton
    O Margaret, you are having to be all things to everyone at the moment and I can imagine how difficult that must be.
    Trying to care for your MIL whilst at the same time time trying to support your son and daughter after such a dreadful tragedy must be so draining. What a very sad thing to have happened.
    I can well see how the demands and difficulties connected to your MIL can become a step too far when you are under such a strain.

    Try to find a little time time to unwind somehow. I suppose there's no chance of an extra week of respite from somewhere or someone is there?

    I'm glad your daughter has made contact. You must have been so worried.
    love and sympathy. xxx
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,772
    Female
    Dundee
    How awful Margaret. What a dreadful tragedy. I'm so sorry to read of it. Wishing you much strength to care for yourself as well as others. x
     
  4. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,161
    Dear Superwoman - you are officially allowed to be human. But may I ask - if you're on morphine yourself, is it time to consider alternative care arrangements for your MIL?
     
  5. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    Thanks Saffie, Izzy and RedLou.

    She's going into respite again in April and Dave & I are going away together for the first time in 5 years. We're taking a boat on the Norfolk Broads. So something to look forward to. Before then I'm going to Launde Abbey at the beginning of April on a meditation course run by a friend.

    RedLou I do understand what you're saying and it has crossed my mind more than once that maybe we should be thinking of alternative arrangements for MIL. Trouble is my illness comes and goes so during the flare ups things look bleak and at other times it works well.

    This is a tough time at the moment and I have difficulty putting myself first, I guess that's my lesson to learn from all this!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.