1. jackie39

    jackie39 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2005
    My mum has AD tonights episode of 'sundowning' was the worst yet. She actually got out of the door and 'ran' up the street. Nothing we could say or do could calm her down. She fell in the street and was shouting at us to leave her alone. She was really frightening.

    The main problem we have is that she used to live with me 3 years ago before she moved into the sheltered housing she lives in now and she still thinks she lives with me - so wants to come back here. When she got here she looked around for her bed - and even though she couldn't find it she was still sure she lived here. My niece eventually talked her into going home - but she still wasn't sure. She wouldn't look at me or talk to me as she said I'm trying to get rid of her - she even says I'm trying to drug her. Its so very hard seeing mum like this I feel so useless and at a loss at what to do.

    Jackie :(
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Jackie

    sundowning is awful, isn't it? There is so little one can do once it starts, but grit one's teeth, keep them as safe as possible, and wait for it to pass, which can take several hours.

    I would just walk alongside Jan [she never tried to run, just walked fast] and talk to her all the way up the drive, then at the road, I would suggest we had a cup of tea, so we could walk back again. Sometimes it worked, often it didn't.

    That was in the days before I would use medication, lock the doors, etc.

    In reality, there is not much you can do. But remember, it is not your Mum doing all this and saying the hurtful things; it is the dementia.
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    West Sussex
    Dear Jackie, my Mum used to do that regularly too. She wouldn't let me walk with her, so I used to trail along behind. She used to get puffed out and sit on a wall etc, then I would catch her up and ask her if she would like to come back now for a cup of tea etc. It usually worked. It is awful if they are rushing about, trouble is, they can't see the danger of falling till they do so your heart's in your mouth isn't it? I do hope things settle a bit for you soon. Do you think perhaps your Mum is beginning to be unsafe living alone? My Mum got lost in the town a few times before she gave up her flat, my Mum in Law is now starting to do some silly things so I think we will soon be having similar problems there too. It's a very difficult stage to cope with, thinking of you. Love She. XX
  4. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    Hi Jackie

    I still remember clearly the dark and drizzly night when I had a call from my poor Mum - in tears - telling me Dad had gotten out and she had tried everything to keep him in. We live in the country though there are a few houses about and when I got there he had done a tour of our paddock and was setting out up the driveway. I went with him! Wearing only his pyjamas, slippers and a short jacket ( I wasn't much better prepared)he set off with great gusto with me muttering all sorts of distraction tactics. He told me some people were mad (I did at this point suggest "some people" might think we were a bit daft if they saw us) trying to stop him going (to work/home????). This was 3.30am in the morning, a really dark night, me, him, and the dog who that time proved to be my trump card in the distraction stakes.

    We managed the about turn thanks to the dog - I think Dad actually lost his sense of direction and when almost home my husband arrived in the car to give us a very welcome lift. Dad at this point could barely put one foot in front of the other and was staggering forward but would not take my arm.

    When we got through the door he slumped in the chair and slept solidly till morning. We were all convinced that pneumonia would follow! He appeared to have no recollection of the nights events.

    The pattern was the same really for all of his expeditions though thankfully this was the farthest he got in the middle of the night. Once his mind was made up it could not be changed. In his world he was being logical and sensible and everyone else was "mad".

    For us - and for most that I have heard from - the only way was to go with him and be prepared to pick him up or guide him home when the time was right.

    Keep your coat/shoes/torch (wish we had had that one!) by the door and a mobile phone in your pocket and try to keep a calm exterior even if inside you are doing the paddling duck routine.

  5. jackie39

    jackie39 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2005
    Well after the episode last night mums been really quiet tonight and quite settled. We spoke to hospital today and they advised that we got the GP out to see mum as they advise may be trying to give her a little sedative to calm her down when she gets aggresive. He's coming tomorrow afternoon so I'll expect fun and games then :rolleyes:

    Its good to know that so many people are going thru the same thing and its not just us - I felt lost before I found this and its nice to know you're all out there with valuable advice.

    Thanks :D

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