1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Sundowning or moonlighting

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Stimpfig, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    #1 Stimpfig, Jan 13, 2006
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2006
    Mum has been very active the last few hours. She is delivering someone's baby. :eek:
    As I write, she's moving around with a sense of urgency. Taps have been turned on. :mad: Blankets from several places have been collected.
    She's pulled down the suitcases from top of cupboards to get something out - she's upset that she can't. :rolleyes: She's ignored my kind advice . She is making hot water (I have switched off the electric cooker mains - she's blissfully unaware :D ). She's knocking at the window to speak to someone. :eek: I have given up running behind her - am suffering from cough and am exhausted. She's agitated. Something is not quite right with the delivery process. :( She's gone to sit in front of the mirror to talk to her 'grandfather' and explain things. I have been following her for fear that she might cause a fire or flood the house or wake up the neighbours. :( She asks me if she can get the baby and that I shouldn't 'shout' at her. I agree and even smile. She's back now. The baby is born. Girl or Boy ? It's a girl ! :) After 4 hours of this drama and agitation , she's now 'relaxed' . It's 22:24 in Germany. She will talk to grandpa or whoever late into the night just while I sit before the computer and talk to TP members

    She has her compulsions, I have mine !


    Oh God! I thought it was over. 11 p.m. and she's back again, agitated, saying it's imperative I nurse the baby :eek:
     
  2. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Sue, congratulations! Seriously, I hope you get some sleep tonight. :)
     
  3. jks

    jks Registered User

    Jul 2, 2005
    67
    West Yorkshire
    *imagines Sue typing one-handed, the other hand clutching imaginary baby to breast*

    Sue, your post has really made me chuckle, I hope you don't mind.

    Best wishes to you and your Mum.
     
  4. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Oh Sue, if we didn't laugh we would cry! Sometimes this darn disease is a bit like try to knit fog! :confused: Hope you get a good night's sleep
     
  5. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,989
    Toronto, Canada
    I had to chuckle also. Sometimes it's a case of either laughing or crying, isn't it? Have you considered getting her a doll? They have dolls in my mother's home & a few of the old girls really respond well.

    At least you wouldn't have to go through labour & delivery again. Breastfeeding might be more problematical. How about those dolls you can give a bottle to? or are they still around? Probably not....showing my age again.

    Joanne
     
  6. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Getting a doll

    Hi again

    No, I don't mind you chuckling at all. I was trying to look at the brighter side of life myself under the circumstances :)

    Cdn Joanne : You have just voiced my thoughts about getting her a doll. Mum goes to a 'gathering' every week where they have been placing such a doll in front of her when she's most restless. However, at home, I did give her some cuddly toys and this is what she does: She has been quite pre-occupied with this baby ever since the delivery. I did give her a large pillow and then a soft cuddly toy (baby) but then everytime I give her something to drink or eat, she goes to the baby and 'feeds' it which means pouring water or juice or milk onto the baby and the bed and the floor resulting in a mess for me to clean up. Even if I pretend to give everything to the baby first, she still does it. I am hoping desperately, she isn't planning to give the baby a bath :eek:

    But on a positive note, these are really trivial problems considering what can happen, and never failing to count my blessings, I am grateful for that.
     
  7. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    618
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    I was looking for one of those cuddly toy dogs that actually appear to breath or have a heart beat or something like that- Not for me but for Monique! - her birthday coming up soon... Any idea if they exist and if so where can I get one?
    Thanks
    Michael
     
  8. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Sue

    There are dolls which you can feed, but unfortunately they also laugh, cry and fill their nappies!!

    Bad enough when a 6 year old has one, I dread to think how you would fare if your Mum had one too, bless her, you could take out the batteries but might then be accused of murder, perish the thought.

    I wondered if this current episode has been started by a memory your Mum has of something that has actually happened in her past, if so there could be methods of coping with it to help you both out. Just a thought.

    Keep smiling through those gritted teeth!

    Kathleen
     
  9. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Sue - If you pursue the idea of a doll you might want to read the thread I started because they had just been introduced at my Dad's home:

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/TalkingPoint/Discuss/showthread.php?t=1986&highlight=dolls

    Michael - What a brilliant idea for Monique's birthday. There is a cuddly toy with a heartbeat that is made for "puppies and adult dogs who want comfort while they are alone", called "SnugglePuppies". There are also breathing toy puppies called "Perfect Petzzz". They have these on ebay.
     
  10. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    #10 Stimpfig, Jan 15, 2006
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2006
    Dear Hazel

    Thank you for that excellent reference and link. I quickly went through the thread you initiated on the dolls and have also quickly scanned through the articles in the links you have provided. Very interesting and thought provoking .

    Thank you Kathleen. I shall scout for some suitable dolls to represent all the different people mum keeps talking to and see what happens.

    Must add here that the neighbour's 5 month old Labrador sometimes visits us and
    sits in front of mum. There are times when mum sees it as a dog and times when she speaks to it addressing her as Grandpa. The Labrador doesn't mind at all :D

    Warmly
     
  11. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Michael,

    Re: the realistic dog toy question, the one brand that I have some experience of is called "Fur Real Friends". My daughter (who is almost 10) got a bear doll of this make for Christmas 2004. The toy was well made and I think the programming has got even more sophisticated since then. The only problem is that the inner structure (it's metal 'bones') can be felt through the fur - so it's not as cuddly as a soft toy.

    They do dog and puppy versions (example: http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Product.aspx/TruHome/TruToys/TruToysSoft/TruToysSoftFurReal/125148 ) and they can probably be bought from online toy stores or on ebay.

    Have you also considered a real pet, albeit a low maintenance one? Depends on what types of animals you like, but they can be a real source of amusement and stress relief in the right circumstances.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  12. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Sue,
    I know there are play baby bottles that have liquid in them so as to appear to be full, but nothing comes out.....perfect for her to feed her baby without making a mess.
    I'm just curious, was your Mom a nurse at one time? I have read that they often do odd things like this to resolve old issues in their earlier life.
    Debboe
     
  13. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,989
    Toronto, Canada
    Sue,
    I was thinking about your mum pouring water or milk or whatever on the baby. What about getting a big plastic container that will hold the "baby" & stand in as a crib. Or cot, as the English say. Just tell her it's the baby's bed & hopefully, if she decides to "feed" the baby, her aim will be good & the water/milk/whatever will be contained.

    Get quite a big one!!
     

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