Lesley this is a very difficult time for you and your Mum. Has your Mum sought advice from the Alzheimer's association about how to deal with this question? She does not have to lie but should avoid contradicting anything that your Dad says. If there is a belief that his Mum and Dad are alive (which is very common) distract him with positive conversation about his parents, what kind of car did they drive, what was the house like that they lived in? Your Dad is thinking about his parents so get him to talk about them. Have a look on line for tips on how to manage BPSD (Behavioural and Psychological Symptoms of Dementia (such as sundowning) Amazing results can be had through simple strategies. You and your Mum know your Dad best and will have all the information to problems solve his sundowning behaviour. It's a cruel illness I've been where you are and my heart hurts for you. xHi
I posted recently about obessional worries and have leant a lot about sundowning very quickly.....
Mum having an awful time with Dad in afternoon/evening and the trigger is always - are my mum and dad alive/dead? I have suggested to Mum afer consulting this forum that she stalls and says they are and they will maybe see them when the weather is better but she says she can't tell him a direct lie and what if he remembers and knows she has been lieing to him? Yesterday was horrible. The dementia nurse came on Friday and is going to see about changing his medication but I don't know how we will get through the next few days.
I live 50 minutes drive away and was working full time but was signed off due to stress etc on Thursday. I went over to see them Friday and Saturday - I usually stay about 3-4 hours or so. I am drowning in guilt because I feel I should stay there with then overnight (I am single, no children) but I cannot bear it. But increasingly I cannot bear my thoughts back in my own home, hardly any sleep last night. I am breaking up and how can I help my mum if I do that? And what do I have to bear compared to what she is bearing? I feel that I am such a coward.
I was on this forum for hours last night and it helped so much to feel a part of all your struggles. I just had to talk to someone this morning.