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Sundowning and Carers

Jobie

New member
Nov 1, 2021
6
0
Hello I wonder if anyone has any experience of this but my mum‘s sundowning is becoming worse and her husband feels he can’t cope with her any longer at home. He thinks a care home is the only option but as they do not currently have any help at home am wondering whether carers in the evening might help as a distraction and also to prepare the evening meal. He does all of this at the moment (he’s 91) and although he is exhausted he’s so far refused any help. I am also going to contact the GP to see if he can prescribe any medication for the sundowning. Many thanks
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,342
0
Kent
Hello @Jobie

I think it`s best to listen to your mum`s husband.

Whatever care is arranged for your mum at home her husband will still have many hours in the day and night to look after her and at his age it is a tall order.

There is no guarantee agency carers can handle sundowning more successfully than anyone else. It is an uncontrolled behaviour and there`s no way of saying how it can be modified.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
900
0
There is medication that can help with sundowning. However, it will not solve the problem. Most carers will not work beyond about 8pm and so your mother's husband will have the rest of the evening to cope with your mother. He is your mother's primary carer, and very elderly, and if he feels that he can't cope any more then I think that you should accept that.
 

Libbybookworm

Registered User
Apr 6, 2018
98
0
Listen to your mum's husband. He cannot cope any more; he's 91, I'm struggling to cope at 75. He's having to deal with this 24/7; a carer for a few hours in the evening is not going to help and he'll have to manage the fallout once they've gone.
 

Jobie

New member
Nov 1, 2021
6
0
Hello @Jobie

I think it`s best to listen to your mum`s husband.

Whatever care is arranged for your mum at home her husband will still have many hours in the day and night to look after her and at his age it is a tall order.

There is no guarantee agency carers can handle sundowning more successfully than anyone else. It is an uncontrolled behaviour and there`s no way of saying how it can be modified.
Thank you so much for your response. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best.
 

Jobie

New member
Nov 1, 2021
6
0
Listen to your mum's husband. He cannot cope any more; he's 91, I'm struggling to cope at 75. He's having to deal with this 24/7; a carer for a few hours in the evening is not going to help and he'll have to manage the fallout once they've gone.
Thank you so much for your response and For sharing your experience. It helps so much to put everything in perspective. I think I was just worried that she would be going into a care home prematurely but clearly that’s not the case
 

Jobie

New member
Nov 1, 2021
6
0
Listen to your mum's husband. He cannot cope any more; he's 91, I'm struggling to cope at 75. He's having to deal with this 24/7; a carer for a few hours in the evening is not going to help and he'll have to manage the fallout once they've gone.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. It helps so much to put it in perspective as I feel I am so out of my depth. I was worried that she would be going into care prematurely as there doesn’t seem to be anyone to offer guidance on this.
There is medication that can help with sundowning. However, it will not solve the problem. Most carers will not work beyond about 8pm and so your mother's husband will have the rest of the evening to cope with your mother. He is your mother's primary carer, and very elderly, and if he feels that he can't cope any more then I think that you should accept that.
Thank you so much for your response and helping me get some insight and perspective
 

Libbybookworm

Registered User
Apr 6, 2018
98
0
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. It helps so much to put it in perspective as I feel I am so out of my depth. I was worried that she would be going into care prematurely as there doesn’t seem to be anyone to offer guidance on this.

Thank you so much for your response and helping me get some insight and perspective
Thank you for listening @Jobie. I hope you get the appropriate care for your mum very soon 🤗
 

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