1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    Today I visited my OH. He has fronto temporal dementia and has been in a home now for 1 year and 3 weeks. He has NEVER settled and even after a drug change he harangued me so much today about getting home, and threatened suicide. His last words to me today we're "It's been nice knowing you" - after 44 years of marriage, 36 of which were very happy before this disease began to take hold. I feel so sad but can't even cry.
     
  2. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,592
    Yorkshire
    I'm so sorry. That is something that is so difficult to hear.

    Did you discuss this with the management? He should be in a safe environment in the CH but perhaps they need to be extra vigilant during this difficult time.
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,217
    Merseyside
    Oh how awful for you.
    As Chemmy says lets the staff know what he said to you.
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,558
    Female
    South coast
    This is not unknown with FTD
    Make sure the staff take his threats seriously
    ((((hugs))))))
     
  5. Jean1234

    Jean1234 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2015
    254
    I feel so much for you. I can't imagine how you felt. Sending a great big cyber hug to you.x
     
  6. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    Hi Chemmy, Izzy has pointed out that I pressed report post instead of reply. So sorry and thank you for your reply. Note to self - wear glasses!
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    Ha!:D
     
  8. Zana

    Zana Registered User

    May 12, 2016
    185
    Has he done this before?

    You mention he has never settled and there has been a drug change so maybe this is his way of getting you to take notice of how utterly fed up he is.

    I would want a meeting with his care team PDQ to sort the problem out.
     
  9. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    My husband has mentioned ending it all several times. He would never have thought such things before Dementia, and he wouldn't know what to do now. It seems to me it's simply another way of saying he wants it all to just GO AWAY.
     
  10. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    Hi Zana. Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately he has threatened this several times, but we've had several care meetings and at the one before Christmas we discover he was still on Donepezil. He should have been off it before he went into the home. Unfortunately someone forgot to get it deleted from his prescription list. Anyway he's been off that since November and has started on a new drug designed to decrease his agitation. I can't remember the name. On Sunday he was great and I thought we were turning a corner but on Tuesday his mood was foul and I didn't stay long. His last words to me were "It's been nice knowing you."
     

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