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Suggestions with moving into a care hone

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by Lookingafter, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. Lookingafter

    Lookingafter Registered User

    Aug 21, 2019
    Well what can I say! Nearly two weeks down the line and MIL is holding a ‘conversation’ with me. FIL is washed ‘all over’ and had lunch in the lounge and chatted to other residents! Food intake has improved slightly so has drinking. The staff seem really great too.

    This community has been a real help.

    Now have issues with ‘other family members’ and their views around sodding everything! Solicitors booked for next week. Think I’ll leave this one till next time. I’m exhausted.
  2. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    Very good result - well done on persisting with it, you know they are safe and cared for, and they even seem to be content too. You can't ask for more than that.
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Thats good progress - and in only two weeks too!
    You will probably see some further improvement as he settles some more
  4. Pete1

    Pete1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2019
    Hi @Lookingafter a positive update - good to hear! It often takes a while for all to adjust to the new situation. All the best, take care of yourself.
  5. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    With reluctant feeders, my Mum's care home the carers often clearly state "Here's your dinner" or "lovely salmon today" and even in some cases "Look, I made this specially for you" - a bit sneaky but it does work.
    Sometimes a coloured plate - one colour, different to the food, to make it stand out, helps those with visual issues
  6. Lookingafter

    Lookingafter Registered User

    Aug 21, 2019
    I know we are still under the original heading but it’s good to keep my trail going. Keeps me sane. Don’t like airing my washing so to speak but desperately need advice.

    Looking for reassurance on my next issue as I am totally beside myself. So the emotional ride so far has been bad enough but.. MIL’s sister has now found out that MIL and FIL are in the care home. She’s already rang the CH and ripped into them saying she is her next of kin and decisions needed to go through her,
    Plus it was her house!!! This is from a woman who pops in their home when she can. I used to go 3 times a week. (Plus everything on top of this - you all Know where I’m coming from here).

    She rang me the day after and had a nice little chat about it being closer to her and didn’t feel that FIL was too bad for CH. It seemed OK.

    Then found out she visited today and tried so that the CH wouldn’t let me visit. (Don’t forget I’ve arranged everything in the last 7 years - and I’m going to say it with discussions with their grandchildren forgetting about any inheritance!l they may of had - I’m the executor but won’t stand to inherit nothing by the way) - For all I know she’s told him he’s paying for all this and can go back home soon.

    My god, like I’ve got nothing else to deal with. She’s always been like this even 5 years ago she refused to let me bring them closer to me and their grandchildren (to a bungalow) to look after.

    I’m seeing a solicitor next week to ascertain deeds of the house. Pretty sure it’s FIL. I hold POA (F&P) for both MIL and FIL but not Welfare. Is it worth asking the solicitor to help me set this one up.

    I’m trying to look after their remaining quality of life and have done a good job I think so far but I so worried it will all be ripped from under my feet. I am a natural worrier and my family are getting a little tired of my voice. (In a nice way because they are both my ex-in laws).

    Is there a worst case scenario I haven’t thought of or am I worrying too much.

    Thanks you so much for listening. x

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