Suggestions welcome (hi, I'm a new to talkingpoint)

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by zoeyrox, Aug 24, 2015.

  1. zoeyrox

    zoeyrox Registered User

    Aug 24, 2015
    1
    My mum has alzheimers and still living with dad who is finding it extremely difficult to say the least. I was over trying to help them and got the Dr's to assess mum and sought advice from other professionals then tried to put everything in place before I had to return overseas. I have a brother who helps heaps nearby. Mum won't accept any help - "she's managing fine" - she gets extremely angry when this is brought up and wants to chop her head off - then she calms down again when subject changed. Dad has a nurse come in twice a day as he has diabetes to give him injections, he would love help to clean the house and so that he can have clean clothes. Mum won't let him change his shirts as she says "clean on today" and likewise for her clothing. Anyone any suggestions or in similar situation please.
     
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,662
    Salford
    Hi Zoeyrox, welcome to TP
    You need to contact Social Services and ask for an assessment. There may be help available but also it puts them on the SS radar so if circumstances change they are aware of them, if a crisis arises then it's much easier when the SS are aware of them.
    The clothes one is difficult but couldn't your dad hide the that days clothes at night so in the morning she's forced to put clean ones on.
    K
     
  3. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    Suggestions welcome

    Hi welcome to talking point i' m sure you will find it a very helpful place to be now you know it's here.

    In respect of the clothes how about your Dad 'accidentky' tips a cup of tea on them, obviously not a hot one and then there will be something for her see that they do need changing. Why can't he put his clothes in the wash and get his things clean if she is happy with how things are? Maybe seeing him in clean clothes would encourage her to change too.

    I agree an assessment is what's needed but completely understand how hard it is when parents are convinced they are coping, I have the same problem as do many others on here.

    I would presume but I may be wrong your mum also not washing herself and may have forgotten how to. I know of someone who accidentky squirted his wife with the hose to insist she changed into dry clean clothes. It's amazing how inventive you become with these problems. I wish you luck.
     

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