I am sorry to hear that you did not get more time to spend with your Mum @jennifer1967. 57 is certainly no age. ?
theres a lot of changes going on but the hairdresser might give her a boost with a bit of pampering. thank goodness isolation has now ended. that was cruel for that long.Thank you @Grannie G. I know she has a ‘meds’ review with the mental health team tomorrow.
It will be ‘interesting’ as it is booked in for late afternoon when Mum is not good anyway. This is also combined with Mum moving out of the quarantine wing after 8 weeks to go back to the dementia floor via the on site hairdresser (first time in 5 months) so that will probably add to her confusion. At least with the essential visits I can see what is happening and the senior nurse will have a chat with me on Thursday when I go in.
I was told by the staff yesterday that she was well pleased with the haircut but was not impressed with being moved.theres a lot of changes going on but the hairdresser might give her a boost with a bit of pampering. thank goodness isolation has now ended. that was cruel for that long.
sounds like a nice visit in the end. i used to collect up residents clothes and repair them. they cant wear them if they are damaged. would help if they told you. we used to have a tick list for hand over so it wasnt time consuming but the information could be passed on and behaviour could be monitored. the owner loved paperwork as evidence. soft toys and unbreakables are probably the way to go. i remember getting hit with a walking stick a few times, they are lethal!!I was told by the staff yesterday that she was well pleased with the haircut but was not impressed with being moved.
I went to see Mum today and walked in to be greeted by Mrs Angry. She told me that the children had stolen £800 from her bag. I told her that we had taken it to the bank yesterday so it was all safe. To which I got the reply ‘so how am I going to get down to the bank to get my money out’. I said we can walk down there tomorrow but it’s too wet today (fortunately it was raining outside) . I sat down and after a bit of pacing around she sat on the end of her bed. As she started rubbing her arms I asked her if she was cold and she said Yes, so I asked her if I should get her a cardi out of her wardrobe and she said yes. I then asked if she wanted some coffee and again she said yes so I found a staff member who said they would make us one. Fortunately Mum was now totally distracted from her money and the rest of the visit was lovely.
For me being able to go back into Mum’s room was good.
It looks so bleak in there, bleak is perhaps too strong a word, more like a hotel room - just functional She frequently takes all her photos down and has destroyed many of the frames. I wonder if she takes them down as she still believes she will be leaving when she gets better. On the other hand though, Mum never had any photos around at home except one of my Dad and one of me and my brother in her bedroom. She does have a vase of artificial sunflowers which she has had for a long time which have also stood the test of time. I will speak to the manager about putting up a picture frame with photos in it or perhaps a couple of pictures. Mum did have some ornaments in her lounge but I don’t think it is right to take them in as they are heavy and I would not like her throwing them at anyone. (Which has been known when she is angry)
She does like her ‘little puppy dog’ so I am also going to try her with a soft toy giraffe ( as she is fascinated by giraffes)
Her clothes do need sorting out though. There was a cardi that had shrunk and I found a few more with buttons missing but why o why don’t the staff tell you. I could have fixed them (the cardi’s had spare buttons on the labels) - surely the laundry would have noticed. We will see what else needs repairing or replacing over the next few weeks when I visit. I still have 2 cases of good clothes at my house of Mum’s that I can take in as needed.
that was nice visit. they shouldnt keep her walking stick any way even if she might use it. i never took the walking stick off of the person who gave me a few clouts.i just needed to be quicker next time.Perhaps that is why Mum’s walking stick has been lost @jennifer1967 but I have told staff it does need to be found so that I can take Mum out into the wider world which will be ‘permitted’ from 17th May.
That is a good idea @Sarasa regarding landscapes as she loved the Lake District. I suppose I was thinking photos in a frame to try and help the Carers as well. The money question frequently appears but fortunately because I had been dealing with her finances for 5 years plus before she went into the CH she does seem to accept what I say at the moment. It was why originally she did have a small amount of money in a purse because she didn’t fret then and at the time she would have known if it was not ‘proper’ money.
Thank you @anxious annie it has been brilliant go back inside. The CH have really stepped up with the new manager. 2 relatives can have 1hour visits each week or 1 relative x 2 visits a week. Another 2 relatives can have garden visits outside under cover and socially distanced once a week. The relatives do have to be consistent. Additionally I think 9 out of 18 residents have a nominated essential care giver. It also seems that all essential care givers can go in as needed/required/wanted. So my Mum is best in the morning compared to some residents and I can go in up to 6 times a week 10am to 12, whereas other relatives prefer to go at meal times. I know some Care Homes have better visiting but most relatives/residents at Mum’s seem happy with this. It is certainly good progress.
Today’s visit was also good. When I arrived Mum was still having breakfast and as it is in a small dining area for dementia residents I was allowed to sit in there providing I remained socially distanced from the other residents and the windows were all slightly open. One of the other residents had been sent in some 2 new pairs of trainers and one of the admin staff was showing the resident. They were rather lovely. The Carers were also commenting and they joined Mum into the conversation as well and gave her time to speak (even though what she said did not make sense) so she was laughing and smiling. One of the Carers said she loved my Mum’s laugh to me. From when I arrived to when we left the dining area Mum never let go of my hand not in a bad way because she was worried or frightened but in a nice way. We then went to sit in her room for a bit and chat. I went out to make Mum another cup of tea and started talking to the nurse who was giving me an update on how Mum had settled in upstairs again (keeping an eye on her as she keeps trying to escape) Mum came out to find me and her face was not amused- fortunately she accepted my apology for getting distracted and I said I had been talking to the nurse about holiday destinations and Mum accepted that and she was fine again for the rest of the visit.
Sorry I was only joking. I don’t think the staff would keep her walking stick . I think it has genuinely just gone ‘walk about’ as Mum only really needed it when we went on longer walks outside. It was also similar to another ladies. I don’t think she would have hidden it @Sarasa as she did not mind using it as she could see the benefits.that was nice visit. they shouldnt keep her walking stick any way even if she might use it. i never took the walking stick off of the person who gave me a few clouts.i just needed to be quicker next time.
i wish they hid the walking stick which was wacked on my back. im still not sure why i didnt move rather taking it. there was another person who ran at me with a plank of wood. where they get their strength from, i dont knowSorry I was only joking. I don’t think the staff would keep her walking stick . I think it has genuinely just gone ‘walk about’ as Mum only really needed it when we went on longer walks outside. It was also similar to another ladies. I don’t think she would have hidden it @Sarasa as she did not mind using it as she could see the benefits.
not such a great week for your mum. any noise disturbs them so i would wonder why they were not taken elsewhere. maybe its just because your mum can remove the insoles that shes taking them out. good she didnt to quarantine again, your mum has been put through enough quarantine wiseSo visits this week have been a little different. Mon and Thur apparently she had got up and had her breakfast and then gone back to bed. Thur apparently she had been up wandering from about 4am so that did explain why she was tired. Whilst I was there she did not sleep but ‘behaved’ like an invalid. Monday she did eventually get up but Thur she refused. I don’t mean it unkindly but it seemed a bit like an act. Thur did work quite well as I took in a random glossy magazine with landscapes and gardens in and she enjoyed looking through it and ‘chatted’ about it.
Thur afternoon she had another fall. The staff said she went to sit down but ‘missed’ the chair. As she hit her head and Mum is on anticoagulants an ambulance was called and with some reluctance she headed to hospital where I met her at A&E. It took about 3 hours to get the CT scan done and the Registrar to confirm that there was no bleeding on the brain. Good news obviously. Apart from a couple of times when she said ‘ she was fed up so she was going home’ she was generally calm and happy to chat. Pleased that there were no issues.
Another positive - care home policy had changed that day - no quarantine after GP, dental, opticians and hospital appointments (including short A&E visits) so Mum could go back to her room.
Friday morning I went back and she was in bed again and had had her breakfast in bed. She was tired and her eyes kept shutting - the nurse was keeping an eye on her but we both thought it was due to the ‘excitement’ of Thur afternoon. Unfortunately they had some people in doing a deep clean of the carpets so Mum did not get the opportunity to sleep due to the noise. I was surprised that the activity coordinator had not organised an activity out of the ‘wing’ whilst it was being done as the noise gave me a headache so I felt really sorry for the residents. With all this unsurprisingly Mum was quite grumpy.
nurse did say the physio was coming in to see Mum (and hopefully this is added incentive to find her walking stick which I emailed the manager about finding again this week). On her advise we have taken a pair of shoes away from Mum that she is unsafe to walk in now. She has also advised some ‘bootie’ Velcro fastening slippers. I think Mum will throw them at me in disgust but i have ordered some along with another pair of ordinary Velcro fastening slippers similar to what she already has. For some reason she keeps removing the insoles from them and we can’t work out why. This time we will try some superglue or similar to hold them in.