Sugar in her coffee

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
I had a sad phone call today with Mum. She said ‘ I really keep trying to fix my memory so I can leave here but I think it is well and truly broke’ .
It certainly brought tears to my eyes that among all the confused conversation we had had for the previous 15 minutes she came out with that.
Awww ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Those are for both of you. I can't think of anything to say to make that better just Sorry, for both of you xxxx
Hope tomorrow goes ok for OH ??
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Thank you all. OH was scanned so we just await results now.
I had a phone call from Mum today (not sure if aided or not). Basically she said she felt really ill and had pains but did not know where. She said she felt so tired that she had had to crawl along the floor and had only just managed to get back into bed.
Not quite knowing the reality of the situation I rang the Carers back after talking to Mum just to check that she was not in pain.
The reality was : Carers had managed to get her showered today so they were happy and then she had spent the morning helping the receptionist with the lunch and dinner menus.
If what Mum said was her reality at that moment then that is truly sad and horrible. However I was glad to hear that she was well and had been happy this morning.
I do sometimes wonder if it said to get me to go over.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
:( That’s sad , hopefully it doesn’t upset her, mum says things like that but she seems happy enough when she is saying it , it blows my mind really . Glad scan done and hope you don’t have to wait too long for results ?
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
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Yorkshire
Glad to hear mum wasn't really in pain and had actually had good morning, sad to think she may have believed it though but I hope it didn't last long ? Hope scan results are ok x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Well it was nice to see Mum on a window visit today. I took a travel mug with coffee in and when I checked in I asked if Mum could have a coffee taken to her as well so the visit seemed more ‘normal’. Must remember to take a thicker jumper next week as Mum’s room faces North and with the wind today I was frozen.
Generally a good visit and Mum was looking well. I just wish they could get a chiropodist in as Mum’s toe nails are becoming really long. I need to chase again. I know it is hard but somehow it does need sorting now. Despite so many of her behaviours and muddled conversations she really does seem to have a high level of her condition at times. Today she said ‘I am not going to get any better am I, only worse’ Ishe seemed resigned rather than distressed about it so I did not reply.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Glad you had a good visit but sorry it was so chilly , next time you go and take a thicker jumper it will be ridiculously hot you can almost guarantee it . That is quite sad that mum seems to have understanding, hopefully it was just a blase comment and it doesn’t pervade her thoughts , I think you did the only thing you can do and let it go without comment . How is your back ? Hope it’s still ok ?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Back hopefully is still ok. I have slipped discs in my lower back but I can generally manage those. Now I am tending to have pains in the back just below the neck. Not sure if the motorbike ride vibrated it away or it just de-stressed me :D
How are things going with you on the gardening front and otherwise. How did Day Care go yesterday. Did you Mum enjoy it with the nice manager there?
 
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annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,917
0
Yorkshire
Glad you had a good visit x Shame about the weather, it felt like march here this morning dunno what happened to summer.
I find it odd when mum sometimes seems to understand she has something wrong but just seems to accept it and then others she is confused and upset wanting to know why she doesn't know things and then other times she has no idea anything is wrong. Its a funny thing this dementia isn't it, and a real pain in the bum and heart too. ?
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
0
South East
Gardening is going fine thanks , coming to the end of beans , waiting on second crop of most things , still munching through the many cucumbers and tomatoes .How about yours ? Yesterday was absolutely fine , no problems thank you . Hope the back pains stay away . Bike ride hopefully relaxes the muscles :)
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Gardening is going fine thanks , coming to the end of beans , waiting on second crop of most things , still munching through the many cucumbers and tomatoes .How about yours ? Yesterday was absolutely fine , no problems thank you . Hope the back pains stay away . Bike ride hopefully relaxes the muscles :)
Glad DC went ok for your Mum.
We got rid of our greenhouse to plant the raspberries, gooseberries and rhubarb (which I don’t regret) but I am jealous of your cucumbers and tomatoes as we have been living on salads the last few months. I need to get the onions and carrots dug out this weekend though. Loads of onions and about 20 carrots!! Broccoli just about surviving.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,652
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South East
Oh my broccoli has been savaged , you are patient I kept pulling up carrots whenever I needed them so I’m all out of those , only put more in 2 weeks ago so I’m waiting patiently for more . We must be lucky where we put cucumber as there are literally about 20 at any one time . Might try raspberries , our first one didn’t come to anything . :)
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
That's so sad that your mum recognises somewhere that she isn't going to get better @Bikerbeth . In the late early stages when I knew things were awry but mum was still coping pretty well at home she'd sometimes complain about not being able to do things she thought she should. It was tricky to try and re-assure her as if I'd mentioned dementia she'd have been cross with me. Her GP explained it best when she started complaining about her shoulder when we were there to discuss her possible dementia. By that time the GP was well aware of her cognitive difficulties and he said that just like her shoulder was wearing out as she got older, so was her brain. As she was ninety that was an explanation she more or less accepted, though she would deny the consequences of a worn out brain even now.
I have a few (a very few) tomatoes ripening. The last few years when I've gone to eat them they've been rotten or split. Hope that doesn't happen this year.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
That's so sad that your mum recognises somewhere that she isn't going to get better @Bikerbeth . In the late early stages when I knew things were awry but mum was still coping pretty well at home she'd sometimes complain about not being able to do things she thought she should. It was tricky to try and re-assure her as if I'd mentioned dementia she'd have been cross with me. Her GP explained it best when she started complaining about her shoulder when we were there to discuss her possible dementia. By that time the GP was well aware of her cognitive difficulties and he said that just like her shoulder was wearing out as she got older, so was her brain. As she was ninety that was an explanation she more or less accepted, though she would deny the consequences of a worn out brain even now.
I have a few (a very few) tomatoes ripening. The last few years when I've gone to eat them they've been rotten or split. Hope that doesn't happen this year.
I have tried saying to her that like brain like her hip and her knee is wearing out and sometimes it works and other times I try annielou’s approach of being tired so things get muddled.
Do you know what is happening regards a chiropodist going into your Mum,s care home?
Hoping that your tomatoes are successful this year.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Mum rang me this morning (without assistance) demanding that I found her a hairdresser as I promised as it had been weeks now. Totally in a strop. I tried ‘nasty bug affecting people over 65 yrs old so you need protecting ‘ which does usually work but in this case she had walked past a hairdressers last night after a meeting and it was full of people (only in her mind) Of course everyone else in the home has had a haircut because they know the right people. I said I would speak to the Manager?
It is so hard because I totally understand where Mum is coming from. I just feel it is almost over protection to prevent residents having a hair cut or more importantly a chiropodist come in. I totally appreciate that CH are in a no win situation.
 

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