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Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
I did not sleep well Sunday night and was not very happy and I guess Mum picked up on this when I visited (despite me trying to do my happy face). She didn’t want to go for a walk in the garden or see the hairdresser. She kept nodding of for a few minutes every so often in the chair in the lounge . Carer said she had been up since 6.30am. She got bad cramps in her leg so I finally managed to get her up and walking. However she walked to the end of one corridor and tried to push the window open ( they have those restrictions on them) and when it did not open she set off along the other corridor and tried to do the same there. When I said that they did not open anymore with clarity she told me ‘that’s a shame I wanted to jump out’ 🙁
Wednesday visit was better. She did have a strop on and the nurse had to try a couple of times to get Mum to take her tablets. She had tried before I arrived and Mum had threatened to thrown them at her. She took them when I was there but with bad grace whereas she is usually quite good. She did mention later that she was fed up with people telling her what to do and what she could not do. She agreed to go for a walk in the garden and was striding along like a youngster and ‘no she did not need to hold my arm’ . She did want to go out into the wider world but as she only had her slippers on I suggested we would go out on Friday when we had more time. She did seem to stand in front of the shut gate wishfully.
We did have tea and biscuits outside and I did manage to get her back inside saying I needed the toilet. Fortunately she settled down in the lounge with a magazine I had taken her in.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Nearly got into trouble today as I forget to take the LFT on arrival as one of the staff distracted me. Fortunately I did remember before I left. 3 Carers upstairs today (1 doing 1 to 1 care with wandering lady) but all agency although one is going permanent next month. She was just finishing getting Mum dressed when I arrived as Mum had had a lie in. She was encouraging Mum to brush her teeth which Mum did. She left me with Mum (to take clothes away for washing) and Mum wanted to brush her hair. I tried to pass her her hairbrush but she started yelling that it was ridiculous that she had to brush her hair with this - waving the toothbrush at me which she had picked up again. I managed though I am not sure how to take the toothbrush and replace the hairbrush in her hand. However I noticed no toothpaste and I had only taken some in 2 weeks ago plus a spare to be kept in the nurses locked cupboard. I spoke to Carer later who said she couldn’t find it. I know I can do more but I found it in one of her drawers and not even hidden. It just makes me wonder whether anybody would have mentioned to me that there wasn’t any.
We went over to the breakfast area and another one of the agency Carers asked me what Mum had for breakfast. I said toast and marmalade and coffee. Mum is meant to be on a high fibre diet but the Carer brought her white toast. I asked her if there was any wholemeal bread and she said No. Mum had her breakfast and the Carers moved the other residents to the lounge. Mum and me had a ‘chat’. I then asked her if she wanted another coffee and I went and made it. I looked in the bread tin and lo and behold there was wholemeal bread in there.
Mum’s walking stick was missing as well and she is a bit wobbly without it. I had looked round the lounge, dining room and Mum’s room and no sign of it. I asked the Carers if they could have a quick look in the other resident’s rooms in case Mum had wandered into one and left her stick there. They came back a little while later and said they had looked everywhere but could not find it. There was one resident sleeping so they would try that room later. So as we could not really go for a walk outside without stick we headed into the lounge. I tried to get Mum interested in a reminiscence magazine but did not have much success. I needed the loo and have to use the one in Mum’s room but after I thought I would just have a look down the corridors. At the end of the corridor there was her stick by the window. Again why didn’t the Carers yesterday notice that the stick had gone missing. Were they agency too and not familiar with Mum and the fact that she needs her stick now.
I am just grateful that I have ECG status and can go in. I know the staffing is tough for care homes especially at the moment but I think these things are important. I just wish I could come up with a good solution
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
Nearly got into trouble today as I forget to take the LFT on arrival as one of the staff distracted me. Fortunately I did remember before I left. 3 Carers upstairs today (1 doing 1 to 1 care with wandering lady) but all agency although one is going permanent next month. She was just finishing getting Mum dressed when I arrived as Mum had had a lie in. She was encouraging Mum to brush her teeth which Mum did. She left me with Mum (to take clothes away for washing) and Mum wanted to brush her hair. I tried to pass her her hairbrush but she started yelling that it was ridiculous that she had to brush her hair with this - waving the toothbrush at me which she had picked up again. I managed though I am not sure how to take the toothbrush and replace the hairbrush in her hand. However I noticed no toothpaste and I had only taken some in 2 weeks ago plus a spare to be kept in the nurses locked cupboard. I spoke to Carer later who said she couldn’t find it. I know I can do more but I found it in one of her drawers and not even hidden. It just makes me wonder whether anybody would have mentioned to me that there wasn’t any.
We went over to the breakfast area and another one of the agency Carers asked me what Mum had for breakfast. I said toast and marmalade and coffee. Mum is meant to be on a high fibre diet but the Carer brought her white toast. I asked her if there was any wholemeal bread and she said No. Mum had her breakfast and the Carers moved the other residents to the lounge. Mum and me had a ‘chat’. I then asked her if she wanted another coffee and I went and made it. I looked in the bread tin and lo and behold there was wholemeal bread in there.
Mum’s walking stick was missing as well and she is a bit wobbly without it. I had looked round the lounge, dining room and Mum’s room and no sign of it. I asked the Carers if they could have a quick look in the other resident’s rooms in case Mum had wandered into one and left her stick there. They came back a little while later and said they had looked everywhere but could not find it. There was one resident sleeping so they would try that room later. So as we could not really go for a walk outside without stick we headed into the lounge. I tried to get Mum interested in a reminiscence magazine but did not have much success. I needed the loo and have to use the one in Mum’s room but after I thought I would just have a look down the corridors. At the end of the corridor there was her stick by the window. Again why didn’t the Carers yesterday notice that the stick had gone missing. Were they agency too and not familiar with Mum and the fact that she needs her stick now.
I am just grateful that I have ECG status and can go in. I know the staffing is tough for care homes especially at the moment but I think these things are important. I just wish I could come up with a good solution
you rebel @Bikerbeth forgetting the test. its probably agency staff and a bit of cant be bothered or her daughter will come in and she can find it or they dont know your mum enough although i used to make sure to read the careplans or ask someone what they needed. walking stick is an important aid to keep your mum mobile. its good that you are there
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Thanks Jennifer - it does seem like each resident should have a summary care sheet sometimes with some essential points.
I had a lovely visit with Mum on Wednesday and I think we were both left feeling happy. When I arrived the Carers had left her breakfast in her bedroom as no amount of persuading had got her up and dressed. They did tell me to give them a shout if I needed a hand with anything. So Mum is in her room with breakfast eaten but she is standing in her undies straightening up her bed and arranging some trousers on her bed (pj bottoms). I give her a cheery hello and give her a hug. I tell her I will sort the shower out for her so she can have one before we can go out this morning but she is adamant that she has already had one. (Floor dry in shower room so definitely not). Not worth an argument. However she decides she is going to clean her teeth so I go along with that and hand her the toothpaste as she does not recognise it and squeeze a little on her brush. Whilst she is doing that I find some similar trousers for her to wear (rather than the pj bottoms) and when she has finished cleaning her teeth I give her hand getting dressed after she has agreed to the top I found out for her. She then decides she wants the toilet. I have noticed another unfortunate progression in the condition; as she knows she wants to go but does not know what she needs to do. I got her sitting on the toilet but then she got frustrated because she said she didn’t know what to do with her hands. I told her to just hold on to the rail and relax and it would happen. Fortunately it did but I wonder for how much longer this approach will work as it has happened with me a fortnight or so ago. It must be so awful for Mum. After that it all got better. We found her stick in the dining room and by this time she was ready for another drink so I managed to get her downstairs into the garden where we sat outside drinking coffee and chatting. We had our usual walk round the garden and by this time it was time for me to leave. Mum happily went back upstairs into the lounge with the other residents after I said good bye - see you later for tea ( She seems ok with this approach currently)
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
Thanks Jennifer - it does seem like each resident should have a summary care sheet sometimes with some essential points.
I had a lovely visit with Mum on Wednesday and I think we were both left feeling happy. When I arrived the Carers had left her breakfast in her bedroom as no amount of persuading had got her up and dressed. They did tell me to give them a shout if I needed a hand with anything. So Mum is in her room with breakfast eaten but she is standing in her undies straightening up her bed and arranging some trousers on her bed (pj bottoms). I give her a cheery hello and give her a hug. I tell her I will sort the shower out for her so she can have one before we can go out this morning but she is adamant that she has already had one. (Floor dry in shower room so definitely not). Not worth an argument. However she decides she is going to clean her teeth so I go along with that and hand her the toothpaste as she does not recognise it and squeeze a little on her brush. Whilst she is doing that I find some similar trousers for her to wear (rather than the pj bottoms) and when she has finished cleaning her teeth I give her hand getting dressed after she has agreed to the top I found out for her. She then decides she wants the toilet. I have noticed another unfortunate progression in the condition; as she knows she wants to go but does not know what she needs to do. I got her sitting on the toilet but then she got frustrated because she said she didn’t know what to do with her hands. I told her to just hold on to the rail and relax and it would happen. Fortunately it did but I wonder for how much longer this approach will work as it has happened with me a fortnight or so ago. It must be so awful for Mum. After that it all got better. We found her stick in the dining room and by this time she was ready for another drink so I managed to get her downstairs into the garden where we sat outside drinking coffee and chatting. We had our usual walk round the garden and by this time it was time for me to leave. Mum happily went back upstairs into the lounge with the other residents after I said good bye - see you later for tea ( She seems ok with this approach currently)
that was a nice visit. your mum sounded pleased to see you.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
I got a bit of an extra visit this morning. I had an appointment with the admin person who had confirmed by email, but was actually away on holiday so I went up early to see Mum. She had had her breakfast but was dosing in the chair. I suggested we went to the lounge area which we did and we sat on a sofa together. I had seen her magazine on one of the tables so I grabbed that so we could chat about the pictures in it. The olympics were on the tv as well so that was also a talking point. Mum liked one of the NZ Rugby players and thought he was rather handsome 🙂. We had been waiting for hairdresser so didn’t go for a walk but it also turns out she is now in Friday.
Anyway a good visit for both of us.
I also had a chat with one of the new nurses who is lovely. She had just qualified as an intensive care nurse when the pandemic hit and was totally thrown in the deep end. After the 2nd wave she decided to leave as she was struggling to cope but has now has found a good compromise for her - 2 days at Mum’s home and 2 days back on the ward. I told her I had the utmost admiration for what she had done and is doing now.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
I got a bit of an extra visit this morning. I had an appointment with the admin person who had confirmed by email, but was actually away on holiday so I went up early to see Mum. She had had her breakfast but was dosing in the chair. I suggested we went to the lounge area which we did and we sat on a sofa together. I had seen her magazine on one of the tables so I grabbed that so we could chat about the pictures in it. The olympics were on the tv as well so that was also a talking point. Mum liked one of the NZ Rugby players and thought he was rather handsome 🙂. We had been waiting for hairdresser so didn’t go for a walk but it also turns out she is now in Friday.
Anyway a good visit for both of us.
I also had a chat with one of the new nurses who is lovely. She had just qualified as an intensive care nurse when the pandemic hit and was totally thrown in the deep end. After the 2nd wave she decided to leave as she was struggling to cope but has now has found a good compromise for her - 2 days at Mum’s home and 2 days back on the ward. I told her I had the utmost admiration for what she had done and is doing now.
your mum has good taste @Bikerbeth rugby men are definitely easier on the eye but dont tell my husband! no magic sponge for them
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Does that mean you are a bit of a rugby fan then @jennifer1967? 🙂
Mixed visit with Mum today. Dozing at the breakfast table again but did eventually give me a sleepy smile. She finished her 2nd coffee and I made one for me and I talked to her and gradually she woke up. I am wondering if this ‘dozing’ is due to the new tablets. The hairdresser came to find us and we headed off down to the room she uses. Mum had refused a shower this morning so we needed to wash her hair. The new plan of action worked and she was fine having her hair washed. However it was strange when the hairdresser was blow drying her hair Mum kept saying it felt funny and didn’t feel right. However we could not work out what she thought was wrong. Suddenly she started crying and saying the hairdresser had cut it to short (hairdresser had not cut it at all). It was all very strange. She did settle again and the hairdresser finished her hair. Mum then complained it was too long. Then it was really strange - Mum started to walk to the door with her stick in her left hand and me holding her right arm when suddenly her left hand and forearm started shaking uncontrollably. A few minutes later it stopped. This had happened earlier in the week but I thought it was a one off.
Anyway I took Mum back upstairs and settled her into the lounge with a cup of tea. She said she was cold and I went to find her a warmer cardigan and she popped it on, then a few minutes later her teeth started chattering and her eyes went a bit glazed. Again a few minutes and it all stopped. Both Carers present were agency so I thought I would go and talk to the nurse as my time was up.
I told the nurse what had happened and she said none of the Carers had mentioned it or noted it previously but she would keep an eye out for it. She did mention that the day before the Carers had been unable to get Mum out of bed in the morning. It was not until the nurse went up at 1pm that they could coax her to get up. I wonder if Mum is moving into a new stage.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
Does that mean you are a bit of a rugby fan then @jennifer1967? 🙂
Mixed visit with Mum today. Dozing at the breakfast table again but did eventually give me a sleepy smile. She finished her 2nd coffee and I made one for me and I talked to her and gradually she woke up. I am wondering if this ‘dozing’ is due to the new tablets. The hairdresser came to find us and we headed off down to the room she uses. Mum had refused a shower this morning so we needed to wash her hair. The new plan of action worked and she was fine having her hair washed. However it was strange when the hairdresser was blow drying her hair Mum kept saying it felt funny and didn’t feel right. However we could not work out what she thought was wrong. Suddenly she started crying and saying the hairdresser had cut it to short (hairdresser had not cut it at all). It was all very strange. She did settle again and the hairdresser finished her hair. Mum then complained it was too long. Then it was really strange - Mum started to walk to the door with her stick in her left hand and me holding her right arm when suddenly her left hand and forearm started shaking uncontrollably. A few minutes later it stopped. This had happened earlier in the week but I thought it was a one off.
Anyway I took Mum back upstairs and settled her into the lounge with a cup of tea. She said she was cold and I went to find her a warmer cardigan and she popped it on, then a few minutes later her teeth started chattering and her eyes went a bit glazed. Again a few minutes and it all stopped. Both Carers present were agency so I thought I would go and talk to the nurse as my time was up.
I told the nurse what had happened and she said none of the Carers had mentioned it or noted it previously but she would keep an eye out for it. She did mention that the day before the Carers had been unable to get Mum out of bed in the morning. It was not until the nurse went up at 1pm that they could coax her to get up. I wonder if Mum is moving into a new stage.
i will sit and watch and understand the rules. my husband likes it and it is a mans game. bit more flesh on them and muscles.[not that im looking at them, of course, but the game] a bit of a worry about your mum but at least the nurses are aware. could she have an infection?
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,940
0
It sounds like your mum needs an eye keeping on her. I wonder if she has an infection brewing, or maybe these episodes are mini-strokes. Whatever they are good you let the nurse know.
It's good you are able to visit and keep abreast of what's happening.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Thx @jennifer1967 and @Sarasa I would never of thought of infections causing shakes. Nor had I thought of mini strokes because of Mum’s Alzheimers diagnosis (rather than say if she had had a diagnosis of vascular dementia
I have seen the advise regarding strokes on the tv and the signs to look for but it never crossed my mind. I will do some research as her eyes certainly went glazed. I will perhaps talk to one of the Admiral nurses if I can. Thank you both again
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Not a good visit today.
Mum was angry and got quite angry and sarcastic with me which is unusual.
She got cross when I tried to move an empty mug and plate away from her.
It was a very stilted sort of talk with her as she wouldn’t engage.
In desperation we went to the lounge with a lot of huffing and puffing on her part. As the Olympics was on the tv and I thought we might be able to talk about that.
I failed so I suggested going to the garden for a walk which she sort of agreed to. We had just got downstairs and we were waiting for them to unlock the door into the garden when the hairdresser appeared. She asked Mum if she wanted her hair cut and Mum said ok. I suggested to the hairdresser it might be best to just damp down Mum hair which she did. Mum started complaining from the start saying she was taking too much off (about a centimetre). We showed her how much had been taken off and she said that did not matter, it was what was left on top. She said if it was too short then she was ‘going to punch her lights out’ Although we involved Mum in any conversation, Mum started being sarcastic going ‘yak yak yak’ to us so we stopped talking. Hairdresser managed to finish trimming it and then said she was going to blow dry it. She started and then Mum half way through started screaming that it too hot. Hairdresser is very careful and had it on the coolest setting. So I said to Mum if you don’t want hairdresser to blow dry it she can just brush it. Mum then swore that I was trying to make her look a total idiot and she had 2 parties to go to and she would look a mess and then she started crying. Once she calmed down a bit the hairdresser suggested she would blow dry Mum’s hair and it would look better. Mum agreed and was fine then.
I think we will give the hairdresser a miss for a few weeks but Mum’s hair is la lot longer that it has ever been. It is just hard to know what to do because she also complains frequently it is too long.

They were all agency staff today, although I have seen 1 or 2 of them before but not recently. So limited knowledge of Mum or the other residents on the dementia floor. Only one knew that Mum and wandering lady should be kept apart. There were also a couple of times when I was the only non resident in the lounge with 5 dementia residents. My understanding is that there should definitely be one there at all times as 2 of the ladies who use wheelchairs forget they can’t walk and will fall trying to stand up. I am certainly not saying they didn’t care because they did but there was nobody in charge overall so no coordination between them. One of the agency staff said it was the same at a lot of the care homes in this area that she worked in. Scary to say the least.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,735
0
North West
Not a good visit today.
Mum was angry and got quite angry and sarcastic with me which is unusual.
She got cross when I tried to move an empty mug and plate away from her.
It was a very stilted sort of talk with her as she wouldn’t engage.
In desperation we went to the lounge with a lot of huffing and puffing on her part. As the Olympics was on the tv and I thought we might be able to talk about that.
I failed so I suggested going to the garden for a walk which she sort of agreed to. We had just got downstairs and we were waiting for them to unlock the door into the garden when the hairdresser appeared. She asked Mum if she wanted her hair cut and Mum said ok. I suggested to the hairdresser it might be best to just damp down Mum hair which she did. Mum started complaining from the start saying she was taking too much off (about a centimetre). We showed her how much had been taken off and she said that did not matter, it was what was left on top. She said if it was too short then she was ‘going to punch her lights out’ Although we involved Mum in any conversation, Mum started being sarcastic going ‘yak yak yak’ to us so we stopped talking. Hairdresser managed to finish trimming it and then said she was going to blow dry it. She started and then Mum half way through started screaming that it too hot. Hairdresser is very careful and had it on the coolest setting. So I said to Mum if you don’t want hairdresser to blow dry it she can just brush it. Mum then swore that I was trying to make her look a total idiot and she had 2 parties to go to and she would look a mess and then she started crying. Once she calmed down a bit the hairdresser suggested she would blow dry Mum’s hair and it would look better. Mum agreed and was fine then.
I think we will give the hairdresser a miss for a few weeks but Mum’s hair is la lot longer that it has ever been. It is just hard to know what to do because she also complains frequently it is too long.

They were all agency staff today, although I have seen 1 or 2 of them before but not recently. So limited knowledge of Mum or the other residents on the dementia floor. Only one knew that Mum and wandering lady should be kept apart. There were also a couple of times when I was the only non resident in the lounge with 5 dementia residents. My understanding is that there should definitely be one there at all times as 2 of the ladies who use wheelchairs forget they can’t walk and will fall trying to stand up. I am certainly not saying they didn’t care because they did but there was nobody in charge overall so no coordination between them. One of the agency staff said it was the same at a lot of the care homes in this area that she worked in. Scary to say the least.
I was about to walk away and saw your post.

The last time i took mum to the hairdressers before she went into care I had to go rescue the hairdresser, they called me and said she wouldn't let them rinse the perming agent off _I had visions of mum with very frizzy hair. I got there and it was a real task to get her hair finished. Next time I took her it was to a dementia unit that had a hairdresser trained to do hair for PWD's. That was the last time. Mum recently has been wheeled down to the hairdresser in her EMI unit and is now very different to how she was before. Its so hard to deal with and things can be very unpredictable with PWD's depending on where they are at.

Last week I had a chat with one of the carers that knows my mum and she was saying they just can't keep staff, I said its the same nationally and mentioned TP to her. Mums care home is so much better than her last one but they just can't keep carers. I asked her if she had any traning and what her pay was -negative answers to both, she isn't even paid the national wage! Many carers are just seeking employment to pay the bills and exist, not surprisingly so mnay leave when they realise its hard work and demanding work -she agreed
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
i was paid minimum wage when i worked 4 years ago. the wages only increased when the gvt put the minimum wage up. we got the same for the actual training but not getting there and back. could be 5 hrs and get paid for 2 hr course. one of the staff would give a lift to the others. its not a good idea to leave residents unattended in my opinion as they can do all sorts, falling, sliding from wheelchairs, disputes between residents. falls from other residents which are then unwitnessed falls.
maybe just having off day or is she sickening for something UTI.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
That must have been awful for the hairdresser and your Mum knowing what damage those perming solutions can do. It is a good job you were around to go the rescue. The hairdresser does 3 care home (same brand) in the area and is generally good but apart from her taking herself to a dementia friends course that is her formal knowledge of dementia. She has been ‘discussing’ with the management about getting a special sink that can be used by residents to lean back rather than forward and that has taken 12 months.
You are both so right @Palerider and @jennifer1967. I was talking to the cleaner at Mum’s care home who is brilliant with the dementia residents. She told me that me she loved caring but as a cleaner she got £9.70 vs the £9.10 they pay the Carers. Being a widow with under 18 children it all makes a difference however small. As to paying less than the minimum wage I would love to know how they get away with that. You too @jennifer1967 are suffering the consequences of being a Carer for many years with your back pain.
Good Carers are such special people and should be paid accordingly but how that comes about is beyond me and obviously many governments
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Well finally agreed with Care Home admin that they do owe Mum money. They also say that as it is only a small amount they can’t do a credit and pay her back. I have at least got it confirmed in writing and I suppose it is less than the cost of one days care. However they were quick to chase me when they thought Mum owed them.
The nurse also found me and asked if I could take Mum to hospital on Friday. I asked what for and she showed me the letter dated 12 July saying the appointment is for the Orthotics Dept. I asked what that was and she said she did not know. We looked on google. I asked if she knew why or who Mum had been referred by and for what. No idea and told me to ring the GP. I rang the GP they don’t have any record of it. Tried the hospital but no answer except for an answering machine. I rang the home and requested that they find out because there must be a record somewhere.
Went up to see Mum - she had been up at 7am and had a cup of coffee and then gone back to bed. I left at 11.15am and she was still fast asleep although she had turned over in the bed. To be honest I just felt that if that is what she wanted to do, at 91 years old then that seemed fair enough.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,850
0
Southampton
Well finally agreed with Care Home admin that they do owe Mum money. They also say that as it is only a small amount they can’t do a credit and pay her back. I have at least got it confirmed in writing and I suppose it is less than the cost of one days care. However they were quick to chase me when they thought Mum owed them.
The nurse also found me and asked if I could take Mum to hospital on Friday. I asked what for and she showed me the letter dated 12 July saying the appointment is for the Orthotics Dept. I asked what that was and she said she did not know. We looked on google. I asked if she knew why or who Mum had been referred by and for what. No idea and told me to ring the GP. I rang the GP they don’t have any record of it. Tried the hospital but no answer except for an answering machine. I rang the home and requested that they find out because there must be a record somewhere.
Went up to see Mum - she had been up at 7am and had a cup of coffee and then gone back to bed. I left at 11.15am and she was still fast asleep although she had turned over in the bed. To be honest I just felt that if that is what she wanted to do, at 91 years old then that seemed fair enough.
could it be because of her broken wrist she had as its a dept for braces and splints according to google. why have they left it so late to give you the letter? better to let her sleep, it will do some good and dont suppose your mum would have been happy for you to wake her up.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
693
0
Well finally agreed with Care Home admin that they do owe Mum money. They also say that as it is only a small amount they can’t do a credit and pay her back. I have at least got it confirmed in writing and I suppose it is less than the cost of one days care. However they were quick to chase me when they thought Mum owed them.
The nurse also found me and asked if I could take Mum to hospital on Friday. I asked what for and she showed me the letter dated 12 July saying the appointment is for the Orthotics Dept. I asked what that was and she said she did not know. We looked on google. I asked if she knew why or who Mum had been referred by and for what. No idea and told me to ring the GP. I rang the GP they don’t have any record of it. Tried the hospital but no answer except for an answering machine. I rang the home and requested that they find out because there must be a record somewhere.
Went up to see Mum - she had been up at 7am and had a cup of coffee and then gone back to bed. I left at 11.15am and she was still fast asleep although she had turned over in the bed. To be honest I just felt that if that is what she wanted to do, at 91 years old then that seemed fair enough.
Classic money situation there! The assisted living place insisted dad owed them £500 he'd paid in cash and even set a lawyer on me to recover it. I rang her and she sounded extremely tired with her client. I sent her the signed and photocopied scan I had of the cash payment and the final bi which I'd paid and she just vanished into thin air.
Orthotics for dad is always special shoes, and getting a referral is hard, so how odd! Hope you get to the bottom of it and that mum cheers up!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,112
0
Bedford
Fortunately the hospital came back to me and gave me the name of the physio who had referred Mum.
So I spoke to the nurse at the home and she came back to me later - it was all to do with the physio who visited back in June. The physio had been called in because of Mum’s falls. At the time we had discussed Mum’s need for a stick. I had only just been granted ECG status and noticed no sign of Mum’s stick. I remember using the physio’s comments to ask the CH to have a good look around for Mum’s stick which they did and found it. Hopefully that will continue to help avoid falls.
Anyway I need to see the letter because I think the referral is to do with Mum going ‘over’ in her shoes which she has done for a very long time. If that is why I not quite sure if the hospital visit will help. She does have sturdy shoes and boot slippers and both myself and the nurse agreed she does not have issues walking providing she has her stick. At the moment we have put back the appointment - I’m a bit worried if I have made the right decision now you have said getting an appointment is difficult @imthedaughter. I guess maybe the post code lottery strikes again.
The letter I think had got missed due to the absent of non permanent staff - so incompetence
Thinking now about the money - if they hadn’t come to me saying I owed them money I would never have doubled checked the numbers and realised that it was them that owed me. So frustrating @imthedaughter and generally causes stress when it is not needed.