Thank you @anxious annie i saw that too. I am going to send and talk to C.H manager tomorrow. Thanks again for highlighting. It will be brilliant IF care home agrees
Sugar in her coffee
- Thread starter Bikerbeth
- Start date
So back to the hospital for a check up for Mum on her wrist. When the Carer brought Mum out she smiled a lovely smile at me. We had a ‘chat’ in the car (OH was driving) and she remembered the route and where she went to a music for memories group. Arriving at the hospital she tells me she needs the toilet and because of her wrist she needs more assistance understandably. I noted today she was now wearing pull up so I guess this is another sign of a change that is not so good. They needed to take another X-ray first so we had to queue for that which led to ‘have they forgotten me’, ‘ can you ask them how much longer’ within about 5 mins. She was fairly good with the radiographer once I suggested he showed and told Mum where he wanted her wrist positioned rather than just telling her.
Then we headed back to the clinic to wait - there were only 5 people waiting but due to the seating Mum could only see one other. So again the loop of questions started however she was a cheered up a bit when one of the assistants asked if anyone wanted a cup of tea. It seemed that another ‘case’ had involved registrar needing the consultant due to complications and it had delayed all the ongoing appointments. Unfortunately Mum did not understand that. I find it so hard to distract in such a sterile environment. I tried photos on my phone but she was distracted trying to make sure she was still going to see the Doctor.
anyway good news her wrist is healing nicely. Registrar said to make another appointment in 3 weeks and I did ask if that would be the last and mentioned isolation at Care Home after hospital visits. He said providing no complications Yes - just physio afterwards.
I do still wish that Doctors would address their comments to Mum instead of me so she still feels part of it even if she does not understand. I usually try and say something but I think he was really hassled today so Would not have been receptive on any level. I made the next appointment but it will be 4 weeks as they only do clinics on a Monday and I have another appointment that day in 3 weeks time that I cannot change.
by this time Mum is quite agitated and more confused. She complained on the way home that we had spent so much time ‘messing about’ in that place that we could not go to the shops for a mooch around as it was nearly bedtime (2pm)
Followed up about quarantine but ultimately it is still down to Care Home They are going to ‘consider’ no quarantine for GP/ short appointments but said unlikely for my scenario that day as Mum had been out of the Home for 4 hours and we had been in various places in the hospital.
I have been in contact with another gentleman who has a relative in the same Care Home Group but that home is the original fully occupied one. They have a more organised vocal residents group but it was useful to text with him.
Then we headed back to the clinic to wait - there were only 5 people waiting but due to the seating Mum could only see one other. So again the loop of questions started however she was a cheered up a bit when one of the assistants asked if anyone wanted a cup of tea. It seemed that another ‘case’ had involved registrar needing the consultant due to complications and it had delayed all the ongoing appointments. Unfortunately Mum did not understand that. I find it so hard to distract in such a sterile environment. I tried photos on my phone but she was distracted trying to make sure she was still going to see the Doctor.
anyway good news her wrist is healing nicely. Registrar said to make another appointment in 3 weeks and I did ask if that would be the last and mentioned isolation at Care Home after hospital visits. He said providing no complications Yes - just physio afterwards.
I do still wish that Doctors would address their comments to Mum instead of me so she still feels part of it even if she does not understand. I usually try and say something but I think he was really hassled today so Would not have been receptive on any level. I made the next appointment but it will be 4 weeks as they only do clinics on a Monday and I have another appointment that day in 3 weeks time that I cannot change.
by this time Mum is quite agitated and more confused. She complained on the way home that we had spent so much time ‘messing about’ in that place that we could not go to the shops for a mooch around as it was nearly bedtime (2pm)
Followed up about quarantine but ultimately it is still down to Care Home They are going to ‘consider’ no quarantine for GP/ short appointments but said unlikely for my scenario that day as Mum had been out of the Home for 4 hours and we had been in various places in the hospital.
I have been in contact with another gentleman who has a relative in the same Care Home Group but that home is the original fully occupied one. They have a more organised vocal residents group but it was useful to text with him.
Hi @Bikerbeth, glad your mum's wrist is healing nicely. I must say when I was with mum last year in A&E they were very good at involving her, not that her stopped her being horrible to all the staff! Annoying about the isolation policy. Maybe in a month they will have relaxed it a bit. When does your mum get her second vaccine dose?
Good you've been in contact with someone from the resident's group of the sister home. Do you think you could get one going at your mum's home?
Good you've been in contact with someone from the resident's group of the sister home. Do you think you could get one going at your mum's home?
Pleased to hear your mum's wrist is healing nicely @Bikerbeth . Sorry to hear that the home has the final decision on isolating, it's all so frustrating!
Mum will get her 2nd jab by mid April @Sarasa .
I did mention having a relatives what’s app group pre lock down to some other relatives and I have linked up with one relative who was the only other frequent visitor to the Home. Even the Manager was ‘surprised’ at the last relatives meeting as to how happy all the relatives were. I was the only one that challenged him about the visiting policy. I felt like I was the unreasonable one as everyone else was happy/grateful with a 30 min internal visit.
It is frustrating @anxious annie as @Sarasa says maybe there might be a little relaxation in a month or so.
I have written again today complaint that the promised phone calls are still not happening.
Tuesday visit was not good. We were back behind the screen. I had been warned that Mum was not in a good mood. I heard her arguing with the Carer as she came down to the visitors room. Carer had tried to get her to put a cardi over her t shirt as it can be a little cold. Door open with me sitting outside and then the screen which has a gap at the bottom and Mum sitting the other side. Fortunately Carer left cardi because within a few minutes Mum was cold and she then agreed to put it on. I had given the receptionist some photos in a clear plastic file of my Mum’s best friend and then one of Mum and best friend’s daughter who Mum was also close to. She had recognised them on my phone in the hospital so I had printed copies as I thought she might like them. Yet they got pushed back under the screen with the words ‘I have seen there so why do I want to see them again’ I said ‘ I thought you might like the,’ to which she just said ‘I already have too much rubbish’ so I let it be.
I tried making conversation with little success. She mainly just sat there with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I tried to find out what was wrong with even less success. After quite a bit of yawning she announced she was going and off she headed out of the room. Not a successful visit but there was little I could do about it.
I also found out that after the hospital visit that another male resident (non dementia) went into the quarantine wing on Sunday. Mum however has taken a ‘shine’ to him and followed the chap to his room. When the activities coordinator suggested to Mum that she should give the gentleman some privacy Mum went to hit her with the plaster cast arm. Fortunately the activities coordinator moved quickly so she was not hurt but was expecting a bruise.
I did mention having a relatives what’s app group pre lock down to some other relatives and I have linked up with one relative who was the only other frequent visitor to the Home. Even the Manager was ‘surprised’ at the last relatives meeting as to how happy all the relatives were. I was the only one that challenged him about the visiting policy. I felt like I was the unreasonable one as everyone else was happy/grateful with a 30 min internal visit.
It is frustrating @anxious annie as @Sarasa says maybe there might be a little relaxation in a month or so.
I have written again today complaint that the promised phone calls are still not happening.
Tuesday visit was not good. We were back behind the screen. I had been warned that Mum was not in a good mood. I heard her arguing with the Carer as she came down to the visitors room. Carer had tried to get her to put a cardi over her t shirt as it can be a little cold. Door open with me sitting outside and then the screen which has a gap at the bottom and Mum sitting the other side. Fortunately Carer left cardi because within a few minutes Mum was cold and she then agreed to put it on. I had given the receptionist some photos in a clear plastic file of my Mum’s best friend and then one of Mum and best friend’s daughter who Mum was also close to. She had recognised them on my phone in the hospital so I had printed copies as I thought she might like them. Yet they got pushed back under the screen with the words ‘I have seen there so why do I want to see them again’ I said ‘ I thought you might like the,’ to which she just said ‘I already have too much rubbish’ so I let it be.
I tried making conversation with little success. She mainly just sat there with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I tried to find out what was wrong with even less success. After quite a bit of yawning she announced she was going and off she headed out of the room. Not a successful visit but there was little I could do about it.
I also found out that after the hospital visit that another male resident (non dementia) went into the quarantine wing on Sunday. Mum however has taken a ‘shine’ to him and followed the chap to his room. When the activities coordinator suggested to Mum that she should give the gentleman some privacy Mum went to hit her with the plaster cast arm. Fortunately the activities coordinator moved quickly so she was not hurt but was expecting a bruise.
Sorry to hear that you didn't have a good visit @Bikerbeth . Maybe your mum is frustrated about lack of "proper" visits . I don't know if you've asked to be Essential care giver , or even if this is allowed in quarantine wing?
Most of the families at mum's home seem happy about having one 30 minute visit a week. I think, despite residents having had a vaccine, they are still worried about either passing on covid or getting infected whilst at the home.
I'm the only difficult one wanting to get back to visits in rooms for longer periods.
I can't get ECG as I live too far away to be able to do the testing required so have to accept being named visitor. It is lively to see mum indoors, but it does seem that we have to be grateful to what is really an over cautious baby step, particularly when compared to what freedoms everyone else will be shortly allowed!
Most of the families at mum's home seem happy about having one 30 minute visit a week. I think, despite residents having had a vaccine, they are still worried about either passing on covid or getting infected whilst at the home.
I'm the only difficult one wanting to get back to visits in rooms for longer periods.
I can't get ECG as I live too far away to be able to do the testing required so have to accept being named visitor. It is lively to see mum indoors, but it does seem that we have to be grateful to what is really an over cautious baby step, particularly when compared to what freedoms everyone else will be shortly allowed!
I think you are right @anxious annie there are still a lot of families worried about the Home getting an infection.
Mum had another fall last night. Apparently she had been to the toilet but couldn’t pull her trousers back up so ended up walking up the corridor with them round her ankles. The cleaner saw her, told her to wait and called for help but as she got to Mum, who had carried on walking, Mum fell over taking the cleaner with her. The Carer and nurse have checked Mum over and apparently she is fine although Mum made it hard for them by telling them not to fuss and go away. Fortunately it seems that she did not land on broken wrist hand but sort of folded and fell.
The cleaner was also fine.
The cleaner was also fine.
thank goodness your mums fine. do the carers usually take your mum so they can pull up her clothes?
I’m sorry she fell again @Bikerbeth ? glad she doesn’t seem to have sustained any further injuries and that her wrist seems ok .
Glad your mum and the carer are OK. Do you think your mum might accept using a frame to walk. I know my mum wouldn't, walking aids are for old people and at 93 she isn't old 
, but your mum might be more amenable to the idea.
, but your mum might be more amenable to the idea.Sorry to hear your mum has had another fall, glad that both she and the cleaner are ok. As @Sarasa suggests, a frame may help. My mum was always adamant she would never use one, but after falling and breaking her hip last April she has been quite happy to use one as it gives her confidence she won't fall. It just S help my balance, she says.
That is a good question @jennifer1967. She was wearing the same pair of trousers that she wore to the hospital on Monday. (Which is also worrying) She struggled with doing them up then and I needed to help but I think it is due to her broken wrist rather than the Alzheimer’s. I thought they were accompanying her to the toilet but she could have ‘sneaked’ off so I need to find out more on Tuesday.
thanks @Woo2, @Sarasa, @anxious annie.
Mum was using a stick (reluctantly) prior to COVID lockdown when we went out walking due to arthritis in her knee. However stick should be in her left hand (the broken one).
I think Mum would be like your Mum @Sarasa and refuse a frame.
however based on the number of falls now it is certainly worth a discussion
thanks @Woo2, @Sarasa, @anxious annie.
Mum was using a stick (reluctantly) prior to COVID lockdown when we went out walking due to arthritis in her knee. However stick should be in her left hand (the broken one).
I think Mum would be like your Mum @Sarasa and refuse a frame.
however based on the number of falls now it is certainly worth a discussion
So 2 outdoor visits with Mum over the last 2 weeks. Both were ok just but first visit Mum decided to wander off towards the end, the second one was cut short by the staff which annoyed me but in some ways had it benefits because Mum was in a stroppy mood even before I arrived. When the nurse interrupted the visit to give Mum her tablets Mum got really cross and chucked the tablets at the screen dividing us.
However the good news is, after lots of nagging I have been granted essential Carer giver status but unfortunately not until Mum comes out of quarantine which is about another 4 weeks due to hospital appointments. However it is at least light at the end of the tunnel but I am still keeping my fingers crossed
We did have a discussion whether Mum should leave the quarantine area but it would only be for 10 days and we agreed it could lead to confusion. Also the ‘friend’ she made in quarantine 2 weeks ago is (unfortunately for them) back in quarantine as well so it does have the potential to be a better scenario for her.
there is also a fantastic agency Carer in the quarantine area who has been doing amongst other things, crafting with my Mum to make Easter decorations, brought some flowers in from her own garden so Mum could arrange them, and also got Mum and another resident planting seeds. she took loads of photos and Mum generally seemed engaged. We are hoping that they will employ her permanently. The other Carer Mum likes is also back after an illness and was doing some shifts in the quarantine area so again it gives me some confidence.
on the concerning side they have mentioned that Mum is not eating a lot and telling them she does not want her meal as she has already eaten it. They are obviously keeping a close eye on this change of behaviour.
However the good news is, after lots of nagging I have been granted essential Carer giver status but unfortunately not until Mum comes out of quarantine which is about another 4 weeks due to hospital appointments. However it is at least light at the end of the tunnel but I am still keeping my fingers crossed
We did have a discussion whether Mum should leave the quarantine area but it would only be for 10 days and we agreed it could lead to confusion. Also the ‘friend’ she made in quarantine 2 weeks ago is (unfortunately for them) back in quarantine as well so it does have the potential to be a better scenario for her.
there is also a fantastic agency Carer in the quarantine area who has been doing amongst other things, crafting with my Mum to make Easter decorations, brought some flowers in from her own garden so Mum could arrange them, and also got Mum and another resident planting seeds. she took loads of photos and Mum generally seemed engaged. We are hoping that they will employ her permanently. The other Carer Mum likes is also back after an illness and was doing some shifts in the quarantine area so again it gives me some confidence.
on the concerning side they have mentioned that Mum is not eating a lot and telling them she does not want her meal as she has already eaten it. They are obviously keeping a close eye on this change of behaviour.
Breakthrough with the Essential Care Giver status ? well done . It does sound strangely that quarantine is a better place for her at the moment with the two nice carers being there and engaging Mum . There really are some lovely carers out there that go above and beyond . It is a concern about the eating , hope they manage to tempt her with different ideas . My mum seems to forget there is a sandwich on her plate , or doesn’t see it , she eats half but leaves the rest until I remind her , soon spots chocolate or cake though ! Hope the next hospital visit goes well and Mum can rejoin the rest of the residents and your regular visits go well ?
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Brilliant news about being granted Essential Care Giver, that will make things so much easier for you and better for your mum.
Strange that quarantine seems the best place for your mum. Glad the nice carer is doing activities with your mum. Good news about the essential carer status too.
Sorry I should explain regarding the quarantine set up @Woo2 @Sarasa The Home has a slightly strange policy with quarantine but to me in many ways in works for Mum generally. Being new they have an empty wing that they use for quarantine. Resident gets a room down there plus access to the lounge in the wing. Residents are meant to socially distance whilst in quarantine (and we all know how well that works with dementia) but at least generally they will have company rather than being isolated in their own room. In addition if there are only 2 residents in there then they also get a lot of quality time with the Carer - well the good Carers anyway.
And I have just learn it gets even better - they are giving me essential care giver status whilst Mum is in quarantine as well, but I do generally have to try and stay in Mum’s room for the visit whilst she is in quarantine. So fantastic news.
Allegedly nothing to do with Mum refusing her 2nd vaccination and them wanting me to be there if possible for the retry
And I have just learn it gets even better - they are giving me essential care giver status whilst Mum is in quarantine as well, but I do generally have to try and stay in Mum’s room for the visit whilst she is in quarantine. So fantastic news.
Allegedly nothing to do with Mum refusing her 2nd vaccination and them wanting me to be there if possible for the retry
Even better news @Bikerbeth ? of course it’s nothing to do with the jab, how cynical ? (make you right)
thats really good news and at least your mum will be able to see you and not be on her own endlessly. if you manage for your mum to have the second jab, thats a bonus.
