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Yes, obsessing about the neighbours for sure, 'why aren't they home from work yet, its late'. Inappropriate comments loudly about peoples appearance, size. Hiding things, purse, handbag, keys, glasses.
The walking behind you was interesting as my wife walks very slowly and although I hold her hand and she walks with a stick always tending to be just behind me. I said when we got home I would make her comfortable in the house and I would go for a brisk walk.I couldn't b elieve what happened next as she said I can walk faster and speeded up like I had not seen for a long time.she obviously did not want to be left at home.A damaged brain works in strange ways.My mum has so many, that its only being on here that I have realised
- Walking behind me, I slowed, she slowed, I stopped, she stopped ( possibly unaware where we were going)
- Eating sweet stuff ( 6 cream eggs in 2 days - I had never seem mum eat chocolate at all at this time)
- Started drinking coffee after never drinking tea or coffee for about 30 years.
- Going to the bank and withdrawing large sums of money every week but still using card for all purchases
- Getting obsessed with money, checking bank statements over and over
- Stashing money around the house
- Started smoking !!!
- Hiding things, purse, hearing aid, glasses, bank statements then believing they had been stolen (often by me)
- Forgetting appointments/Restaurant plans, then accuse me of not telling her
- Declining or cancelling going out ( too tired/headache/just eaten etc etc)
- Complaining about ailments, feeling dizzy/lightheaded ( I think to divert conversation if it got difficult)
- Began obsessing about neighbours, exaggerating minor details into dramas
- Saying things in exactly the same way, same words, when telling a story, or recounting a memory ( almost like a script) so much so I could almost tell it along side her.
- Inappropriate comments, made loudly in quiet rooms ( doctors surgery 'they dont even look sick, why are they wasting time here' restaurant ' those children should learn how to behave, its the parents fault' ) very out of character.
- changing history....and being adamant she wasnt wrong...this was a hard one to 'let go' for me, till I realised what the problem was and caused so many disagreements between us
- Eating the same food over and over again, while still buying the same varied things she always did but then throwing it away or pushing it to the back of the cupboard.
I am constantly following my wife round the house switching off lights and closing doors,draws and putting away things just left laying around ready to be tripped up over.if I mention any of these the standard answer is ."I was just going to do that"My Mum also started to have a sweet tooth. After a lifetime of no sugar in tea she started taking artificial sweetener. Also, after a lifetime of having to be frugal with electricity, she would leave a room and leave the lights on so the whole house was lit up.
their bones are so delicate. i hope your mum gets better soon and her wrist heals properly. nice that your mum was calm with you. you must be a source of comfort to herThe good news on the Tuesday visit was that finger was unbandaged and was just a time scab or as Mum put it ‘I don’t know why they drew a bumpy line on my finger’
Mum was having problems hearing me behind the screen. I think her ears had got waxy as she would rub them and say they were a bit better when the ‘crackles’ went so I mentioned to staff afterwards.
I think she was a bit low as she did not chatter as much and certainly was not grumpy.
Last night I received a phone call from the home telling me Mum had had a fall and hit her head whilst walking in a corridor. They were waiting for the ambulance to arrive as Mum is on anti coagulant medication and she was also ‘nursing’ her left hand. They asked if I would be willing to go to the hospital so I said Yes of course.
Phone call an hour later Mum is refusing to go in the ambulance - all she wants to do is go to bed. They ask me to speak to her and I tried to persuade her without success. I spoke to the paramedic and they were concerned about her head due to above. I spoke to staff and I said I would come to the home if they would let me speak to her in the ‘visiting area’. Got half way there and they rang to say she was heading to the ambulance. Well done to whoever persuaded her (will try and find out today) So I diverted to hospital. Met the ambulance outside A&E (originally I had been told by ambulance staff I would not be allowed into hospital due to policy - how wicked is that but to be fair they did not know originally how much support Mum needs) but then the paramedics did realise that Mum did need support and the A&E staff had no problems with it. Fortunately they had agreed to take her to the hospital nearest me who seem very dementia friendly (rather than the bigger teaching hospital which I think is a bit stricter) Apart from a desperate need to go to the toilet on arrival Mum was actually fine herself although a bit teary understandably. For someone who has always been impatient she was remarkably patient.
The result was a minor fracture to her left wrist (unfortunately she is left handed), a bit of a cut on her elbow but the brain scan was all clear which was good. She is now is a plaster cast. Of course this means she will go in their quarantine ‘wing’. The good thing about the home being new is one of the floors is empty so they use it for quarantining. So Mum will at least be able to leave her ‘temp’ room and go into a lounge area. Obviously the bad is that she is isolated again. On the basis that the cast removal will require a trip back to the hospital and perhaps one more I am dreading that it might be a long stay on her own. I hope the home will let me visit more on that basis.
Mum remained calm in the hospital. Though every time we saw someone eg, triage nurse, nurse who took her for X-ray she would say ‘right are we off then’ but when I would say No we need to wait for results she was fine about it.
fortunately Mum took the time to have a chatter to me (mainly nonsensical) which did keep me awake as we were there from 10pm until 3am. I think if she had slept I would have found it harder to stay awake myself so that was a blessing. We did have about 5 different versions of the accident.
Rang Care Home up at 3am to say I was bringing her back and initially they sounded surprised as they had expected her to stay in hospital, (at least they had packed her a small bag with pj’s and change of clothes) turns out they were short staffed and obviously then having Mum go into quarantine and needing a carer in there 1:1 it was pushing them to the limit. To be fair to the all the staff at the home, they were excellent. We did have to wait in the car for 5 mins whilst they got sorted and it was the only time Mum got grumpy - I think by that time she was getting tired and cold (despite car heating on full blast) as we could not get her cardi and coat done up properly.