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Sugar in her coffee

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Aww bless what a worry for you beth, hopefully reducing her blood pressure tablets will help and if DRs review all her medication they may get her back on an even keel. Good to hear she was happier later on, hope she feels better soon. Also god you got to talk to someone informative as I know in past some of staff haven't been very good at keeping you informed 🤗 🤗
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Thank you everyone. The meds were reviewed last week and the decision made then to reduce the Trazodone and then different Dr decided to reduce the statins. I guess it will take a bit of time to see what works and hopefully still a full meds review this week.
I rang and talked nicely to member of staff in charge of visits to see if I could be fitted in today and as Mum is still in quarantine until Tuesday they said I could go for 30 mins. Arrived to be advised that Mum had fainted and would have fallen if it had not been for the night Carer who was steadying her to the bathroom at 7.30am. When arrived at 11am she was still very confused and disorientated. I knew it would happen one day but Mum did not recognise me or even respond to my voice 😥
I tried to talk to her and the lovely receptionist sat holding Mum’s hand which seemed to reassure her but she just kept saying she was going home on the bus. We did of course suggest she stayed for lunch.
Her Carer told me that he had managed to get Mum to have shower and washed her hair as he thought it might make her feel better but alsoabout 9am she had become very aggressive and tried to hit him several times. Fortunately he managed to keep out of the way so remained unhurt but was worried that she might fall again. He really is brilliant. Anyway the nurse came along and they were going to test for UTI.
As the next set of visitors arrived and Mum said she was tired they were going to take her back to bed for awhile so I left.
I drove to nearest lay by and just cried. I just so wanted to just sit and hold her hand.
Carer rang me this afternoon and said Mum tested positive for UTI and they had organised some antibiotics and that Mum was much brighter now. He did pass the phone to Mum to speak to me but she was just cross with me for not visiting ‘as I had promised’ !!!
I have a visit booked for Tuesday morning before they move Mum out of quarantine. Hopefully it will still go ahead. Not sure like many what will happen through lockdown and/or if she has these episodes again whether they would be able to bring her downstairs to see me. No point in worrying though as not much I can do until I know.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
853
Sorry that the visit went badly @Bikerbeth . I suppose it's good that your mum's aggression was probably due to a UTI and is no doubt the reason she didn't respond to you. UTI's are the devil's invention.

I hope the antibiotics due the trick - and that you have a good visit on Tuesday, - and that the med's review works out well.

A lot of hoping in this game - and crying in cars.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Aww 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 Hugs for you and your mum @Bikerbeth I'm not surprised you went and cried, its so sad not to be able to hug and comfort your mum when she isn't well and upset, this virus really is the pits.!!! 🤗🤗 It sounds like that carer is really good and caring with your mum which is good.
Wonder if the infection is also contributing to the fainting a bit too? I hope the antibiotics help your mum feel better soon. The UTI probably explains her being aggressive and more confused than usual and not knowing you but it's still upsetting for you both. 🤗🤗Hopefully they will have started working by tomorrows visit and it will go better. 🤞
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Sorry that the visit went badly @Bikerbeth . I suppose it's good that your mum's aggression was probably due to a UTI and is no doubt the reason she didn't respond to you. UTI's are the devil's invention.

I hope the antibiotics due the trick - and that you have a good visit on Tuesday, - and that the med's review works out well.

A lot of hoping in this game - and crying in cars.
Yes UTI’s are definitely the devil’s invention and certainly turn Mum into a person she was not
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Funny you mention the infection and the fainting @annielou as the Care Home called the Paramedics out today. Again everything was normal by the time they arrived. They suggested that the Infection might be causing the fainting. If so then the fainting should stop within 48 hrs of the antibiotics being taken. I will keep my fingers crossed that, that is what it is. However a little seed of doubt is nagging me as infection = increase in aggression. Mum has only been aggressive 24hrs but fainting episodes have been happening for over a week.
I guess I need to stop speculating and wait and see. Just worried now that lockdown might mean no visits. I guess we all feel so hopeless sometimes.
Thank you for the hugs
 

Hayley JS

Registered User
Feb 20, 2020
177
My stepdads blood pressure often dropped when he stood up which caused him to momentarily pass out. One memorable occasion he had the great misfortune to faint by the old brick hearth. He was a big bloke, put a right dent in the gas fire and made a hell of a mess of his face on the brickwork. I remember I was furious with him because I was so upset, I don't 'do' blood! He didn't have dementia, he died 7 years ago after a fall led to complications, I miss him still. Sorry that wasn't very helpful was it!! Hope your mums better today and your visit goes well
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
I hope your mum is feeling better and antibiotics starting to work when you visit today @Bikerbeth x hope they don’t stop visits🤞 Your poor mums had a rough few weeks lately with her infection, hospital appointments, quarantine, eye appointment, the fainting and UTI and it’s must be worrying time for you too, I really hope she improves and feels better soon 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Sorry to hear about Mums fainting and uti :( I too hope they are starting to have an effect and mum is feeling better soon . Big hugs🤗 Beth , take care.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
590
I hope your visit managed to go ahead today @Bikerbeth and the antibiotics have sorted the uti and aggression. It's a worry about the "fainting", my mum has something called "postural drop"? She gets dizzy when she gets up too quickly, all we can do is remind her to hold her frame whilst she stands, but I worry others not always around to remind her. Hope your mum is not experiencing the fainting on a regular basis, and it was a "blip" with medication .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Thank you @Hayley JS the way you told me made me smile a little for the description of ‘right dent in the gas fire’ and ‘I don’t do blood’. It is strange how we get mad sometimes when somebody we love hurts themselves
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Your poor mums had a rough few weeks lately with her infection, hospital appointments, quarantine, eye appointment, the fainting and UTI and it’s must be worrying time for you too, I really hope she improves and feels better soon 🤞
That made me smile as today Mum said to me that she was bored as nothing ever happens !
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Thank you for your kind wishes and hugs @Woo2
I too worry @anxious annie if Mum gets up too quickly and the staff are not there at the time. It does sound like the ‘postural drop’ you mentioned and hence why they took her off the statins for her high blood pressure. The staff and I are also worried about how long it took her to ‘come round’ each time. It really seemed like ‘someone’ had given her a large dose of sedatives each time.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Fingers crossed no episode yesterday although she was quite muddled generally yesterday. Hopefully this means that the antibiotics are kicking in. Will also have to check tomorrow what changes were made to her medication and see if that also helped. Maybe a proper full medication review has taken place!
She was still cross that she had not had a big family birthday - I am hoping that when the Activities Coordinator does her ‘belated afternoon tea party’ she might forget the other
I asked if Mum could be taken walks in the garden again as she keeps saying she wants to go for a walk outside. Senior Carer says she will look into it providing the fainting episodes stop. Not so good though was when I asked if mum would be able to see her friend that she made in quarantine. ‘Friend’ is non dementia so consequently she is on a different floor to Mum. To try and reduce any potential outbreak of COVID they are keeping residents and staff separate on the various floors. I understand as it does seem a sensible measure but on the other hand it is a shame for Mum.
spent the day at Mum’s bungalow putting heating on low and bringing some more things back to mine. Decided when lockdown ends we are just going to hire a van and do the rest in one hit.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
Ah that’s a shame Mum can’t meet her new friend , maybe it time they can facilitate it 🤞good to hear no episodes yesterday and that AB’s are kicking in , let’s hope the medication review you have been asking for has finally been done . Getting a van and doing Mums in one hit sounds good idea .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,766
Yorkshire
Hope your mums antibiotics are starting to work and the episodes subside soon, good news she didn't have one yesterday. Thats a shame she can't mix with friend at moment I hops she can again soon 🤞 🤗
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,706
Bedford
Thank you @Woo2 and @annielou. So today I had a phone call with Mum which started out lovely and we were both having a laugh. Suddenly it all changed to ‘you would come and visit me today if you wanted to’. I said I would love to but I was working. She then said I was lying and I didn’t want to see her and that nobody else came to see her and then she started crying. I told her I loved her and I was ringing her coz I liked talking to her. Then she started again that if I wanted to see her I would make the time. I started crying and she is crying and then she just said goodbye and put the phone down. So I dwell on her words (yes I know it is the dementia and not Mum) and feel guilty most of the day.
However tonight on the Care Home FB page there is Mum smiling, laughing and joining in the Nov 5th events at the home. I am glad she was happy though but I need to stop beating myself up about not always getting it right
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,958
South East
🤗 Knowing and accepting it are completely different and I’m sorry you felt bad earlier . We do like to give ourselves a hard time . Good to hear mum joining in the activities and I’m sure she has long since forgotten she was upset , whilst you are left to stew . Hopefully you can think of the photos to allay your worries a little . Take care and be kind to yourself .