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Sugar in her coffee

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Great to hear Mum can get her haircut and stay where she is until after op 👍 Fab news you passed with flying colour , will you believe now it’s in black and white ?! Congrats & well done🥳🤩
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
500
Well done!! You must be a very good rider!!!
It does make sense not to move your mum, maybe it’s that she seeks solitude? I know as much as I like people I love being quiet and alone. (with a cat or two)
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Thank you all I still have a big smile on my face this morning. Due to Covid they cannot put it in black and white and give you the result on the day @Woo2 so I have to wait 2 weeks or so for a certificate in the post.
@Starting on a journey - I think she likes watching what is going on In the outside world as well as the fact that it is quieter
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Brilliant - Mum got her hair cut finally. It was funny though after months of saying that she wanted her hair cut she told the hairdresser she only needed a little trim and not to cut it too short. The activities coordinator sent me a photo and Mum had a big smile on her face.

Good and Bad news - I was told by another resident’s daughter whose Mum (Non Dementia but nearly deaf) is also in quarantine that they are sitting together quite happily ‘chatting away’ ! holding hands and looking after each other. I just hope when they both come out of quarantine that the staff ensure they continue to meet up as they are on different floors.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Glad your mum got her hair cut thats good news, funny that she forgot she'd moaning about it and only asked for a trim bless her. I suppose that's dementia eh, my mum would likely do that. Its so nice she has made a friend in quarantine, it is a shame they will split up when go back in to main home, hopefully they may let them meet afterwards 🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Great news about haircut , another one here , Mum told hairdresser cut it short , I mouthed no so she didn’t but mum kept on about it so last time I told her to do as mum asked , today she came again and mum said take it shorter :rolleyes: Later this afternoon she says “what colour is my hair “ . That is so sweet about the friendship they have , I too hope the staff facilitate their meeting again🤞
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Hope all is ok with you . Was thinking earlier about your mum and hoping she is still seeing her friend from quarantine .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
OH and I went to Cornwall for a week which was lovely. Although I told Mum I was away with work for a week and kept reminding her on the phone she got really upset when I did not visit her. Fortunately Carer the next day warned me so I started the phone conversation with lots of apologies and she was fine. She just said she had been worried about me. I was still ringing every other day.
so I went to visit her on Tuesday morning and she had forgotten about her friend (who had left quarantine the day before). We had a bit of a random conversation which was fine but she was not very pleased when I had to leave due to the next visitor arriving. I had told her I was coming back in the afternoon to take her to hospital and I repeated it again.
When I arrived back to collect her she was giving the poor Carer an ‘ear bashing’ as he was trying to get her to take her dressing gown off (she suddenly taken to wearing it all the time with her day clothes underneath) and put her coat on. So standing outside the patio doors I just said In my stern voice ‘I am not taking you in your dressing gown and if you don’t want your coat on that is fine I will put it in the back of the car‘. So off came the dressing gown quickly.
Unfortunately hospital appointment was a disaster. Appointments were running late so every 10 minutes Mum was asking me to check that she had not been forgotten. It was also a waiting area for all different treatments so she did not understand why other people were seen quicker than her. We eventually got to see the nurse who did an eye sight and other tests and confirmed Mum was suitable for the treatment. We were then advised Mum would have to wait 30 mins for the drops to work. We were also told to go through the consent form. So I am trying to read the procedure information (4pages) and the consent form (3 pages) whilst keeping Mum distracted and of course answer ‘can you check with the reception as I think they have forgotten me’ loop. As time went on and headed past 4pm Mum became more agitated and confused. A nurse did come over and apologise for the delay which did calm Mum a little. We got called in by the Dr but he was concerned that Mum could not really give her consent and we should have been given a different form and a double appointment so that it all could have done with less stress. He was happy to continue to try but would need the consultant to also be involved. As he had to leave the room a couple of times Mum became more agitated and started to get paranoid. She did say she would do it if I thought it was the right thing to do. I said I thought it was. However by the time Dr came back with consultant Mum was shaking, crying and was totally muddled. I told them i thought at this point we should not proceed and they agreed. They advised they do have a procedure for dementia patients including Morning appointments to keep the wait time down and because they understand about sundowning. I did say I had mentioned when booking the appointment that Mum had Alzheimer’s but it appeared the system failed Mum. We could ask to be referred again however the eye test showed her left eye is fine and she can read although her right eye vision is ‘misty’ so i think it is now time to call it a day. I do worry whether this is the right decision and as many others say it is far harder to make the decision for someone else than for yourself.
we did try and get a take away coffee before heading back to the home but it was too late and the queue at that famous burger chain was horrendous. On the good side as we were waiting for OH to pick us up we had a little walk which Mum liked and I am not sure how, but we got her laughing on the drive back.
of course when I rang yesterday she had forgotten all about it.
thank you @Woo2 , @annielou and @Sarasa for asking.
i had a phone call to say Mum had had a fall today. She was having her lunch and decided she needed the loo, got up and caught her foot on a table leg. Apparently she said she was ok and the more fuss they made the more angry she got. Incident report completed and they were going to try and check her over later.
 
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Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,035
Glad you had a week away to get away from mum related stuff for a bit. What a disaster with the appointment, but good they are usually aware of the needs of people with dementia. I guess if her left eye starts to deteriorate you might need to rethink.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,987
South East
Cornwall for a week .... 👍 ☺ sounds fab . Such a shame about the hospital appointment , good to hear they have things in place for Dementia, sorry it didn’t work well for you on this occasion . You did well to get mum through it and laughing on the way home . How is the new bike ?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
@Sarasa and @Woo2 the hospital was excellent when Mum went to A&E and those follow up appointments. Perhaps Apointments and Receptionists just need a little more awareness.
The new bike is lovely. Just done about 200 miles on it as Cornwall was by car.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,774
Yorkshire
Sorry the hospital appointment went so badly wrong. Mum hates waiting and always thinks she's been forgotten and people are going in before her too. It must have been really hard trying to read all that paperwork and keep your mum calm. Also that must have been really frustrating after you mentioned your mum had Alzheimer's when booked appointment to find out they could have offered you morning and double appointment. Its no use DR telling you that when you're there, the people arranging appointment maybe need reminding of it.
I was a bit peeved when mum and I went to city hospital as I told them before we went and during visit that mum had alzheimers and I had to go with her yet I still got asked why I was with her and told I couldn't go in one of the rooms with them but then afterwards he told me mum had told him something wrong. I reminded him I'd told him mum had alzheimers and wouldn't be able to answer any questions properly. :rolleyes: 😞
So hard to make decisions on someone elses behalf but it seems that your mum is managing ok with her eye as it is and may be easier to manage than trauma of appointments 🤗
Hope your mum is ok after her fall today x. Mum fell this week too, it's a worry isn't it.
Glad you got away with your hubby for a lovely break 👍
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
500
It’s maddening, I don’t think my mum could wait long now, her patience is better than it was two years ago but not good. Anyway why should the elderly have to wait, even if they are well. Why don’t they ring to check the appointment time is ok?
I had a similar conversation with the receptionist at the doctors about mums flu jab. I said I would have to go in with her......( I think the world imploded at that point) they put her on the list for the district nurses ( not seen yet)
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Mum seems fine after her fall and I hope yourMum is too @annielou.
We had our flu jabs at the local fire station this year. It was like a walk in ‘drive thru’ under a covered but open area. Confirm your details, walk into the nurse who gave you the injection and then the fireman asked you if you had fIre alarms Installed and if you wanted a home check :) Not suggesting that was suitable for your Mum though @Starting on a journey
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,711
Bedford
Well finally it happened. I met brother at Mum’s bungalow. We went through everything to decide what we would like, what for charity and rubbish.
I guess as I had already done a lot of sorting it did not take long and we had booked 2 trips to the ‘tip’. Fortunately no arguments or disagreements which made it easier.
He loaded up his van and I filled my little car. Will call charity tomorrow to book a house clearance to see what they will take. I probably still have 2 car loads to collect from there due to car size as I would like to keep her kitchen table and chairs as she had good taste and I have always liked it.
I just wish this had been done 3 months ago.
Yesterday was Mum’s birthday and we get to visit today. I go at 10.15 and then brother at 10.45. They have agreed to us having a short overlap.