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Sugar in her coffee

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Recipe pls........ cheated tonight used a ready made pasta sauce with chilli in it but I added some garlic in the hope that it sorts both of us out
Roast a bulb of garlic, 3 onions halved, & a little olive oil sprinkled with seasoning 150 degrees covered with tinfoil 45 mins.
boil a chicken carcass ( if you don’t have a chicken carcass a couple of bone in chicken thighs/ legs or pre made stock or stock cubes) 2 carrots 2 onions 2 sticks of celery plus any other veg in the fridge that needs using. Cover with water add mixed herbs & peppercorns a bay leaf If you have one & a couple of cloves of garlic. Simmer till chicken cooked about 45 minutes. Drain stock & discard everything bar the chicken meat. Add the roasted onion to stock & squeeze out the roasted garlic into stock. Blitz together & add cooked chicken & add salt & pepper to taste, drop of sherry/ white wine/ brandy & some cream or creme fraiche.

believe me this is the biz for blitzing bugs & colds.
Roasting the garlic makes it sweet

feel better soon
Xx
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,141
I use echinacea but unfortunately honey and myself do not like each other. The cold is on its way out Thankfully as I promised Mum I would visit her tomorrow. Mum had asked Carers to ring me today as she was adamant that someone had stolen her engagement ring. Carers had checked her inventory and knew she does not have it with her. They had tried to calm her, distract her but she was just so distraught and kept asking for me. We had a chat and I told her that the ring was safe and I would show her tomorrow and she calmed down. Basically it won’t fit over her knuckle joint so she can’t wear it anymore and wanted me to keep it safe but had obviously forgotten.
Even if the ring did fit, you've given the very reason to avoid having jewelry in a care home - it's likely to go missing and the PWD will fret about it. At least you could tell her you have it safely! Glad your cold is on the way out.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Roast a bulb of garlic, 3 onions halved, & a little olive oil sprinkled with seasoning 150 degrees covered with tinfoil 45 mins.
boil a chicken carcass ( if you don’t have a chicken carcass a couple of bone in chicken thighs/ legs or pre made stock or stock cubes) 2 carrots 2 onions 2 sticks of celery plus any other veg in the fridge that needs using. Cover with water add mixed herbs & peppercorns a bay leaf If you have one & a couple of cloves of garlic. Simmer till chicken cooked about 45 minutes. Drain stock & discard everything bar the chicken meat. Add the roasted onion to stock & squeeze out the roasted garlic into stock. Blitz together & add cooked chicken & add salt & pepper to taste, drop of sherry/ white wine/ brandy & some cream or creme fraiche.

believe me this is the biz for blitzing bugs & colds.
Roasting the garlic makes it sweet

feel better soon
Xx
Thank you for the recipe
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Even if the ring did fit, you've given the very reason to avoid having jewelry in a care home - it's likely to go missing and the PWD will fret about it. At least you could tell her you have it safely! Glad your cold is on the way out.
True indeed with regards to the ring. It may cause a problem in the longer term but again because of her knuckle joint she can’t actually take her wedding ring of so at least no fear of loosing it.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
So today’s visit was interesting (?) as usually I go in the morning and I am usually gone by 3pm. However today due the excitement of a dental appointment I headed to the CH after lunch. She did mention the ring once but otherwise did not seem anxious about it anymore. She said she would like to go for a walk so we walked into the town stopping for coffee and cake. Mum gets people and words mixed up but is generally quite good with her past but today on the way back she asked me if she had 3 children (only me and my brother as far as I am aware) Then she spent the half hour walk back happily chatting telling me that her sister had been married to her great uncle (not true) who had been a Calvary officer in WW1 (true) and that her Dad had been in the navy in WW1 (not true as far as I know) and that her Dad had been married to her Auntie W. She also told me that the hostel she now lives in was a Manor House that was bombed in the war and needs redecoration as it is looking a bit shabby and she is fed up having to wait until 9pm to get her tea and she wishes that the lady next door stopped having lots of men in her room late at night watching the football as it keeps her awake.
As soon as we Went through the doors of the CH conversation went back to normal. It was all quiet strange.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,021
Sounds like your mum was in sundowning mode yesterday @Bikerbeth. Good she was happy to be back to care home. My mother doesn't seem to recognise different bits of the home now, so when we're in the coffee shop bit downstairs, she thinks it is somewhere totally different from her floor. On Monday she was telling me how the shop had declined, but it was on the way back up now. I just nodded.
Glad she wasn't too worried about her ring anymore. Mum still wears an emerald ring she brought herself years ago (I haven't seen her engagement ring in years). Sometimes she thinks my dad gave it to her, sometimes her mum. I have wondered about trying to get her to give it to me for safekeeping, but I think that would just upset her.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
747
Yorkshire
Definately sounds like an interesting chat Bikerbeth. Its weird how the brain can mix up and alter memories like that. Like sarasa said probably sundowning, or maybe the dentist visit and trip out excited and tired her brain a bit more than normal so she couldn't keep track of the past as well as usual.
Mum often mixes up timings from the past as if they all happened at the same time, like when I'm her friend (from 30 years ago) and her mum has just died (from 45 years ago) but she lives with her mum who is still alive (53 years ago) and also has 2 daughters in their early 20s which is about (25 year ago). All different time frames but they can all be happening in the same conversation at the same time. It can be quite mind boggling to keep up with. Its often in the afternoon when she gets most mixed up sundowning, or on days where done things or has somewhere to go/something to do.
Other times she mixes up things she's seen on tv or read in magazine into her conversation, like when she asked if hubby was going to leave work now he wasn't going to be a prince when she'd seen on news earlier harry and meghan wanted to step back from royal life and one day she asked me about my dolls and how many I had now, I eventually remembered she had read about a lady in take a break earlier in the day who had about 10 or 11 reborn dolls she dressed as babies and mum thought it was me.:eek::D
I dream a lot and usually remember one or two the next day (though not as much lately) when I first remember them I think well that was weird but as I think about them I can usually pick out little bits from that have reasons they are in my head, like something I saw on tv, read about, did or talked ,or thought about the day before. I quite like figuring out where the bits came from and when mum has weird conversations I tend to try and do the same. It serves no purpose, it doesn't matter to mum and most times unless she asks why did she say that I don't even tell her, but I like to know reasons for things and I just like to do it .
I'm sorry I seem to have rambled a bit there, and gone a bit of topic I think too :oops:
Anyway it sounds like an interesting conversation and although it was probably sundowning or a bit of over stimulation its good that your mum seemed happy enough and enjoyed being out with you and felt settled when she returned home. x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
I set up a year’s subscription in the middle of last year to People’s friend magazine for Mum which is now redirected to me which I take to Mum. I am now wondering @annielou whether I need to read it all before I take it into her.!!!!! As you say though it is strange when the ‘time frames’ become all mixed up and you are trying to keep up with them. Yes it was definitely a case of sundowning and I guess why I try and avoid late afternoon visits.
Will have another one tomorrow afternoon as there is a relatives meeting at 6.30pm and to be honest I don’t want to make 2 separate visits
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Mum is definitely worse in the afternoon. We had tales of people were going to have needles put in their feet and she did not want that. I told her that would not happen to her because they could only change her medicines or such if they talked to us both first and they hadn’t. She seemed happy with that but no idea where it came from. Headed off to a local Retail Park just to have a wander round and again Mum seemed quite content. Mum used to do a lot of dress making and she was quite happy discussing dress styles and what she would do to make them look better. In between though we did have some more strange conversation including one to do with football matches in the room next to hers and that one was planned for tonight. I did ask the staff if they had any ideas where it came from but they have no idea either. Mum only has one neighbour who goes to bed about 7pm so not quite a football fanatic watching TV at midnight loudly.
Relatives meeting as someone on here previously suggested was indeed about food. However in this case quite productive but going forward I can see that potential for conflict
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
747
Yorkshire
Afternoons/evenings are definately mums worse times too, although I did notice while staying there she gets up in the morning a bit thoughtful, like her brain is groggy when she always used to be awake and with it early and she also got a bit grumpily confused after her shower too. Afternoons are definately worse though, its usually the time the mixed up stories and memories come out and her worries start.
When we visited the day centre the other month the manager said that's why it finished mid afternoon because the visitors were usually getting tired and struggled if they stayed much later.
I wonder where the football thing is coming from with your mum, if its some old memory, or if its something shes seen, read, or heard about someone else suffering with noisy football watching neighbours? I don't suppose it matters really but its funny what they come out with isn't it.
I hope she doesn't get too upset about it. Its good that on the whole she seemed content though and she obviously enjoys your visits and outings x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
It is funny sometimes what they come out with @annielou. She also told me that she had driven up to the retail park with her Mum a few weeks ago. However what was then amazing - the retail park has a bit of an obscure back exit and although she has only been there 3 times and last time must be 6 months ago she told me exactly where to go to get out.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
747
Yorkshire
"However what was then amazing - the retail park has a bit of an obscure back exit and although she has only been there 3 times and last time must be 6 months ago she told me exactly where to go to get out"

:eek: that is amazing ! X
 
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Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,021
Your mum might be mixing things up from the TV with real life @Bikerbeth. Needles in the feet sounds a but like a programme on acupuncture and there could have been a football match on in the lounge before she went to bed. My mum was telling me all about the strange windows in Swindon the other day, not sure where that came from.
I went to see the new David Copperfield last night. Though I'm a retired librarian and avid read Dickens isn't really my thing so I don't know the book well. Mum has been saying for ages every time one the carers re-introduces himself, 'that's a character in David Copperfield', it's an unusual name and she's right.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Well today was never going to be brilliant. Sleepless night due to OH unable to shift his cough so today’s visit felt like a chore from the start. Mum was standing by the door of her floor ‘waiting for someone to let her downstairs’ but Carers were all busy. During the week she often sits downstairs in the coffee area if there is nothing else going on as there are enough people to keep an eye out for her. Anyway I told her to get her coat and we would go out in the car. So we headed off to a pretty village with a few shops but no cafe having a natter about the pretty houses, church etc. Back in the car and onto a garden centre for tea and scones. Not sure if Mum’s mood changed as she knew we were heading back to the CH afterwards or whether it was because she said her scone was stale (we had different types) but she went quiet and it was hard to get her to engage in anything I said. As we were driving back Mum suddenly released her seatbelt and I suppose because I was surprised I just sort of shouted at her to put in back on. Which was stupid because she can’t do it up anyway and obviously shouting did not help anything. I managed to pull into a side road and help her put it back on and of course poor Mum starts crying and saying she was sorry for causing trouble and being naughty but it was hurting her. We get back to the CH and then to make it even worse the lady she likes least on her floor is ‘sitting in her chair’ at the lunch table. The lady in question had been sat there by one of the Carers who thought we had changed our minds about coming back for lunch as we were about 5 mins late. Left an unhappy Mum who didn’t want a hug off me and I forgot to tell her I love her. As I was leaving one of the other staff was going to take another lady up to the supermarket later in the afternoon and said she would take Mum too. Hopefully when that happened Mum would be a bit happier again and it will ease my guilt for shouting at her. Note to self - make sure Mum is comfortable with seatbelt to avoid it happening again. Like they say - the morning out will be forgotten but not the upset which is why I always try and leave with ‘I love you’ and a hug
 
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CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
153
Oh, that's difficult for you. I'm sorry to hear your visit wasn't so good today.

On the seatbelt thing, I often find them uncomfortable and I use a sheepskin pad, about 10 inches long, which fits around the belt and can slide up and down to ensure the belt doesn't cut into my neck. Might it be worth trying something similar with your mum? Mine's a real sheepskin one but you can get quite nice faux fur ones from Amazon, or probably from any motor spares shop or department.

Hope you find things better on your next visit.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,021
Sorry the visit wasn't great @Bikerbeth. Do you think your mum wasn't in a good mood from the start if no one was around to take her down? Mum used to hover by the lift looking for a chance to escape, as she wasn't allowed down to the ground floor without a member of staff. She used to press all the buttons and once actually hit on the right code to get the lift. Certainly the other day a new staff member was trying to head her off as I was taking her down and I had to explain it was Ok as she was with me. Poor woman was really embarrassed.
It's one of the downsides of that style of care home. We're probably going to moving a hundred plus miles away from where we are now this year and when we do we'll probably move mum as well. The lay-out of the home is something I will be looking at carefully when choosing somewhere else for mum.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
747
Yorkshire
Sorry it wasn't a good day yesterday Bikerbeth, that must have been quite a shock when mum released her seatbelt . No wonder you shouted I think that would be natural reflex reaction.
Your mum might have just been having an off it day, that to her had had a bad start, its hard when they can't tell you why they are quiet or upset properly isn't it. Hopefully after lunch she will have been distracted with the supermarket visit and if she remembers any upset feeling she might associate it with the lady in her chair at lunchtime. If the seatbelt was tight, digging in or rubbing her the seatbelt cover might be a good idea.
I saw these on wilko site, bet they have them at halfords, and on Amazon too as mentioned before
https://www.wilko.com/en-uk/wilko-seat-belt-pads-2-pack/p/0199296
hope you and mum are both ok today and next visit x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Sorry the visit wasn't great @Bikerbeth. Do you think your mum wasn't in a good mood from the start if no one was around to take her down? Mum used to hover by the lift looking for a chance to escape, as she wasn't allowed down to the ground floor without a member of staff. She used to press all the buttons and once actually hit on the right code to get the lift. Certainly the other day a new staff member was trying to head her off as I was taking her down and I had to explain it was Ok as she was with me. Poor woman was really embarrassed.
It's one of the downsides of that style of care home. We're probably going to moving a hundred plus miles away from where we are now this year and when we do we'll probably move mum as well. The lay-out of the home is something I will be looking at carefully when choosing somewhere else for mum.
I think you maybe right too. She was probably a bit fed up to start with. I did not handle it well at the time but at least I did not really beat myself up afterwards. Mum’s home has double doors with code and then the lift with code but it is sad to see them standing there like that. (Guilt trip)
It is interesting what you were saying about layout. A friend had a parent up in Lancashire and the home is laid out so the residents can basically keep walking round and round but they have also done things like paint a bus stop sign on the wall with a bench underneath. And as it is a courtyard shape residents can access the garden safely at any time in daylight hours. Almost worth moving to Lancashire for by all accounts.
I must admit I don’t envy you having to move yourselves and move your Mum but there again it may all work fantastically
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
Thanks @annielou for the Wilko link too. I will go and look tomorrow. Today we went back to Mum’s bungalow to check all is ok there. We also collected some of her ornaments to see if she wants to have some in her room. As Mum knows she is not returning there I would rather we just get it sold. However brother thinks maybe we should rent it out. I asked him if he was going to arrange it all as even fully managed means decisions and paperwork and tax man. We will need to decide soon though. It just seems to be dragging it all out and it’s another job for me to do (and due to distance another day out of my week each fortnight). Sorry to go on. It was not helped by the fact there had been a burglary across the road and the padlock on Mum’s gate had been broken so someone had been snooping around.