Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
Thank you @Sirena. I am glad your Mother is happy in her CH and it sounds like it was a lovely day yesterday.Mum would have lived a visit from a petting zoo. I hope you had a good day today.
I had said to Mum I would take her to a shopping centre after Christmas to spend her birthday money. However today did make me rethink and I have definitely now discounted a shopping centre. I think maybe a small retail park that is local to me with a couple of shops on and a cafe will be more than enough. When you mentioned your Mother not being able to cope with life outside it started me thinking that despite the complaints Mum actually does feel safer in the CH, if this is the case then I will be really pleased.
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
I rang Mum yesterday via the ‘floor’ phone to reminder her that we had a trip to the doctors today. She said ‘Thank you for letting me know’ and then said ‘I have to go now as there is a queue of people waiting to use the phone and it is unfair to stand and chat’. That was me dismissed.
Headed to CH an hour early to ensure she was all ready, to find Mrs Angry. She said she had got up and dressed at 3am as I had told her to, to ensure we were ready for the little man who was taking us. :rolleyes: Day carer said it was actually 7am and that she had given both her and one of the night time carer the complete runaround as they had tried to get her showered and dressed. If only I can remember what I said but she turned into all sweetness and light to me and carer visibly gave a sigh of relief. Headed up to the Doctors, sat waiting for 20 mins after appointment time and then told person was unable to come in today. As it was not an emergency we would have to make another appointment :(
Headed back to the home and had coffee in the cafe area and then headed back up to Mum’s room. She said she had a bag of stuff she did not want and could I take it away (which was mainly Christmas presents from brother and the care home) and then we ‘played’ tidy the room up whilst trying to find all the items that she said were missing. The good thing about Mum moving to the care home is at least there are slightly less places to hide things ;).
I was then honoured as she asked if I was staying for lunch. How could I refuse? Nice lunch and a happy Mum so I thought, time to leave whilst I was on a winning streak, having found all but 1 missing item. Quick text to brother who is visiting tomorrow to say I had taken one item he had brought Mum to exchange for something different as it did not fit and that I would ‘feed’ the fancy toiletries back to her room as she needed them as she had no where to store them. Mum only recognises her regular bottle of shampoo (not sure what happens if manufacturer changes the packaging) and will only use a particularly soap- so is basically confused with fancy shower gels and posh soaps etc. O well can’t complain too much about brother- 5 visits (7 days) this year rather than the previous once a year visit (3 days).
 
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annielou

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Sep 27, 2019
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Yorkshire
Glad to hear your mum had good Christmas day, only just read it today and it was nice to read a few peoples good days x
Shame you got Mrs Angry when you picked her up for appointment and it didnt even happen but glad she calmed down.
Maybe you could take one of each of your mums old bottles home when they are ready for replacing and then if can't get same bottles again you could decant new stuff into old bottle and take it in so mum doesnt notice the difference x
 

Dimpsy

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Sep 2, 2019
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I rang Mum yesterday via the ‘floor’ phone to reminder her that we had a trip to the doctors today. She said ‘Thank you for letting me know’ and then said ‘I have to go now as there is a queue of people waiting to use the phone and it is unfair to stand and chat’. That was me dismissed.
Headed to CH an hour early to ensure she was all ready, to find Mrs Angry. She said she had got up and dressed at 3am as I had told her to, to ensure we were ready for the little man who was taking us. :rolleyes: Day carer said it was actually 7am and that she had given both her and one of the night time carer the complete runaround as they had tried to get her showered and dressed. If only I can remember what I said but she turned into all sweetness and light to me and carer visibly gave a sigh of relief. Headed up to the Doctors, sat waiting for 20 mins after appointment time and then told person was unable to come in today. As it was not an emergency we would have to make another appointment :(
Headed back to the home and had coffee in the cafe area and then headed back up to Mum’s room. She said she had a bag of stuff she did not want and could I take it away (which was mainly Christmas presents from brother and the care home) and then we ‘played’ tidy the room up whilst trying to find all the items that she said were missing. The good thing about Mum moving to the care home is at least there are slightly less places to hide things ;).
I was then honoured as she asked if I was staying for lunch. How could I refuse? Nice lunch and a happy Mum so I thought, time to leave whilst I was on a winning streak, having found all but 1 missing item. Quick text to brother who is visiting tomorrow to say I had taken one item he had brought Mum to exchange for something different as it did not fit and that I would ‘feed’ the fancy toiletries back to her room as she needed them as she had no where to store them. Mum only recognises her regular bottle of shampoo (not sure what happens if manufacturer changes the packaging) and will only use a particularly soap- so is basically confused with fancy shower gels and posh soaps etc. O well can’t complain too much about brother- 5 visits (7 days) this year rather than the previous once a year visit (3 days).

I was going to suggest the same, decant shampoo into the favourite bottle, if you've got several to re-fill, it won't matter if the manufacturer changes packaging.
It sounds like Christmas went even better than you hoped, knowing your mum is treating the CH like home must really settle your mind; phew! one less thing to worry about.
Our Christmas was happy but over to quickly, we all have streaming colds and mum's has gone to her chest, so now on antibiotics. Thank goodness the surgery opened yesterday.
 

Sarasa

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Apr 13, 2018
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Nottinghamshire
So glad your Christmas with your mum went well @Bikerbeth. It sounds like she is settling well into the care home. A pain about the doctor's appointment though. I never know what to do about mum and toiletries, she used to love that sort of stuff, but it all seems to confuse her now.
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
Thank you @annielou and @Dimpsy for the suggestion of decanting.
@Dimpsy I hope you all feel better soon and the colds are fleeting ones especially for your Mum.
@Sarasa - it was quite funny in some ways because brother brought her some rose scented soaps as he ‘knew’ she liked them as he had seen them in her shower at home. If fact it was me just using them up whilst Mum continued just using her brand. It was nice to know that he had at least thought about the gift.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
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Nottinghamshire
@Bikerbeth, I’m still using the un-opened shampoos, shower gels etc I found when clearing mum’s flat ahead of selling it. Mum had about twenty jars of Boots night cream which is £25.00 a pop!
 

DesperateofDevon

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Jul 7, 2019
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Aged mother won’t shower & a baths not an option!
Tempted to strap her onto the beetles roof bars & take her through the car wash at Tesco!

I stopped purchasing toiletries as supplies were overwhelming her bathroom!
Aged mother now has a growing collection of scarves ....
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
Aged mother won’t shower & a baths not an option!
Tempted to strap her onto the beetles roof bars & take her through the car wash at Tesco!

I stopped purchasing toiletries as supplies were overwhelming her bathroom!
Aged mother now has a growing collection of scarves ....
O that made me laugh out loud. I hope she still has a swim suit to protect her modesty or at least an alternative use for the collection of scarves:D
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
@Bikerbeth, I’m still using the un-opened shampoos, shower gels etc I found when clearing mum’s flat ahead of selling it. Mum had about twenty jars of Boots night cream which is £25.00 a pop!
@Bikerbeth, I’m still using the un-opened shampoos, shower gels etc I found when clearing mum’s flat ahead of selling it. Mum had about twenty jars of Boots night cream which is £25.00 a pop!

Well I guess one positive or your reward for clearing the flat. I guess again I am lucky because apart from clothes Mum was a bit minimalistic.
 

annielou

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Sep 27, 2019
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Yorkshire
I'm imagining Herbie the love bug arriving at the car wash with an older lady strapped to the roof rack with colourful scarves and wearing a scarf sarong. The drivers hand pops out the window and puts the token in selecting full wash and dry with no wax!!! :D;)
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
I'm imagining Herbie the love bug arriving at the car wash with an older lady strapped to the roof rack with colourful scarves and wearing a scarf sarong. The drivers hand pops out the window and puts the token in selecting full wash and dry with no wax!!! :D;)
:eek::D
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
Took one of my friends to see Mum today. Mum knows her well but today she did not recognise her. Friend mentioned how much Mum had deteriorated since October when she saw her for Mum’s birthday. As much as she likes Mum I don’t think she will visit again.
Mum was in full complaint mode today. She wanted to move rooms as she is stuck at the end of the corridor (5 rooms in total on her side) and therefore nobody pops in to see her. I mentioned that room was chosen as she wanted a quiet room but she could move room if she wanted to. Again I take this as a positive that she is talking about moving rooms rather than going home. We also had a 2 hour loop of ‘she was cross as the staff would not give her a ticket to go out on her own’ distraction only worked for so long so foolishly I tried the line of reason: fire regulations etc, because she is a bit forgetful they need to make sure she is ok but without success on my part. So I said she should talk to the Manager when she was free and one of the lovely reception staff sitting nearby said I’ll let you know when she is free but could you help me take the Christmas decorations down after lunch. I took that as my cue to leave
 

annielou

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Sep 27, 2019
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Yorkshire
Thats a shame todays visit didn't go well. Distraction has very rarely worked with mum so far, well done to reception staff for the decoration suggestion. Funny how other people seen to distract easy than the regular carer/family. That sounds positive that mum is talking about moving within the home rather than out of it x
 

Bikerbeth

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Feb 11, 2019
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Bedford
Thats a shame todays visit didn't go well. Distraction has very rarely worked with mum so far, well done to reception staff for the decoration suggestion. Funny how other people seen to distract easy than the regular carer/family. That sounds positive that mum is talking about moving within the home rather than out of it x
It was quite strange as my friend is an extrovert and will chat to anyone about anything but faced with my Mum she was very quiet. I think it just goes to show how some people have special skills that are frequently undervalued.