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Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
Hi @Bikerbeth, I've just re-read my last message, gosh I sound a right bossy-boots! Excuse - it was late after a veeeeeeeery long day at work with our Christmas special.

Simple things like what shall we have for dinner, I encourage mum to choose between this or that, in my simple mind I think it's exercising her brain (probably wrong), but anything major we have a chat, and occasionally she can decide but more often than not she asks me to decide for her.

I must admit sometimes I find it hard to make decisions (again in my simple mind), I feel I start the day with a brain that can cope with a number of decision making tick boxes (say 100), then choice number 101 comes along and I'm stuffed, brain weary. Guess it's my age showing me up!

Good luck with your Christmas invite.
I never took it as being bossy. Always open to suggestions. My Mum sounds similar stage regarding decisions. I was just a bit cautious as she was becoming very paranoid about me (nobody else) but seems a bit better now. what you said about decision making each day rings so true - I know some days I just turn round to OH and say you make the decision I made enough today for me and Mum already
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,045
I never took it as being bossy. Always open to suggestions. My Mum sounds similar stage regarding decisions. I was just a bit cautious as she was becoming very paranoid about me (nobody else) but seems a bit better now. what you said about decision making each day rings so true - I know some days I just turn round to OH and say you make the decision I made enough today for me and Mum already
That's EXACTLY what I say to my OH, I get to the point where I just cannot for the life of me decide any more and ask him to do it.
Do you think that's the same thought pattern/process as our PWD's experience?
Do you think we are in the early stages of you know what?
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
So @Sirena and @Dimpsy it worked. As we headed off to The supermarket in the car I casually said I will pick you up about 10am on Christmas Morning and she said Yes - hurrah. I will remind again.
Yesterday when I rang she sounded quite aggressive towards me as the Doctor had been in. Her tone suggested that I knew all about it and was trying to ‘trick her’. I knew nothing genuinely so I said speak to X the senior carer on that day (who is very good) I gave it 30 mins and then spoke to X who said GP was coming in to see a couple of other patients and just saw Mum whilst she was there to check Mum was Ok. X had explained this to Mum and after some repetition Mum was fine with it. Today on the visit I decided to be bold and ask Mum if she had spoken to X about the Doctor and Mum said Yes it was all sorted.
We headed out to supermarket to buy some more shampoo which she needed and more toothpaste and make up which she didn’t. There again if she has 3 tubes of toothpaste there maybe a chance of her finding one at least. I pointed out some silly Men’s socks in the clothing section to make her smile and she said she would buy them for my OH for his Xmas present and what else would he like. (Hopefully this means he is out of her bad books as well)
Just need to go up to her to her room with the maintenance man and tell her that he is going to put her suitcases in the storage room (so I can sneak them out). She broke a drawer in the wardrobe standing on it to try and get the cases down and today before I arrived she had moved a small chair and stood on it to see what was in the case. I think if we remove them without saying anything she will become suspicious. All in all a good visit
 
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Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
That's EXACTLY what I say to my OH, I get to the point where I just cannot for the life of me decide any more and ask him to do it.
Do you think that's the same thought pattern/process as our PWD's experience?
Do you think we are in the early stages of you know what?
First one Yes. If you think when you are really tired it is so hard to make a decision but first thing in the morning the same decision would be easy. I did a 24 hour endurance event and at the end I had problems trying to even spell my name
Second one I certainly hope not
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,045
First one Yes. If you think when you are really tired it is so hard to make a decision but first thing in the morning the same decision would be easy. I did a 24 hour endurance event and at the end I had problems trying to even spell my name
Second one I certainly hope not
Crikey, me to!
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,045
So @Sirena and @Dimpsy it worked. As we headed off to The supermarket in the car I casually said I will pick you up about 10am on Christmas Morning and she said Yes - hurrah. I will remind again.
Yesterday when I rang she sounded quite aggressive towards me as the Doctor had been in. Her tone suggested that I knew all about it and was trying to ‘trick her’. I knew nothing genuinely so I said speak to X the senior carer on that day (who is very good) I gave it 30 mins and then spoke to X who said GP was coming in to see a couple of other patients and just saw Mum whilst she was there to check Mum was Ok. X had explained this to Mum and after some repetition Mum was fine with it. Today on the visit I decided to be bold and ask Mum if she had spoken to X about the Doctor and Mum said Yes it was all sorted.
We headed out to supermarket to buy some more shampoo which she needed and more toothpaste and make up which she didn’t. There again if she has 3 tubes of toothpaste there maybe a chance of her finding one at least. I pointed out some silly Men’s socks in the clothing section to make her smile and she said she would buy them for my OH for his Xmas present and what else would he like. (Hopefully this means he is out of her bad books as well)
Just need to go up to her to her room with the maintenance man and tell her that he is going to put her suitcases in the storage room (so I can sneak them out). She broke a drawer in the wardrobe standing on it to try and get the cases down and today before I arrived she had moved a small chair and stood on it to see what was in the case. I think if we remove them without saying anything she will become suspicious. All in all a good visit
That's good news, Christmas sorted.
Your mum must be pretty fit, climbing onto a chair; standing in a wardrobe drawer, she sounds a real daredevil, the CH will have to rewrite the health and safety rule book just for her!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
Physically fit for a 90 year old. Can happily walk a couple of miles a day but needs her stick for half of it. Frequently stood on chairs to clean the windows at home etc frightening the life out of me.
I hope she stops breaking the place soon though - just waiting to see if I get a bill for damages.
I suppose as it is a new home I could say Mum is testing out the furniture for them to ensure the health and safety of other residents;)
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,078
I didn't realise your mum is 90 - my gran was the same though. She died at 93 and in her late 80s she was still getting up on a ladder to clear the gutters!

Well done on sorting out Christmas, I hope it goes well and your mum enjoys it.
 

Kingsbridge

Registered User
Dec 8, 2019
33
My mum also has never had sugar in tea but visiting in care home today she wanted sugur in her tea she was also eating a samosa she has never eaten spicy food ever
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
@Kingsbridge the tastes do certainly change. I was surprised when Mum had her first Thai curry earlier this year and enjoyed it but it becomes understandable when you realise the sense of taste changes. Mum also decided to have sugar on her cornflakes the other morning. Again something I had never known previously
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
So as the CH is still new and not too full they decided to do a residents and family Christmas lunch today with entertainment. The entertainment however was mainly directed at the ‘grandchildren’ there but I don’t think the children really appreciated it and Mum sat there watching with arms folded and stony face. I think a singer would have been better.
On the other hand all the staff really pulled together to serve us all a lovely Christmas lunch with our respective relative. In some ways it should of been us giving the carers Christmas lunch. Some are still lacking experience, some are not so good but there are some good and some exceptional ones too who work hard for rubbish pay generally.
We went for a short walk afterwards and then left Mum.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
872
Mum's floor of her care home had their party yesterday. There was a panto firmly aimed at the residents, with lots of songs they knew to sing along to, a few gags and a bit of dancing. My son got turned into one of the ugly sister's love interest and mum got to have a dance at the end. Afterwards there was a buffet tea. By then mum was getting a bit tired and grumpy, but made me laugh by suggesting they should have put on a serious play. She couldn't understand the very simple plot of Cinderella so I don't think Waiting for Godot would have gone down well.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
Happy Christmas to all on here. I hope you have managed to have a good day or at least not too stressful.
So decided to bring Mum to mine for Christmas Day lunch. Was very undecided beforehand but thought it might be the last year it would be possible. I had told Mum yesterday I would be over about 9.30am. we finally left the CH at 10.30am as she told me she had not had her breakfast yet. She had but she still managed to eat another 2 slices of toast. Arriving at my house We sat and drank coffee and opened Christmas pressies and she seemed quite pleased with what she received. I had kept her pressies here from her family and friends. She did complain that she had received ‘yet another pair of gloves’ from my brother so some memories do indeed stick. OH had cooked Christmas lunch and Mum happily tucked into that. Usually the only veg she eats is peas and a few slices of carrots. Today she ate parsnips and carrots and left all the peas, her taste must be changing again. After Christmas pudding she announced she would need to get back to the CH for tea as she had promised to help the staff out. So I said no problem I would take her back for 5pm. We sat, chatted and had another coffee waiting for the Queen’s speech. She mentioned that the home wasn’t very good and she would like to go back to her bungalow. I said no problem talk to P (my brother) when he comes at the weekend. She seemed ok with that and we distracted on to other chat. Mum watched the Queen’s speech and then announced that it was time for her to go and would I take her back. So of course I did. I see this as a good sign, that despite what she says, she is settling there.
We went through a first review of her care plan yesterday and it was interesting talking to the senior carer. She mentions how Mum does help lay the tables, helps with some of the other residents eg if they drop something she will pick it up and how she likes to spend time in the reception area, especially when the more ‘mature’ receptionist is on, ‘helping her’. I think when the new Activity Coordinator starts in January that too will help. Apparently she was even playing bingo the other day. (She would never had played previously)
So when she tells me she has nothing to do all day and is bored I am not sure I will believe her ;)
I guess I call that a good day or even a very good day. Lucky me
 
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Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
1,980
Well what a great day you've had. I'm so pleased it went so well
We went up to Mum's CH yesterday. My daughter also went up with her partner and 6 month old baby on the train. It's 200 miles away. We reserved the family room. It has a seating area with a suite a lovely dining table and a little kitchenette. The CH had dressed it up with a tree and lots of decorations, a China dinner service too. They laid on a delicious buffet. They couldn't have tried harder. We had a great time and Mum loved seeing the baby and her grand daughter. We exchanged presents too. When Mum got tired ...started saying she wouldn't open the presents and getting awkward I was able to take her back to the lounge where she felt comfortable. My husband took the family back to the station to catch the train while I talked to Mum. Then we came home on a very quiet M6 with hardly any traffic when Mum went in for tea followed by Christmas carols round the Christmas tree. And the CH has had a very full Christmas Day planned. So I'm very pieased .
Hope everyone's Christmas is going well and you're enjoying yourselves.
Merry Christmas
Susan
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
1,980
Thank you Bikerbeth. And to top everything off the CH have just rung to say that Mum has had a great Day today and joined in with everything and is still up enjoying herself. They thought as i live so far away I'd like to know. Isn't that kind of them.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
765
Bedford
Thank you Bikerbeth. And to top everything off the CH have just rung to say that Mum has had a great Day today and joined in with everything and is still up enjoying herself. They thought as i live so far away I'd like to know. Isn't that kind of them.
It certainly is. There are some absolutely brilliant carers out there.
All the staff at Mum’s CH had dressed up in some way. Senior carer on Mum’s floor was in full elf outfit