1. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    Good day up at Mum’s with OH. Helpful with him there as he could distract Mum whilst I sorted some things out. Brother rang and I told him Mum has agreed to 4 week trial. Seems reasonably happy about it providing Mum happy. Mum still on board although occasionally gets confused.
    Typically contract signed with payment made and then this p.m care home no 1 choice rang up with a vacancy. I guess we could have still back tracked today but we have decided to stick to the one we have signed up with. Only 3rd choice because the fees were higher. We still believe the care will be good
     
  2. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    614
    Glad you've got the place sorted and brother on board. A pain that the preferred home now has a vacancy, but maybe if this place doesn't work out you can re-consider. From what you've said your mum will be fine in the place you've chosen.
     
  3. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,873
    Female
    What a shame about the first home - but it still all sounds very positive. If the chosen CH turns out not to be quite right, she can move in the future. Well done with all your hard work keeping it all on track.
     
  4. LHS

    LHS Registered User

    Oct 5, 2018
    62
    My mum has never really liked animals or pets but she was at a garden centre with a friend and started raving about how cute a small fluffy toy sheep was. Totally not in character. She also hugs people now, she would never have done that previously.
     
  5. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    I think me and Mum only started hugging in the last few months. We were never a ‘huggy ’ family
     
  6. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    So up early to Mum’s and joined her for brekkie as she had been really busy for 2 hours (doing what I asked myself) and not had time to eat. Actually sorting out clothes went better than expected as I managed to keep her focused. I did put a few items back in her wardrobe when her neighbour popped by. Most washed and ironed and ready to pack. List made of all personal stuff that can’t be prepacked so I can check them as I pack on Tuesday morning. Some photos sorted to make the room a bit more personal for the ‘trial’. Short list of things we need to buy tomorrow. Mum seems to only own 3 pairs of socks and 1 pair of tights which she must have been washing each night. Must remember to sort her some shoes out tomorrow as well. The ‘This is me’ document just needs to be written out so it can be read. Tablets also to be collected and packed. Then I just need to remember all I have forgotten.:D
     
  7. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    The ‘This is me’ document is good but I felt ‘Mum’ was lost in all the facts. I contacted 4 of her friends and asked them to describe Mum in 3 words. I have then put these ‘descriptive’ words on the front of the form in felt tip pen. Anyway nearly all packed now - just a few odds and ends in the morning. Off to the physio and then drive to Mum’s new abode. Today was not a good day for Mum and she did ask where Dad was a couple of times this evening and then realised she was confused. Hopefully tomorrow we can get the inner ‘adventurous ’ Mum who traveled to Aussie on her own at 75.
     
  8. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    So proud of my Mum today coping with the news of her sister dying. She cried as expected and has spent the day alternating between talking about her sister and about the Care Home she is moving to. She is now wondering if she will have a deluxe room. (Answer no !!!)
    I remember when my Dad died she came and picked me and my friend up from the airport and chatted away until we got home. Then she told me my Dad had died the day before. She had loved him dearly. A brave lady.
    Tomorrow we head to the Care Home - her decision and choice or as she put it - my bags are packed so I might as well go.
    On a side note she was trying to remember something but couldn’t but suddenly said ‘ I think my brain needs a good wash to make it work again ‘ :(:(
     
  9. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    957
    Male
    North West
    Oh bless your mum. I have been watching todays events. Just to say a huge big good luck for tomorrow and your mum, I hope she settles and just takes it in her stride xxx
     
  10. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    Thank you. When Mum has been like she has today you would never know she had the diagnosis - only this evening has her speech deteriorated and her repetition / confusion increased
     
  11. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    380
    Female
    South East
    Good luck for tom @Bikerbeth , hope it goes as well as possible .
     
  12. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    Thank you. I think Mum realises that she will have some company there rather than just sitting at home on her own
     
  13. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    957
    Male
    North West
    yes I recognise that she's getting tired, best leave things now until she has slept. Hope you have a restful night
     
  14. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    So it is done. Yesterday started well as Mum’s neighbour/friend came round and they chatted whilst I loaded the car. We drove down and met my OH at the home. Some lovely staff took us to Mum’s room and then we went into lunch. Good start and then we unloaded the car and took Mum’s stuff to her room. Unpacked and tried to make it homely with some photos and a plant (taking that this a 4 week trial). Left OH with Mum whilst I did the paperwork. OH left and it all kicked off - why am I here? What is really happenings? When are we going home? Lots of calm responses and reassurances and repeating it is just to try and see if you like it here. Not happy but did have some tea in her room. She spoke to my Cousin (in her stress she had totally forgotten that she had spoken to my cousin). Cousin reassured her she would let her know when Aunt’s funeral is. Also put my Dad’s photo on the bedside table and told her that he would look after her. She seemed to settle then. stayed until 8.30 and then left her with a big hug and told her how much I loved her and that I would be back in the morning
     
  15. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    What a difference this morning. She was full of smiles and had met the other 3 residents on her floor for breakfast. We went to the lounge and had some coffee and then the ‘activities coordinator’ came to take her down to the residential area to join in ‘play your cards right’. She had never seen it on telly but quickly picked it up. More laughs and smiles and after she started to chat to the other 2 ladies there. I ‘disappeared’ to a different part of the building whilst she had her lunch with the ‘residential’ ladies. Talking to the staff later she had made a friend and had happily chatted away. After lunch I went back up to her floor and she was sitting in her area (for those with dementia) starting to ‘paint her fairy door’ She told me I could go home and that I did not need to go tomorrow. Result :) she is happy and so am I. 1 other lady is probably at about the same stage as Mum but the other 2 are further along their journeys so the plan is that Mum will spent lots of time in the residential area as well. A day for me tomorrow as OH is out all day.
     
  16. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    175
    Female
    Just been catching up @Bikerbeth . Well done it all seems to have gone really smoothly. I am so pleased for you that mum has settled well. Now you can relax a little knowing she is safe, looked after and happy.
     
  17. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    957
    Male
    North West
    Glad your mum has taken to it, hopefully she will settle in now. The activities sound good and great your mum joins in :)
     
  18. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    I must admit I am feeling incredibly lucky mainly because Mum has generally been so positive.
     
  19. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    458
    Bedford
    #239 Bikerbeth, Nov 15, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2019
    I was quite surprised she joined in - I did not think they were her kind of thing’. As she had said to me earlier that she did not know what she was going to do all day I was so glad she gave both activities ago. I must admit I enjoyed the ‘play your cards right’ as it was just such a lovely atmosphere :D
     
  20. Pete1

    Pete1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2019
    234
    Male
    Good Morning @Bikerbeth, it sounds very positive for your Mum (and of course you too!!), not only does your Mum seem to have settled well but she is having a much richer experience having activities and others around her. I hope you enjoy your 'day off'
     

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