Sugar in her coffee

[jennifer1967]

I had so much helpful advise and support on the forum I wanted to say thank you to all of those people who still come on here. Thank you to all those who come on here and support others. For me ‘I had to get away from the forum for a while and I never came back. Christmas 2021 was one of the last that Mum and I managed to have a reasonable one. After a fall in 2022 she was sent to hospital for a scan in case she had a bleed on the brain. I did not want want this for Mum as previously it took them 5 days to scan her (and by that time it would have been too late for them to pick it up). Brother and safe guarding insisted and finally after a week and with sedation she was scanned. Of course it was a total waste of time for everyone as it was far too late again by this time. Hospital visiting was still restricted to one hour every 3 days so Mum seriously declined, had another fall in the hospital and lost 15kilos. The consultant said she could go back to the care home after a week. However it took a further 3 weeks after constant battles to get the hospital to do a care plan that the care home accepted. Mum never really recovered. She never walked again and was never able to eat solid foods. That was possibly the worst time seeing my Mum goes through that pointlessly. It was the time I cried most. Fortunately the consultant added a note on to Mum’s records to state she should not be admitted to hospital again for a suspected bleed on the brain as they would be unable to treat her.
For about 18 months she remained bed bound. She rarely smiled, frequently got frustrated but like me the care home staff loved her for her feistiness,
Thankfully she passed quickly at the end on Nov 7th and I now truly hope her soul is set free.

Thank you once again and I am so glad I found this forum. I wish everyone that they can have their best journey with their relative on this difficult path. I was not the best daughter but I did the best I could.
I wish you a Happy Christmas and the best new year possible

at least your mum is at peace. i often wondered what had happened to you. happy christmas to you

 

[Bikerbeth]

at least your mum is at peace. i often wondered what had happened to you. happy christmas to you

I used to wonder what had happened to people too which is why I thought I would pop back and just finalise the tread. I will have a look at your posts to see how you are doing and I wish you a happy Christmas

 

[jugglingmum]

Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear your mum was bed bound for so long.

It's good to hear that the care home staff loved her.

Sorry for your loss but glad to hear your mum is at peace JM xxxx

 

[canary]

Thank you for coming back and telling us what happened
Im sorry for your loss and I hope you can get some closure, but dont expect too much from yourself for a while yet.
I think you were a good daughter - you did your best and that is all anyone can ask of us
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

 

[Sarasa]

So sorry to hear that news @Bikerbeth . I’ve often thought about you and your mum and wondered how you were. So sorry her last few months were not great. My mum also died this autumn, and I have such conflicting emotions. Sad she is no longer with us, but happy she is released from this vile disease.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Bikerbeth, it is good to hear from you again. I do remember some of your early posts as it was around the time that my wife moved into her care home. This will be her 5th Christmas in the home. Too often we get to know people on here then lose touch. It is very heartening to read your post, despite the sadness of losing your mum. It means a lot to me and other Forum members that our support and understanding have been helpful and appreciated. With all the best for Christmas and the future.

 

[ShivyDevon]

I had so much helpful advise and support on the forum I wanted to say thank you to all of those people who still come on here. Thank you to all those who come on here and support others. For me ‘I had to get away from the forum for a while and I never came back. Christmas 2021 was one of the last that Mum and I managed to have a reasonable one. After a fall in 2022 she was sent to hospital for a scan in case she had a bleed on the brain. I did not want want this for Mum as previously it took them 5 days to scan her (and by that time it would have been too late for them to pick it up). Brother and safe guarding insisted and finally after a week and with sedation she was scanned. Of course it was a total waste of time for everyone as it was far too late again by this time. Hospital visiting was still restricted to one hour every 3 days so Mum seriously declined, had another fall in the hospital and lost 15kilos. The consultant said she could go back to the care home after a week. However it took a further 3 weeks after constant battles to get the hospital to do a care plan that the care home accepted. Mum never really recovered. She never walked again and was never able to eat solid foods. That was possibly the worst time seeing my Mum goes through that pointlessly. It was the time I cried most. Fortunately the consultant added a note on to Mum’s records to state she should not be admitted to hospital again for a suspected bleed on the brain as they would be unable to treat her.
For about 18 months she remained bed bound. She rarely smiled, frequently got frustrated but like me the care home staff loved her for her feistiness,
Thankfully she passed quickly at the end on Nov 7th and I now truly hope her soul is set free.

Thank you once again and I am so glad I found this forum. I wish everyone that they can have their best journey with their relative on this difficult path. I was not the best daughter but I did the best I could.
I wish you a Happy Christmas and the best new year possible

Hello @Bikerbeth

Well I have just spent the last 4 days reading your thread from beginning to end. I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing you and your mums story - although a lot of it was tough for you, the things you have shared have been just so helpful to read where at times I've laughed out loud and others had tears in my eyes.

When you read the whole thread in one go, you really see what an AMAZING daughter you were to your mum - the care you showed, how you advocated for her and the commitment to making her final years as happy and comfortable as possible. Please do not underestimate how incredible you were over that time. it was also lovely to read the blossoming friendships with others on the forum. I had a hope you would all meet up for a country walk and a coffee and cake one day

I send my love to you and your OH. I hope you're now able to relax and enjoy your lives.

Your mum would be super proud of you - you don't have to be a huggy family to be proud and feel love.

All the best

Shiv