I take your point but there are two sides to any situation. Regrettably there is no perfect answer, You raise a valid point but despite the risk of being slatted for appearing insensitive I think some points need to be made.
look at the times when some members post here, quite often in the early hours having had a day driving them to despair.
It would be great if no human emotion slipped into the posts, no gallows humour, all fears and anxiety contained behind tight lips. Unfortunately life is not like that, Star Trek’s Data does not post on this forum very often.
Please understand I am not trying to be glib. Read some of my posts trying to help and support others in dark moments. I try to select my words carefully. I share your concerns. That said consider the need for carers to have a place they can go, seek help and support, let go of their frustrations, anger, anxiety for the future. If not here then where? some people posting here are in desperate moments, trying their best for their loved ones, tired out physically, some also emotionally. At 2AM in those circumstances how it might read, will I cause offence, etc, are I suggest not that persons primary concern. Before anyone judges that comment remember if that carer burns out, gives up, etc, then in the background the PWD is in real trouble. How they reach out for help, the actual words used in the moment, are far less important than the fact they feel they can reach out.
There are moderators on this site. It is split down into different forums. If you stray into one meant for a certain group then you should be mindful of their needs. For example I sometimes read threads on the forum end of life care. Mum is not there yet but I read to try and see what might be our future, what can I do to help mum and me when that time comes. I accept the comments made as being from people in their darkest moments, sharing their grief to help themselves and possibly others yet to reach that stage. Coming to the end of no doubt a long road of caring. Another thread was posted by a lady over several months, deciding to put her mum into a care home. Making the decision, deciding which one, preparing for the day, packing up her mum’s old home. The emotions were powerful, it was hard to read sometimes but it gave me an insight into what may one day face me. From the bottom of my heart I thank that lady for her honesty, courage and determination to chart her journey. If a PWD read the same thread and found it distressing should we take down that thread? We need to be sensitive to each other, but forums such as this one deal with emotionally charged issues, feelings stretched beyond where they should be, etc.
So If Norrms ever strayed into forums headed for example I care for a person with Dementia, he would need to put himself into the shoes of a carer. If that were possible for him to do, having read his very moving description of his experience of living with Dementia. Note the posting time. Is the wording meant to insult a PWD or are they from stressed, tired, loved ones trying to get help? He appears to have the capacity to still make informed opinions. Please try and accept the carers posting are doing a demanding role for loved ones.
I stress again I am not being glib, trying to minimise that a PWD might find some comments annoying, Unsettling, disturbing, insulting, etc. What I would ask them is how would the life of a PWD be improved if self imposed censorship meant carers in sometimes very emotionally demanding circumstances felt unable to post, for fear of how it might read to others. Norrms if you ever read this post please try and understand what I am saying. If you were a carer, tired, fighting a system that does not seem to care for your loved one, seeking help for a practical problem, are the words sometimes used more important than the underlying purpose? Please let us not fall out amongst ourselves when there are so many others things we must contend with.
On any forum there will be a handful of people who might appear tactless, could have put things slightly better, etc, but if the price of tidying that up is just one carer really in need does not post that I would suggest is to high a price. Society largely ignores Dementia, belittles the very real struggles and problems it creates, charitably you could say it does not understand the issues.. This forum is a goldmine of information, based on the contributions of genuine people trying their best. It has been very helpful to me. PWD have a dreadful experience and have no choice. Carers hang on in there through love, taking god only knows how many emotional knocks, practical issues to be dealt with.
Hope my words are accepted as genuine by any PWD who reads them.