I am really glad you are asking these questions. You are right dementia is manifest in a unique way in every individual, there is no one size fits all. My husband has bvFTD. He has, with hindsight been ill at least 10 years, DX Nov 2012. It has to be seen that the home situation for a spouse is totally different than for other relationships. There is no escape for a wife as my home and my relationship has been invaded by FTD. That is to say it is any easier for any other relatives, problems caused by not living with the sufferer are just as bad, but I can only comment on my situation. I have found very few agencies have any knowledge of this illness or desire to learn, I am told he doesn't function like ALZ/dementia, of course not he has got FTD. I have been asked why he loses all the cutlery, turns the boiler off so we wake up frozen, goes to bed with a pair of scissors in his bed, do I think he feels he wants more control in the running of the home? No I don't , he has dementia and severe short term memory loss, there is no logical explanation to be found. I was told he doesn't seem happy, is that because he isn't happy living with me? NO He knows he can't talk properly, or always understand what is said to him, he doesn't like being incontinent, or constantly getting lost, he wants to be the man he once was, he wants to die because he hates the life he has. No daycare support will give him back what he has lost, he doesn't want to need support, he wants to do it himself, how insulting is it to suggest that if he isn't happy it must be because of me. I didn't give him FTD, and in his eyes wreck his life, and mine. We had our 2nd wedding anniversary last week, he was 60 last year, we weren't allowed to celebrate because he says he has nothing to celebrate. The illness has taken his ability to feel or express any emotion other than anger, in this words he has nothing. The only person who really hears us is the CPN, when he went to the GP to register his advance decision the GP felt it was too early as he still quite high functioning, as Chris said like a robot in a world devoid of meaning or full interaction with other people, because he can't properly communicate or make an emotional connection with anyone. It has been said that some people are born that way, but Chris's point is you probably don't miss what you never had, he is losing what he once had, things that other people take for granted, and the life that gives him he doesn't want. I think the only way forward for professionals is to really listen to what people like Chris say without telling him he is wrong, or coming up with a solution, but to understand the only acceptable solution for him is to be well, and if that isn't possible he will, as he has said, remain in God's waiting room. It is not what I or anyone else want to hear, but living with him I can see where he is coming from, and I am not sure if I was him I would feel differently. He is on antidepressants and mood stabilisers, but his reality is not one that anyone else would want, friends don't even visit, because 'they don't like to see him as he is' at least they have a choice. If students really want to learn, listen to people like my Chris then imagine themselves in his life, I really think they would know exactly what carers and sufferers need. I am sorry I have not have answered you questions as asked, but hopefully I have given you an overview.