1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Hi all
    Dad lives in an annex in our garden. He goes into respite later today for the first time. They came to see him and get his details on Friday and he seemed OK. By Friday evening he was shut in his bathroom, had pooed all over the floor. When my dh got him out to clean up he couldn't walk well then actually collapsed for the first time ever. Luckily I arrived home then and went across to help out. His legs weren't working well at all and he couldn't recognise me or speak remotely coherently. He rallied a little but tbh he's pretty bad anyway these last few months.
    Since then dads been very unsteady on his feet, and totally incoherent. Yesterday mornings carer called me to say he wouldn't get up and there's been more poo on the floor by his bed but he appeared clean (he was, it's very solid).
    He's mixed dementia with a history of a stroke and tia. I'm wondering if he's had another episode despite all the preventative medication.
    He has a psychiatry team annual appointment this morning so I'll see what they say.
    I'm also wondering if he's dehydrated or has a uti. He was assessed as needing only get one care visit per day a year ago - I used to pay for extra but it was a waste of time as they achieved nothing! Can I ask for a reassessment? Not sure what I'd ask them to do though as when I said I wanted more when he lived at home, they said me wanting someone to go and give him something to eat in the evening was a reassurance visit so not allowable under adult social care and to pay for meals on wheels.
    Just rambling really. It's all ifs and buts but the dark hours let the mind wander too much.
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,426
    Yorkshire
    Hi Dimelza
    I have only just seen your post - so I guess you've already been to the appointment - I hope you got to tell them of your dad's present situation and had some help offered.
    Seems to me you have every right, and the need, to ask for a re-assessment of what support your dad needs. Sounds to me as though they are relying on you to do all the caring, rather than assessing him as an individual on his own. If he didn't live next to you I doubt a care visit to make sure he had a meal would be considered just reassurance.
    Dad has TIAs - and I do wonder, with you, whether there has been another.
    If the appointment today didn't help, please do call in the GP to check him over.
    Best wishes
     
  3. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    Thank you :)
    Unfortunately the psych team didn't show.
    I took him to the care home who were lovely and said they'll get a urine sample in case it's a uti and call help if needed but let me know obviously if they need to. I'm literally 5 minutes away.
    I had a little weep after I dropped him. It was much like when I used to drop my kids at nursery, he latched onto someone he recognised (yes really, a man he's known for decades who barely recognised dad-he's had a head injury) and went without a backward glance.
    I'm missing him and wondering how he is but it's nice to have freedom. Given the annex a deep clean and cleared out all towels etc to wash. I will strip the bed tomorrow. Then that's it, a week with my little ones.
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,426
    Yorkshire
    Well, 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other!
    Sorry the team didn't show up - but it looks as though the respite week has come at just the right time and I'm pleased you are happy with the home - that will be a load off your shoulders and give you some peace of mind.
    Maybe use their feedback over the week to push for that reassessment
    Don't need to tell you to enjoy the week with the littleuns!:D
     
  5. Dimelza

    Dimelza Registered User

    May 28, 2013
    130
    I do think a week with new caregivers will help me gain an insight. Sometimes I think we're too close to see the obvious!
     

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