such a roller coaster ride

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by lifeonhold, Mar 7, 2014.

  1. lifeonhold

    lifeonhold Registered User

    Mar 6, 2014
    2
    My Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers over 2 yrs ago but sadly deteriorated at such a rate we thought she was going to pass away this time last year when she had a chest infection. This strong lady is still with us. I feel so sad. She is in a home in bed most of the time and being turned every 2hrs. Just having fortified drinks. She can't talk to me, only the odd word. I still love my Mum and miss her. I tell her I miss her and see her eyes well up. How long must my lovely Mum be trapped in this. She just doesn't deserve this punishment. I just can't focus on my life while she is suffering like this.
     
  2. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing, it must be so very hard for you, especially to see your mum's eyes well up.

    I feel that physical human touch is very important and very comforting, and the only thing I can think of is to touch her if you can, if she's not too fragile, stroke her, hug her, hold her hand, pat her, anything. I think this is what I would want. Of course you probably already do this.

    I'd like to welcome you to TP but am sad you've had to find us.

    I'm sure others with more experience and better ideas will be along shortly.

    xx
     
  3. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,512
    Female
    England
    Hi Lifeonhold and welcome to the forum. I hope you can find some comfort from joining us here. Please keep posting and hopefully we can help you to feel just that little bit better. Your Mum is a lucky lady to have you looking after her.

    Take care,

    Jay
     
  4. geordie

    geordie Registered User

    May 11, 2010
    108
    I agree with Collegegirl - touch is important for both you and your Mam - she is still in there - just different to how you used to know her
     
  5. claireybelle123

    claireybelle123 Registered User

    Mar 7, 2014
    12
    My heart is breaking for you, i understand your pain xxx
     
  6. Daisy48

    Daisy48 Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    120
    North Staffordshire
    Hi
    Hope you find comfort and support from TP,I certainly have.I'm so sorry that you are going through such a sad time. I have recently lost my dad,not quite 3 weeks ago.We couldn't believe how long he clung onto life
    For the last few weeks we did lots of touching(with warm hands or he would wince!)and we'd stroke his hair.We'd talk quite a bit.Sometimes if he was a little agitated my sister and I would sit and talk quietly and dad would calm and snooze.
    I wish you all the strength you need in the coming weeks and months.
    love Daisy.x
     
  7. Kate and jack

    Kate and jack Registered User

    Lifeonhold that's just how it is isn't ,not being able to get on with our lifes ....I feel mine is on hold too, bit in limbo! Watching your mum is gut wrenching and I bet there's times when you wish this wasn't happening ,that's how I feel.we don't deserve this turmoil,as does your lovely mummy,also dosnt matter how old we are but I know I still need my mum,as you properly feel the same,hang in there my lovely ,we are all feeling the same ,and that same is **** !!
     
  8. Jess26

    Jess26 Registered User

    Jan 5, 2011
    970
    Kent
    I empathize, I have been in your position.
     
  9. molly100

    molly100 Registered User

    Mar 17, 2012
    12
    I have just lost my dear mother (a week ago on Tuesday). She too was at a similar stage but you may have read in one of my other posts that she had a moment of clarity a week before she died where she told me she loved me after months of not speaking. This made me realise that she did still understand me when I told her I loved her all those times even though it appeared not to register. Tell her you love her often, smile, caress her hair, tell her she is beautiful, massage her hands, cuddle her....throw all your love at her. I know what you are going through and I feel for you and wish you both strength and courage. X
     
  10. Boney

    Boney Registered User

    Dec 9, 2012
    30
    Feel for you

    Oh how I feel for you for I am at the same stage too. Every time the phone rings you think is this it? Half praying that it is for their sake. I don't know where they get their strength but we must find it too. Hope you and your mum both find peace soon. X
     

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