Mum had a good day today. Although it started badly as she hadnt been able to master her new wheelchair (she didnt have to it was bought for us to push her in ) and she thought she broke her CD player (she hadnt someone had switched it off at the socket), as the visit progressed she began to cheer up. Somehow I feel maybe her end is very near. Her skin appears to have cleared and she looked 20 years younger, but she was saying desperatly she wanted to see "her boys" (these are my two sons) She appeared more lucid than she has been in months. Her aggression seemed to have abated almost completly and three hours really sped by. She has a ground floor room and she could see the car park from her window as I left. Without thinking I lowered the roof of the car, intending to wave to her, forgetting this would simply show my degree of freedom and her imprisonment. She smiled and waved as I drove off, stopping just up the road eyes too full of tears to drive home. I feel guilty for being young, being healthy able to drive away while she can barely walk and i wish I could give ten years of my own life to make the rest of hers easier.