such a drastic decline, how did this happen?

willsar

Registered User
Dec 27, 2010
51
0
My hubby has been in hospital for just over a week now. Since February(no maybe christmas but nobody would listen) he has been declining and eventually was diagnosed with a UTI after 2 weeks at home with next to useless help from doctors I found him collapsed again, called paras again who came to help and then he started vomiting old blood so was admitted, since then CT shows no vascular decline so this decline must be the Alzhiemers but how in a matter of weeks can I be left with a doubley incontinent, rambling man who barely recognises me except that I might take him home. How do I cope if he comes homes, I am in despair of the hospital, doctors and in despair of myself that I cant help my husband. Please how has this come on so fast with no answers from the doctors, can any of you help? They are looking to discharge him with a short term care package but the man they are sending home is not the man I had before this illness. I visited today and left after 20 mins crying I couldn't deal with him. What can I do?
 

kasay

Registered User
Mar 17, 2009
23
0
Lancashire
Take care

Hi,

My Mum had a water infection last year and she was really bad. Rambling, delrious didn't know who I was, very agitated, banging her head on the wall. This abated as the infection cleared up with antibiotics, it took many weeks before she was herself again. It may be the infection/illness your husband is suffering from has contributed to this.

Being in hospital is very disorientating for people with dementia, they are away from familiar places, people and rountines.

Ask about getting an assessment of his needs. It may be once they have sorted out this acute incident they can set up a package of support for you.

Try not to despair.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,005
0
72
Dundee
Oh, I'm so so sorry things are so bad for you both. I'm sorry I can't help - I wish I could. Have they actually ruled out continuing infections of any kind?

Please make sure any support package is equal to your husband's needs. You have to consider yourself too. Have you had a carer's assessment.
 

willsar

Registered User
Dec 27, 2010
51
0
Thank you. They say he is clear of infection now. They have taken him of all anti biotics. To me he seems to me to be a bit flushed and agitated all the time as though he has an infection still ( and if given a toilet be flushing it all the time like he was when I was moaning about him on TP christmas time)but now his mobility has gone only stand and shuffle with help and because its a weekend walking isn't happening. He just kept covering his head and saying people were laughing at him and wanting to wee,but they say he has been given a pad as he doesnt know when he wants to go and I have enough soiled pyjammas to know what is happening that way. I also saw on his notes today he has suffered multiple falls, except for one no one has told me of others and as I said I ran away crying like a coward so didnt ask.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,005
0
72
Dundee
Sending hugs. No help I know, but anyway....
 

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willsar

Registered User
Dec 27, 2010
51
0
:)Thank you. It does help more than you can know. XX Just wish I'd stop this dam crying no use to anyone.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
Hello Willsar

Please insist on a proper talk with your husband's consultant before he is discharged from hospital so you can ask all you need to know.

It sounds as if you are really frightened about managing him when he comes home so you must try to get more than a short term care package.

Forgive me , but is there any chance this care package is short term because they doctors don't think you'll be able to manage for long and will soon be thinking of residential permanent care.
 

willsar

Registered User
Dec 27, 2010
51
0
Grannie G

I dont know why just a short term package. But tonight I dont know if I can cope as I dont understand why it has all gone so badly wrong so quickly, but unless he comes home with support I dont know if I can cope. Trouble is he has moved to 3 wards since admission and I know that confuses, but your never get to see the same doctor more than once and each one seems to deal with a diffent thing and doesn't know whats gone before! I do know that a couple of times he has been ok ish to then sink back into this this .. i dont know. I want him home and always promised he would never leave our home while he knew or wanted to stay, it was his biggest fear of this disease that he would be in a home.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
It's everyone's biggest fear but sometimes it just has to be. It was my husband's biggest fear but he is really contented in the home he is in.

I would tell the hospital you cannot take responsibility for your husband's care at home unless you are sure you will get enough support. His confusion and condition might improve once he's home but you still need help and support.

Even if you see different doctors, the case notes should enable any doctor to discuss the severity of your husband's condition.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
Hello. You are going through a bad and frightening time and I am sorry. Do you have any family or close friends there to support you? I think you might really need to have someone there with you, especially to help you to speak to the hospital consultant. You have to make it clear what you can do to help your husband if he is to come home and how much support you are going to need. If it is to be a short term return home, then you will need to find out what sort of permanent care he is going to need so that you can find the best place for him. Please look after yourself. Take care, Maureen.x.
 

willsar

Registered User
Dec 27, 2010
51
0
Up until this admission I did everything for my husband alone, I washed him, dressed him, took whereever he/we needed I did plumbing after he blocked every toilet:) I had only just got him going twice a week to a day centre to give me a break and him the extra needed stimulation and he did love it. I will find someone to help me talking to the consultant, as I know I must have come across as wet when I met SS and Mental Health nurse to discuss his discharge. I do only want what is best for George and maybe I will not be it, but it still breaks my heart.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
You will always be best for George, just not necessarily the most able to provide for his physical needs. It's not wet to get upset when talking about the man you love, but I hope you can have someone there to help you. Night, Maureen.x.
 

kasay

Registered User
Mar 17, 2009
23
0
Lancashire
Willsar,

You are being very hard on yourself about being wet etc. Your husband is someone you love and want the best for, you have a great deal of emotion invested in him and your life together. Some people can put the emotions to one side and deal with things, for others (like me) it is harder. You are doing well to keep going, you have been through a tough time and done it all yourself. Now you need some support too.

Get someone to go with you to the hospital, arrange an appointment with the Consultant and go with the questions you want to ask, and find out what is available as support for both you and your husband. I find it is easier to face things whne you have information.

Even if your husband has no infection he will have been weakened by it and will need time to recover.

I also think from what you are saying you are in shock, and feel out of control. It is a scarey place to be. Try to be kind to yourself, you are certainly not wet.

Re the falling my Mum is classified as a high falls risk and the ward my Mum is on (she has a broken hip) now have a specially low bed for her and someone who sits with her. There are things that can be done.

Take care

Kasay
 

small

Registered User
Jul 6, 2010
110
0
harrow
Hi Willsar,

Oh Wiisar you've put so much loving care into looking after your husband alreadyYou sound as if the hospital are putting you under enormous pressure, and its in no ones interest for you to go under. If the worst comes to the worst you could just refuse to hvae your husband back just yet.

I'm wondering if there is some organisation locally that could help you as well, such as your local Alzheime'rs soc. or Age Concern. I know in some areas the local health and social services just try and offload their responsibilities onto the carer. There's been a new initiative from the govt encouraging GPs to ensure that carers get the help and CARE that THEY deserve.
 

parrypamela

Registered User
Jul 23, 2009
115
0
74
Hi, I know some of what you must be going through.

My mum was recently admitted to hospital after a fall at the care home. I saw my mum go from being slightly in pain due to the fall to total delirium, agitation, upset, confusion etc etc.

It was stated by the ambulance men that she may have a water infection, but it was at least a week in hospital before they even started antibiotics!

She was then discharged back to the care home after taking the anti-biotics for 3 days, this seemed to help. however, i was totally astounded to find out the hospital had asked the care home to stop her morphine patch she had been taking for several years because she was not in pain and it was not needed. She was not in pain because she had been lying in bed for a week and not walking on her arthritic knees!!!!!!! Also they stopped her anti-depressants she had been taking for a couple of years.

Her mood was rock bottom. i therefore asked the Care Home to continue with the anti=depressants and the following day she was a different person.

Don't hospitals listen to the ones who are closest to their loved ones and understand what their needs are??????

Water infections are terrible things with alzeimers sufferers but hopefully, your husband will start to improve once he is back home and you have the care in that you BOTH so desperately need.

Take care xxxxxxxxx
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Dear Willsar,

I am just doing a catch up and am so sorry to read of your distress. I remember having huge worries when the illness was too much for me as I was worn out with the enormity of it all.

I think it is very important that you feel you have adequate support before George is discharged. I remember being told not to agree to bringing my late husband home unless I was assured that a care package would start immediately upon discharge and I was grateful for this advice.

Do you have a Community Psychiatric Nurse with whom you can share your anxieties and gain support. It really helps to feel that there is someone fully supportive and someone in a position to influence.

Love and a (HUG)
 

bethan

Registered User
Dec 15, 2009
76
0
So sorry to hear about this.

I know it is hard to believe but a UTI can cause all this and after several weeks ( even though urine is clear) he may get back to where he was before. This has happened to my mum so many times, she has been psychotic, falling, fighting with nurses, accusing her children of trying to kill her- and then comes back to where she was before the infection. Google UTI and delerium. It is so little understood

Beth