Hi
Not sure if anyone has any advice. My Dad has dementia, started about 6 months ago and has got progressively worse. My mum is his main carer, she used to be a nurse so is well used to that practical side of things but not so much the emotional side. They are mid 80's but my Mum is very physically and mentally fit, and my Dad is mobile.
They have never particularly got on well, both having very different interests. My Dad has always been very sociable and out and about whereas my Mum has no friends and is happy on her own doing her garden. In the last 3 months she has confiscated his bus pass and his bank cards as she doesn't think he can cope catching the bus into town and doesn't trust him to take out all his money and lose it etc. I take him out once a week just me and him for a coffee and short walk but I feel he needs more than this. I have two young children and a part time job so its not easy for me to take him out much more in a week. My mum will not go with him so I am stuck feeling he should have the chance to use his bus pass. My Dad is now pleading with me to help him get his bus pass back but my Mum will not budge. I don't know if shes being overly controlling, but then she sees his really bad days and it can in no way be easy for her. I am so stuck as to what to do.I feel he would be ok on the bus but my mum feels so strongly he shouldn't have it I think we'll fall out and I don't want that at all. If I am completely honest I feel like he is imprisoned in his own home - he says he has no dignity left. His bus pass was his life line and I feel whilst he is lucky enough to still be mobile whats the harm in him taking the bus into the town and back. Should I be agreeing with my Mum on this or should I push it. Its such a horrible situation. I love my Dad and it breaks my heart to see him not be able to do these simple things as I know the illness will just worse in time.
Sorry for the rambling. Its actually helped just writing this down.
Not sure if anyone has any advice. My Dad has dementia, started about 6 months ago and has got progressively worse. My mum is his main carer, she used to be a nurse so is well used to that practical side of things but not so much the emotional side. They are mid 80's but my Mum is very physically and mentally fit, and my Dad is mobile.
They have never particularly got on well, both having very different interests. My Dad has always been very sociable and out and about whereas my Mum has no friends and is happy on her own doing her garden. In the last 3 months she has confiscated his bus pass and his bank cards as she doesn't think he can cope catching the bus into town and doesn't trust him to take out all his money and lose it etc. I take him out once a week just me and him for a coffee and short walk but I feel he needs more than this. I have two young children and a part time job so its not easy for me to take him out much more in a week. My mum will not go with him so I am stuck feeling he should have the chance to use his bus pass. My Dad is now pleading with me to help him get his bus pass back but my Mum will not budge. I don't know if shes being overly controlling, but then she sees his really bad days and it can in no way be easy for her. I am so stuck as to what to do.I feel he would be ok on the bus but my mum feels so strongly he shouldn't have it I think we'll fall out and I don't want that at all. If I am completely honest I feel like he is imprisoned in his own home - he says he has no dignity left. His bus pass was his life line and I feel whilst he is lucky enough to still be mobile whats the harm in him taking the bus into the town and back. Should I be agreeing with my Mum on this or should I push it. Its such a horrible situation. I love my Dad and it breaks my heart to see him not be able to do these simple things as I know the illness will just worse in time.
Sorry for the rambling. Its actually helped just writing this down.