Hi, new here. I am a psychological professional by background and felt I should be able to cope on my own and only just realising I am just a human being struggling as much as anyone!
My mum is 65 and has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Her speech is very poor, she has declined significantly over the past few months, and more recently she is not looking after herself at all (doesn't bathe, brush teeth etc). It's heart breaking, she was such a competent woman, took such pride in her appearance. My sister, dad and I have applied for both LPAs and just waiting for that to be processed. My sister is very supportive. Both of us live away from home but visit alternate weeks to help where possible, we both work full time with demanding and tiring jobs. Dad is 70 and works from home. He does his best but it really feels like it's getting to a stage where mum would benefit from a social care assessment. My dad is simultaneously a very proud, stubborn and anxious person, and is flat out refusing this. I suspect it comes from a place of anxiety and feeling some guilt/responsibility to my mum to meet all her care needs, however she can be very hostile towards him and often refuses his help, which makes this very difficult. Despite this, he is still sticking firm that he can manage. We are just about scraping by at the moment, but as she only lets me or my sister bathe her she is probably only bathing once a week. I feel guilty, as I am trying to maintain my own wellbeing alongside work and helping my own parents and have some sort of life, as is my sister, and also really frustrated with my dad about being so darn stubborn about not letting more formal support in. I have come at it with my professional knowledge, but he still doesn't listen and remains very sceptical of what social care could do to help. I am not necessarily looking for any answers on here (though if anyone has any, do share!). I suppose I just needed a safe space to vent, learn of others experiences, and just generally offload. Hope this is okay, thank you for reading and any pearls of wisdom that can be shared.
My mum is 65 and has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Her speech is very poor, she has declined significantly over the past few months, and more recently she is not looking after herself at all (doesn't bathe, brush teeth etc). It's heart breaking, she was such a competent woman, took such pride in her appearance. My sister, dad and I have applied for both LPAs and just waiting for that to be processed. My sister is very supportive. Both of us live away from home but visit alternate weeks to help where possible, we both work full time with demanding and tiring jobs. Dad is 70 and works from home. He does his best but it really feels like it's getting to a stage where mum would benefit from a social care assessment. My dad is simultaneously a very proud, stubborn and anxious person, and is flat out refusing this. I suspect it comes from a place of anxiety and feeling some guilt/responsibility to my mum to meet all her care needs, however she can be very hostile towards him and often refuses his help, which makes this very difficult. Despite this, he is still sticking firm that he can manage. We are just about scraping by at the moment, but as she only lets me or my sister bathe her she is probably only bathing once a week. I feel guilty, as I am trying to maintain my own wellbeing alongside work and helping my own parents and have some sort of life, as is my sister, and also really frustrated with my dad about being so darn stubborn about not letting more formal support in. I have come at it with my professional knowledge, but he still doesn't listen and remains very sceptical of what social care could do to help. I am not necessarily looking for any answers on here (though if anyone has any, do share!). I suppose I just needed a safe space to vent, learn of others experiences, and just generally offload. Hope this is okay, thank you for reading and any pearls of wisdom that can be shared.
