1. jjuk

    jjuk Registered User

    Aug 21, 2005
    3
    You might have read my intro - in case not I am just at the 'there is something not right' stage with mum. From my experience there is something wrong with her and I can only guess what at the moment.

    My problem is, and forgive me if this becomes a ramble, I haven't even yet mentioned it to the doctor so we are not on the road to discovering the problem and I am finding it so hard to cope with the thoughts and feelings and worries.

    I know that there is some form of cognitive impairment with mum its just a case of finding which 'flavour' and 'strength' it is, and without knowing these things speculation is pointless - but yet my mind wonders...

    I have no right at this stage to feel those feelings that those of you who have a loved one with a diagnosis feel - or at least thats how I feel sometimes.

    Mainly though I feel sad, very sad. My mum has lived a life where she never felt good enough. Self esteem was something she never managed to find much of. She spent all her life looking after people in an effort to feel loved and self worth only to become upset when those she looked after passed away. She has never done much, never gone anywhere much. She has tried hobbies and given them up feeling inadequate. Dad retires in a only 4 years and they have been making plans and this would be the start of them living life instead of just exsisting. Its not a feeling of unfairness I have its just sadness that someone can be so unhappy for a lifetime - maybe realising that is the reason I feel so sad.

    I know I could be jumping the gun and who knows there could be a fantastic outcome, but I am being realistic - and just hope for the best possible outcome, whatever that may be. And I do apologise if posting here is not correct - I feel it might be, but at the moment I have nobody to talk to about this. I can discuss it briefly with my sister but not at length. My partner says very little when I talk about it - I think he feels that if he doesnt acknowledge it then it will all blow away.

    If you reached this stage thank you for listening - I appreciate it.

    Josh
     
  2. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Josh
    Welcome to Talking Point.
    I can understand your fears,worries and your concern,but please do not jump the gun.
    It could be many things and you need to make your first port of call to the GP.
    Get some advice and lets hope your fears are unfounded
    Post here whenever you feel the need,there is always some who will listen and try to help
    Regards
    Norman
     
  3. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Josh - welcome. This is where we all unload our concerns, and hopefully someone else has travelled your road and can offer some support.
    Please let us know how things pan out for your Mum. Regards, Connie
     
  4. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Hi Josh,
    This is a journey we are taking with our loved ones with AD or any other form of dementia. It is very tough but there are also joys. It is a rare opportunity to give back to the ones that loved and cared for us. It is a way to gently help them through their final days. It is a way to bring happiness in surprising ways to them and to be there when they have needs and fears. In alot of ways, it is a blessing. It isn't a sudden heart attack that rips them from us or a painful cancer that takes them painfully. It is a slow forgetfulness with moments of humor, affection, caring and love. As hard as it is, and as painful as it often is, we are blessed to be on this journey with them.
    TP is also a blessing, it is a place to let you hair down and bare you problems. Sure has been good for me!
    Get a diagnosis for you Mom, it could be many things but an early diagnosis and proper medication could give you the thing we all wish we had more of......time.
    Take care,
    Rummy
     

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