struggling..

[nikkiat744]

Hi all,

My dad has been in care now for 6 weeks as we could no longer manage his 24/7 care at home. He has frontal lobe dementia, vascular dementia, alzheimers and now parkinsons. He has gone down hill fast now and can no longer walk or feed himself and is doubly incontinent. he hallucinates a lot some of which are ok and make him laugh, others that are horrible where he thinks he has killed someone. He also gets very emotional and is in tears but cant tell me why. I feel that I could cope better if I had some answers/clarity on a couple of things. I worry that he is upset because he is in the care home and not at home with us. I also worry about if he knows how long it is since he saw me, ie 10 minutes ago or 2 days ago, I don't know if the part of his brain that deals with his emotions is still able to function.
If anyone has any medical knowledge in this I would be grateful.
Many Thanks

 

[Beate]

He might be upset about that or about something else, but it's no good getting yourself upset about it as I'm pretty sure it was in his best interest to go into a care home. He will most likely settle.
Perception of time goes so it's perfectly possible that he has no idea what day it is or when he last saw you. I knew a lady in a nursing home who had a big family that were visiting her every day. Every time they did she would accuse them of never visiting her. She simply forgot all visits instantly.
When I went to counselling I was told that if I was worrying about something I couldn't change then it was best to try and let it go, otherwise it would eat me from within.

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to TP nikkiat744. There's many on here more knowledgeable than I am, but the Alzheimer's Society website has a good resource on https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia which may help you.
They have a helpline on 0300 222 11 22 where you can get more information.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm

 

[nikkiat744]

Thankyou, we go everyday, I feel guilty if I know he hasn't had someone there for even 1 day. I worry that he is just sat there feeling so alone and that's why hes upset. I don't know if he still has the capacity to think that he is alone or not.