Registered User
Apr 27, 2008
Hey all
I'm new here, my Nan has alzheimers and its getting worse quite quickly. The last time I saw her was Christmas and she wasn't great then although at least knew who we were when we were with her. However I spoke to my mum earlier and apparently now she doesn't even recognise my Dad, her son. I'm supposed to see her and the rest of the family on Saturday but I'm scared about how I will cope. Anyone got any advice?
I used to love going to see my nan and grandad when i was younger but i know she has really changed and i think my grandad is struggling as well
i just don't know what to expect...


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Ignite, welcome to TP.

I'm sorry to hear your Nan is declining so quickly, it must be distressing for your dad in particular.

How to cope on Saturday? Just be yourself!

Your nan is still your nan, even if she doesn't recognise you, and says and does strange things.

You say your Grndad is struggling -- well he will be, it's very difficult to live with someone with dementia, and cope with the problems 24/7.

Perhaps you could think of something you could do to help, like offering to sit with you nan for a while sometimes to give your grandad a break.

I know you'll cope admirably. You've shown you care by posting your question.

Let us know how it goes.

Best wishes,


Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
Don't be scared, pet

Your Nan may struggle sometimes to remember the right names, but I think she will welcome a big smile, "Hello Nan" and a hug. She IS still your Nan, but she's having trouble with her memory these days. That may be very confusing & frightening for her, especially if she thinks that people don't feel as loving towards her as they once did.

And I'm sure you are right when you say your Grandad is struggling to cope as well. I'm sure he would welcome a big hug too.
It is very hard to see someone you love, and have lived with for many years, suffering with an illness which seems to change aspects of their personality and behaviour.

I think perhaps your Mum was trying to make sure that Nan's failing health wasn't too much of a shock for you, as you havn't seen her for several months.
I'm sure she didn't mean you to be frightened, just as I'm sure that Mum wouldn't be encouraging you to visit Nan if things were too terrible.

Best wishes


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
you have got some good advice above , they nothing to fear really only the feeling of fear that all in our imagination even thought I can know how sad it must be for you , your feeling with your grandmother not recognizing you any more .

Take that left of faith into yourself imagine how great your grandmother going to feel when you give her a hug kiss & tell her all what been happing in your life since you have not seen her , she may not understand , but she sure know how must she loved when you hold her hand & rub it

let us all know how you get on . Welcome to TP ignite . ignite I do like your user name :)