Struggling today

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
cynron said:
One of the last things my husband did was to sit beside me while i was on the internet and do his colouring in books that were for children. This way he was close to me and that is what he wanted.

Cynron x x
Cynron, so glad the books worked for you. It's such a good way to be together.

Thank you.

I hope you're OK, and I'm so glad you're still with us. I'd miss you.

Love,
 

PatH

Registered User
Feb 14, 2005
301
77
N.Ireland
Hazel,
just read your post and sorry you feel so low. These are difficult times for you and your husband. My husband would not settle to do anything and consequently was always agitated. We did however walk miles, even in the middle of the night !
I never got a lot of sleep ,its surprising how the body adjusts however it does eventually creep up on your own health. So take care.
If your husband is going to automatically wake up at night then I suggest you get a nap when he wants to sleep.As for sleeping in another room , I tried that one,It really dosent work because he will either look for you or you will be unsettled wondering what hes doing.
My husband is very much in the last stages of his disease where his mind is at least at peace. I remember the stresses and the lows that you are going through and i know its not easy . I send my love to you all.
Sorry I cant post often ,circumstances are difficult.
Pat
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Hi Hazel
I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time at the moment
It's so sad when our loved ones lose a few more skills isn't it?
you have every right to feel a bit sorry for yourself!!
Mum was an avid soap fan and as time went on her concentration diminished and so the ability to follow went....the same with crosswords, reading....
I find it so sad when you posted that lovely painting John had done around Christas time....
Good luck with the colouring books
Sending you my love and hugs
Love Wendy xx
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
cynronThis way he was close to me and that is what he wanted.
what a lovely thing to say

I do love the way you express your feeling
Hazel I'm still feeling fragile, but my feathers have been nicely smoothed
I do love the way you express your feeling, please to read that xx

PS





I got my mother to wear her pads, by saying to her that all her underwear are in the wash, so she put them on. don’t know how long I shall get way with that one, but it did the trick for today Hazel
 
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Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Pat, it was so kind of you to think of me. It's so nice when people understand how wearing it is. I think you're right about the separate bedrooms, I decided against it last night. After all, I don't know how much longer we'll have, and I'd feel so guilty about abandoning him. Hope you're taking good care of yourself.

Wendy, so good to hear from you again. How's the job going?

I've got a lovely watercolour John did two years ago. I entered it in a competition, but it didn't win. I was so upset. Talk about being proud of our kids! I keep meaning to scan it and post it, I think it's lovely.

Maggie, I'm really struggling with the daytime incontinence. The trouble is, if I take him to the toilet, he doesn't understand what he's supposed to do. If I don't, he waits till he gets the urge and goes himself, but it's sometimes too late. I don't think it'll be long before he's in Pants all the time. It's awful, isn't it?


Thank you all.

Love,
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Hi Hazel
The job's going well hazel, thanks.....I'm just trying to catch up a bit on the posts now!!!!!.....and i don't mean to brag but I've lost 7 1/2 lbs at weight watchers too:) :cool: !!!!


hazel.....i had exactly the same problem with mum.....I'd take her to the loo ....usually when I needed to go so that i wasn't harrassing her too often!!!.....but she had no idea what to do....didn't recognise what a toilet was for....then yes...when she needed to go it was too late:eek:
i was lucky in the fact she put up no resistance to wearing incontinence pants.....i explained they were "special pants" to stop her getting sore (????) and she accepted that....

Oh Hazel....I agree ...it is very sad.....

Love Wendy xx
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
If I don't, he waits till he gets the urge and goes himself, but it's sometimes too late
Yes that is what is happening to my mother , even if I keep reminding her to go to the toilet & at day-center ( sometimes to late ) so she wears the pants (pads) at home just in case & still go to the toilet herself & pulls them down herself at home

just wish she do that at day-center
 
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DaisyG

Registered User
Feb 20, 2006
183
North West England
Hi Skye,

Have looked on the web at photo-jigsaws £9.99 for a 12X8 50 piece one.
Your Westie would look good :) . Still a lot expensive, but worth shopping around... maybe.

Domino - pictures


It's strange that I'm thinking of separate rooms/beds when my husband comes home from hospital... soon.
He already can wander in the night, usually after 4am, but I feel like I would be abandoning him, if i go into another bedroom.
I DO NEED QUALITY SLEEP THOUGH.


Not so sure about the incontinece issue / sleeping in same bed.
Just does not feel 'right'....:(
MUCH more of an issue now than before.

He wants to wear pull-up pants, rather than 'pads'.
Says it's easier for all concerned.
Sometimes it's OK, and he can go half a day or so, others... he suddenly looks down ... and says... "Oh, am I wet?".

Won't go/be taken to loo unless HE DECIDES... Does not like to be pressured.
Does NOT like reminders or prompts of ANY kind.

Got the additional problem of balance (lack of), co-ordination, HUGE visual left side neglect... and only having the use of 1 hand.

I guess in time I'll get used to these issues too... just not looking forward to it.

Take Care,

DaisyG.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Daisy & Maggie

We all seem to have the same problem, re incontinence. I thought it would be a question of reminding them to go at intervals, like with a toddler, but it doesn't work, does it? John won't be told either.

Night time's not a problem. John wears pants, and I have a kylie sheet on. I've never been aware of accidents -- until morning!

I guess it's just another stage we have to get through.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,141
Kent
Dear Hazel,

I`m so sorry you are facing this stage, the stage most of us dread. I know I do. I don`t know how you get through it and all I can offer is sympathy. Even as I offer it, I know it`s not enough.

Love xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
No, Maggie, it's nothing to do with Kylie!:D

It's a sheet that goes over the ordinary sheet. It has a waterproof backing, but the top is absorbent. They're washable. I have two, because they take quite a long time to dry.

If you google kylie sheets there are lots of sites. I had to buy mine, because our SS don't supply them, but I know some do. It's worth asking.

Love,
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Sylvia

Thank you for the message. I know you're having a rough time too. But it does help that people care.

Love,
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Hi Hazel.
Semms to be a bad time for some of us,I am getting more bad than good at the moment,I am fast coming to the end I think.
Had a fairly decent day,then nearly an hour trying to get Prg into bed!!!
Where do I go?where is the bed?
Then lies across the bed and not up and down.
I would sleep in another room,but then worry what is happening,will she go down stairs,never does alone,but might.
Might find the bed afloat etc etc .
Me moaning now.
Bottom line Skye I do know the feelings.
Norman
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Norman

I'm so sorry. I know you're having such a hard time just now. We'll moan together, shall we, and hope tomorrow will be a good day for both of us.

Love and (((((HUGS)))))
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Daisy and Norman,
We ended up moving mum and dads bedroom downstairs, and when we did so, put two single beds in the room rather than a double - it meant that dad got slightly better sleep, but was still with mum.

Hope you all have a better day today.
Love Helen
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Sandy said:
As for the issue that BeckyJan raised, finding images to colour for adults, I would recommend something like the colouring books published by Dover. Here are some of the titles listed on Amazon and you can see that they cover a wide range of subjects from abstract geometric patterns to horses and flowers:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b/203-1856897-9273554?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=dover+colouring&Go.x=16&Go.y=15&Go=Go

Sandy
Nell said:
http://www.coloringcastle.com/mandala_coloring_pages.html

This is just one of the many sites that has mandalas to colour. Some of these mandalas are very complex and might be beyond the ability of some AD sufferers, but if you look carefully, you'll find some simpler ones. Also, consider downloading and then asking your local copy shop to photocopy onto A3 paper. (Might be expensive so check out costs first.)

One reason I like this second site is that it has HEAPS of other colouring options - check out menu on right hand side of page.

Mandalas are very soothing for many people. They might have that effect on your loved ones - but please don't hold it against me if they don't!!
I just wanted to thank Sandy and Nell for their suggestions, and report how successful they have been.. I ordered half a dozen of the Dover books (fabulouis choice), and as there was quite a long delivery time, I printed off several copies of Nell's mandalas.

The success has been phenomenal. John enjoys doing them with his Crossroads lady, the one who's artistic. They have their walk first, then their coffee and cake, and than they both sit and colour for the rest of the time. She's very good at getting him to talk.

The books have just arrived, and they look brilliant. I ordered two of the stained glass window ones, and I'm going to scan them in an print them on ordinary paper, I think the see-through effect would be confusing. It also means I can print several copies of each.

Brilliant ideas, enough material for months to come, so thank you both.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Hello
Hazel pleased to read that John is enjoying the boos , May have a look at that Link Now to see if they could work for my mother :)
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,434
66
Toronto, Canada
Just to say I'm happy you have found something that works for John.

I only wish I could do something more for you. I want you to know that you are always in my thoughts as you are such a special person.

This is just a preamble to say that when I get to SW Scotland, your peace of mind will be in definite jeopardy. (Yes, here comes the humour, that's me all over, please don't be offended).

Love
Joanne
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,141
Kent
Dear Hazel,

How wonderful to find something that can compensate for a skill that`s being lost. I hope John has many happy hours with his new form of art.

Love xx