1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Degu2

    Degu2 Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    1
    My mum is in the final stages of dementia and did not know me at all when I went to visit her, I am struggling to stop myself from crying and feel like I can't cope with visiting anymore has anybody any advice about how I can stay positive and keep visiting I love my mum and want to be there for her but it's hard when she doesn't know me or talk to me :confused:
     
  2. flower1

    flower1 Registered User

    Apr 12, 2013
    124
    Hi Degu2, my Mum is also in the last/severe stage of vascular dementia. She does not know me anymore either and I understand it is so hard because it feels like total rejection and empty feeling when I leave her after visiting. My mum seems to be asleep a lot now (more and more just recently) and I have had to watch this journey with my Mum's illness for almost 5 years. What I have been doing recently is taking in some nice lavender body cream and have been massaging this in to Mum's lower arms and hands so I feel that it is comforting for her and also gives me chance to bond again with mum but in a different way. My mum cannot speak either not had any words or conversation in last 2 years. It is still hard though and as the illness progresses I want to get stronger but somedays I think how strong can I be and have to give in and try and let go a bit. I wish you all the best for the days ahead xx
     
  3. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Sorry, no advice but just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you (and Degu2) are having to cope with the distress of seeing your Mum brought so low by this horrible disease.
     

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