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Struggling to cope


Registered User
Jan 12, 2015
My mum is in the final stages of dementia and did not know me at all when I went to visit her, I am struggling to stop myself from crying and feel like I can't cope with visiting anymore has anybody any advice about how I can stay positive and keep visiting I love my mum and want to be there for her but it's hard when she doesn't know me or talk to me :confused:


Registered User
Apr 12, 2013
Hi Degu2, my Mum is also in the last/severe stage of vascular dementia. She does not know me anymore either and I understand it is so hard because it feels like total rejection and empty feeling when I leave her after visiting. My mum seems to be asleep a lot now (more and more just recently) and I have had to watch this journey with my Mum's illness for almost 5 years. What I have been doing recently is taking in some nice lavender body cream and have been massaging this in to Mum's lower arms and hands so I feel that it is comforting for her and also gives me chance to bond again with mum but in a different way. My mum cannot speak either not had any words or conversation in last 2 years. It is still hard though and as the illness progresses I want to get stronger but somedays I think how strong can I be and have to give in and try and let go a bit. I wish you all the best for the days ahead xx


Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
British Isles
Sorry, no advice but just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you (and Degu2) are having to cope with the distress of seeing your Mum brought so low by this horrible disease.