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struggling to cope


New member
Sep 22, 2020
I am a live in Carer working with a client who has dementia. In recent months the dementia has progressed with decreased ability to walk or stand and most recently constant groaning or mumbling. I am finding myself really struggling to cope with the new developments and would like to find some advice on how best to keep myself sane in order to provide and maintain the best of care for my client. Dementia is such a horrible sickness and it so sad to see the deterioration of someone who was once full of life.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Hello @Emma101 and welcome to DTP.

I think that if you were a family member coming on here with this story everyone would be posting, saying - its too much for one person to deal with, you need help, ask Social Services for a needs assessment and get carers in to help you.

You may be reaching the limit of what you can provide with live-in care. I suspect that she really needs to be in a care home now. You may have to get back to the family and say that you can no longer meet her needs all by yourself as she now needs a team of people.


Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
The decreased ability to walk and stand was one of the tipping points for my mother in law to go into full-time care. I think your client is reaching that point.


Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
Hi @Emma101

I do agree with the others that it sounds as though it’s getting too difficult for one person to cope alone, I presume this is what’s expected of you at the moment as her live in carer.

Do you wish to continue in your caring role? If so I think you need to speak to the family to see what can be done to help you - e.g. visiting carers to help with washing and dressing and regular scheduled time off.

Has a occupational therapist visited to see what equipment would help to deal with the physical difficulties?

It definitely sounds as though this is too much for one person now and you need lots of support to continue. I suppose what happens next depends on what the family can afford to do. It may well be time for a carehome.