Hello I’ve not posted for a while but I just feel so sad and completely lost at the moment. My lovely husband is only 48 and I’m 40, he was diagnosed with vascular dementia 5yrs ago but he also has type 1 diabetes, epilepsy and he’s registered severely sight impaired. We’ve always managed his conditions together as a team and I eventually had to give up work to become his full time carer, the last 5 years since the dementia diagnosis he has done relevantly well, he’s steadily away become slightly confused with things mainly day and night, meal times and needed more prompting to do things etc but he’s seemed to cope quiet well with the condition that is until a few months ago . I lost my wonderful dad in February this year and my heart is completely broken by it, he meant the absolute world to all the family and has left a massive whole in all of our lives including my husbands. Since my dads passing it just seems like he’s started to decline bit by bit to the point we’re at now. All of a sudden it seems over the last few months he’s almost fully lost the use of his legs so he’s permanently in a wheelchair now to get around and transferring him is becoming harder and harder, he’s gone from having a few accidents to becoming completely incontinent and having to wear pull ups all the time, he seems confused 90% of the time now and talks about things that make no sense to me but it obviously does to him and it’s as though he’s in another world most of the time, his diabetes is completely out of control and he’s having constant hypos where his sugars are dropping dangerously low as his appetite has gone and he will hardly eat anymore, he’s lost so much weight as well to the point his bones are starting to show . I do have district nurses who call once a week and a support worker who comes on a Thursday to give me a few hrs respite but I’m becoming absolutely exhausted with it all, I’m not sleeping at night as he’s having hypos and I’m so scared of leaving him as he sleeps on a special chair in the living room and doesn’t like to come out of there into the bedroom anymore . I had a phone call with his doctor the other day who basically said that everything that is happening to him is the dementia progressing and not being helped by his other conditions, they want to bring him a hospital bed home for the living room and he’s been assessed for some personal care support and been awarded 7 hrs a week 1 hr in a morning which I’m sorry but I think is ridiculous as 1 hr can be spent just trying to get him to swallow his medication. I just feel like I’m losing him right in front of my eyes and it’s scaring me so much, he’s my soul mate and I love him with all of my heart even though caring for him full time now is physically and mentally exhausting me the thought of not having him in my life terrifies me, I haven’t even had the chance yet to grieve for my dad let alone lose my husband as well. Forgot to mention that I also care for my elderly mum now since my dad passed away, they was together 62 years and she’s struggling so much with his passing too which is awful to see, she lives with us as we’ve always lived together as a family but I also feel like I don’t have any quality time with her due to my role as a carer full time for my husband. I just feel torn . Sorry my post is so long, I just feel so alone with everything and don’t know who to turn to, thank you for reading xx